Winter Storm Tips

Oh, those dreaded words from the weather man....Winter Storm possiblities.
In the Southern home that means a few things.....Do Not walk,Do not pass go,but haul ass to the local grocery store.You must buy milk and bread,even if you just did that yesterday.It also means that Schools will Close,as will everything else,b/c nobody can drive in winter weather.No,we dont have salt trucks,we do have tornado shelters and hurricane plans.But winter mess is another story.And No,we dont get the beautiful snow you see in ski ads,we get ice.and its bad.It sticks on power lines,cars,and roads.Schools will close at the mere mention of inclement weather.Im serious.Take today.Right now currently in West Tn,its a gloomy day.Chilly,windy,and rainy.BUT....the tempeartature will be dropping all day,and thus,since the potential is there,they closed the schools.I found it humerous when I checked the weather channel.com for my zip code and they had an illustration of ice hanign from trees on Monday and Tuesday,but by thursday break out your shorts again cuz the hi is 61.Ahhh,the midsouth,where if you dont like the weather,just give it a minute and it will change.YES,I have slept witht he heater on,turned on the air during the day and the heater again at night.And NO,we are not in the dessert where this is more common.
So in my 27 years Ive learned a few things about how to cope witht he threat of ice,adn its aftermath.Some dos and Donts.
DO:
hit the smoke shack and liquior store,STOCK UP.
Go get loaf of bread and milk,needed or not.Who am I to mess with moms of yesteryear.
Wash all the laundry,and dishes,case the power goes.
Make a big ole pot of somtehting that taste better 2 days later.Since your car can double as an extra fridge.
buy coca cola,and coffee,and Splenda.Cant have the kids on a sugar high,but you can have one.
Read online,before the power and cable goes about things to do to entertain children with no power.
buy maxi pads or tampons,you never know when mother nature will have a sick sence of humor.
go to the library and stock up.
Buy scented candles and smoke near a window...
Know someone who has gas heat and fireplace ,so hubby can drive you there in a 4 wheel drive,adn pay no heed to one of the donts below.
DONT:{this is most important}
Never take and adipex or speed BEFORE you know if work is closed and schools are too.you will be up cleaning your bathtub with a q-tip at midnight.Promise.
Never make salmon patties,or tuna salad,no matter how bad you want to.Wait a few days until its in the 60s again and you can fumagate your house.
never let your friends stay over.You dont know if they snore.Make it family time.
Never ask your neighbors if you or your kids can play on their hills on garbage can lids,sausers,or cardboard boxes.Someone will get knocked out.Been there.freaked my brother out,since he was the one shaking me back to life,but we didnt tell Mama.
Whatever you do,DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!If you want to try to finally learn to drive on ice,think that there may be other ppl who feel the same way,and you never know when yall might pass each other!
THese are just some obervations Ive made throughout my life.I did survive the BIG ONE OF '94,but God knows how my parents did.

Trying to make Lemonade of life

THeres the cliche when it rains it pours.Theres what can go wrong,will go wrong.And then theres when life gives you lemons,make lemonade.You ever tried to make lemonade out of sour grapes?Right now things couldnt be more crazy for us.ANd this extends beyond my little Suzy Homemaker cocoon.THis is....overwhelming.It all started I say with the words of my brother when i was at his house."Im not coming east unless Memaw gets sick".been downhill ever since.I got off the plane to Memaw is sick.Then she got pretty much better and is still getting well.Took a while for her to get sick,and it will take a while for her to get better.THen the Sunday before Thanksgiving Neils Grandad got admitted into the hospital.And he never came home.He passed away Thanksgiving day.He had been sick off and on for a while,so it was pretty expected.Grandad and I had had several talks about him passing,so I had a peace about it.His brothers came from Alabama,whom most of us had never met.They were so nice!and they felt kinda wierd being the only 2 left of the clan their parents had begun all those years ago.No time like a family reunion like a funeral.Welp,him passing messed up plans for Neil to meet my own grandmother,my moms mom.I call her edith.SHe lives in South MS and had come up the day after thanksgiving to see our family who lives in North Ms.Grandads funeral was sad and dreary,but it it was what he would have wanted.A simple graveside service and him buried in his overalls.Ive never touvhed a dead person before,but I did him.I patted his chest,and i fixed some pokey hairs and i said goodbye to a wonderful man.Neil and his brother sang Ill Fly away at the funeral and it put everyones spirits up.His friends came,Neils,and they were there for him like Ive never seen before.THey dont know how much I personally appreciated them for being there at some fo his darkest hours.
So after being gone from home for 5 days,I called Memaw and said,We're finally going home.Yay.wrong.She asked me had I spoken to anyone in my family,as in my mom or Edith.I said No.She told me Ediths husband had died.She was in North Ms when it happend and thankfully he went to sleep and went to God.So off to South Ms Neil and I went.He was finally going to meet MY extended family on Moms side.Not the way I had it planned,but thats what happend.I reconnected with my first cousin,who after all this time still greives for our Pap.To date his 1998 death has beent he hardest for me to accept and move on from.Jake is named for him.I told my,now 18,year old cousin that I hoped the next itme we saw each other was not under these circumstances.It was nice for Neil to meet everyone.I was suprised when he offred to go with me,as I didnt think hed be able to get off work,yet more time,and emotionally handle it.But he did,and I think this has brought us closer together.
We've been home a week now and my house still looks like a tornado.We'd been invaded by bugs before we left and tried all the home stuff to get rid of them.Combat didnt work,so we had to call a bug inspector,as jake calls it.So I had to take all my dishes out of my cabinets,and part of the stuff out of my pantry.Its still in various piles around my house.Tomorrow is Jakes birthday party and Im overhwelmed about all the shit i have to do to get my house in order.Not only did we come home to bugs,but Neil got a horrible stomach virus on our Vicksburg trip.Him and most of my extended family too.So he had to miss another day of work.blah!
I dont want to sound like I cant cope.In fact,I think all this stress has caused me to go into mania a bit.Im not sleeping and my brain is running 90 to nothing.
THis too shall pass,and I know God is in control and He will get us through Christmas.Which will be small and practical around here,as Im sure it will be everywhere else.

HomeMade dishwasher detergent and fabric softener

In my domestic godess quest there have been trials and errors.But I think I finally have homemade dishwasher detergent right.As in Ive used it and we aint sick.I had to tweak the recipe a bit,and finally got streak free dishes for mere pennies.Yay for me today.Neil is proud too.
ingredients:
2 packs of lemon Kooliade {i use the dollar General cheap stuff}
1 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
2 drops essential oil.your choice{i used clove oil this batch since its the holidays}

In a bowl mix borax and washing soda.Combine well.
Add kooliade,stir well again.
then add 2-3 drops essential oil.
mix,then I put it into an airtight small tub,from yet again the dollar store.
Use 1/2 -1 tablespoon in the first comaprtment and 1 tablespoon in the bigger one.
* Be sure to use plain ole white vinegar in your jet dry dispenser.

This has worked great for us. I kept having trouble with streaks before I added the koolaide.When I googled it,someone suggested citric acid.and that koolaide would work in a pinch.Dont use any other flavor,unless you use that invisable stuff they have.and also,the vinegar not only saves money,but gives you a streak free shine too.

Hoemade fabirc softener is about the easiest first step you can make when trying to go greener and save money.
1/4-1/2 cup baking soda
1/2 cup white vinegar.
Thats it.
when adding detergent,{I use liquid},fill your cup up to the 2 line add to washer,then add baking soda.
then either fill your dispenser or downy ball just to the line.
Your clothes will NOT SMELL LIKE PICKLES
and thats it.
Im highly sensative to commerical brands.About the only one who does not break me out in hives is the Walamart liquid kind,and only then a particular scent,which in the store I never could rememeber.
So there ya have it.easy ways to help your home go greener and save money.

Smashing Pumpkins are back,just different.

I came oif age in the late 90's.We got stoned to Oasis and Triple 6 mafia.We partied to Hank Jr,and old Johnny Cash,and David Allen Coe.We drank our blues away woth a bottle of Jack and watched to stars at the lake.We head banged to Smashing pumkins and rode around till dawn,for no other reason that gas was cheap.Then we grew up got married and had kids.Party is over right,wrong.Its just starting.This morning Jake and I carved pumkins.Yes,later than halloween,but still.We did this so I can mash and freeze it in zippy bags to make pies,bread,and even pumpkin black bean chilli thats on tomorrows menu.mayeb tonight.I was talking to my cousin the other day and told her if someone had come to me and siad Id like being a SAHM Id have laughed in their face.I kinda expected her to judge me a bit,since kids are not on her list.She told me that being a SAHM was wonderful,and that if we could make it,than thats what I should do.I told her I actually liked making homeade hamburger buns for dinner the other night,and eating jam Id made myself.My My how my world ahs changed.When Jake was little I had to work,or we would nt have had a place to live or food to eat.Now I get to be there for all of Levi's little things he does and hear about little girls Jake is crushing on.Its nice.No,its wonderful.I love it.Ive had to create new challenges for myself so I dont become this bored little housewife.So Im roasting pumkin to stock up for winter,lol.And its fun!Jake is bird hunting in the back yard with his trusty red rider bb gun,and Levi is into everything.Neil is such a good helper to me too.I would have my life any other way right now.Being Suzie Freaking Homeaker.Jake and i made homeade busicuts for breakfast this morning and Neil was happy.Cooking is theraputic to me and I enjoy it.Ive even gotten better about housekeeping too.Makes me feel bad for when I wasnt cosnidering all i see that needs to be done on a dialy basis around here.We just keep on keeping on and enjoy everyday.Most days.

My Guinea Pigs are revolting!

The big Guinea pig that is.poor ole Neil.I fixed him a plate of baked flounder,sweetpotato salad and brocolli last night.poor man hated it.he even went so far as to tell me he didnt like any of it.Not in a mean way.He just asked if I could stick to stuff we know we like,and not to waste the meager grocery budget on experiaments right now.So tonight for supper,its beans,and cornbread and cabbage,and pork chops.the KISS meathod.Keep it simple sweetie,lol.Its turned cool here in Dixie,and comfort foods are what we will be having.We've got company coming tomorrow night.When I asked my new buddy what she wanted,her reply was simple too.Fried Chicken,mashed potatos,and green beans.Easy.ANd my ttaers are famous.at least in my group of friends.I use real butter,and cream and whip them suckers into fluffly white froth.I keep it simple,and it pays off.I cant make good fried Chicken without Neil either.He and I work well,most of the time,in the kitchen.So the trying new things is off hte menu for a bit.except for Halloween.I will be making Colcannon.Its a tradtional Irish halloween dish you put cabbage and potatos in.And yes,a wee bit o bacon too.I hope to do my Irish roots proud.Your tradtionally supposed to put things like a ring,a button,and a thimble in it,and those who get them in their serivngs will be blessed accordingly.But I wont be doing that b/c I have small kids.their luck will just have to be the innocence of youth.Ahh,its good to be home....

Kugel is not for us!

Ok,so getting back into the swing of domestic godessdom is easy.Groacery shopping,diapers,and sweeping the forever messy kitchen floor.Always a family of guniea pigs on food,I decidd to try something new last night.And it made me think.I made a potato kugel.I followed a recipe that looked great.There was butter,and cheese,and potato and half and half in it.Cant go wrong there.UM WRONG.I made this hashbrown textured mess!The dog is going to get it for breakfast.I googled Kugel and found out its primarliy a Jewish food.Ok,good.I like jewishesque foods.this one was not for us.Even after it had been baking for an hour the potatos Id shredded my self were not done and bland was the word.i even added some sour cream,bacon,and a can fo cream of chicken decideding to just make hash brown casserole.it was such a mess.So it got me thinking.Are our palates hard wired to like what our ancestors of yesteryear gave us?Part of me thinks so.I love cabbage and potatos.thanks to my irish roots.I lovoe a cup of hot tea,with lemon,and scones.thanks to the English roots.Nad yes,I even like deer meat too.Thanks to those native ones.But ont he other hand I can plow through a plate of lasange and at one point could snarf a whole medium pizza.I like smelly french cheese,and baguets.But those are not comfort foods to me.Taters,and cabbage,and turnip greens are.Gotta have my Southern fare.to my knowledge theres mainly Irish,Scottish,British,and Native in me.No Jewish,or mid European,or French.I totally appreciate other foods.Like local stuff.Aka Fish tacos,and chesse steak sandwiches.But those arent comfort foods.Give me a meat loaf,or potroast with taters,carrots,and onion any day.Or dressing,not stove top stuffing.or a tomato sandwich or pimento cheese,or anything with pork and Im good.I think maybe it goes back tot eh Nature vs Nurture theory from Phychology.If a person born in China moves to the Southern States after birth,and never eat chinnese food,would they like it?Just a thought......

Back to my Domestic Godess Quest

So after a month of working,Ive returned to my home.Thank the good Lord for that too.I enjoyed working,but right now my family needs me more than an almost laughable paycheck.Neil and I crunched numbers till we were blue int he face,wiehging day care,and gas cost for me to actually go to a "real job".SO its back to cleaning,and laundry,and baby full time for me.I plan to take this time and ifnish my English degree so by the time im 30 I can corrupt tomorrows leaders with my politics.I havent been in much of a mood to be humerous and honestly theres been a buncha drama not worth mentioning.I will however say my MeMaw is sick,and has been in and out of the hospital and its taken a toll on my nerves.So being funny when life has not been is hard to do.Oh there have been some laughs,to be sure,but right now thoser have been few and far.I have tried to appreciate my Memaw,{daddys Mama},but now after almost for real loosing her,its put more things into perpesctive.Like my faith in God.Now,I will find us a church home and try to get somewhat active in that.He has given me her back and I ,like the rest of my family,immediate and not immedaite are very grateful for that.SHe is alot of the glue for my extended family.There are gatherings at her house on all the holidays and this year it wont be so.Shes just too sick to do it.Ive volunteered to cook at Thanksgiving,but if Neil has to wrok,my place is here.I will be torn if I have to make that choice.But he will understand if I load up the kiddos and head south.It will work out.This morning Ive googled how to make homeade furniture polish and will be using said recipe on my kitchen table later today.Im going ot be doing a fall clean out on my house.yay!I survied flying with Levi to Cali,and the trip waas great.But when i got off the plane,i got the call from Daddy telling me about Memaw.Kinda wiped it away for a while.the boys had fun playing toghether and Im so proud of my brohter nad his wife.and Id move to San Diego in a minute!thats all for now.

Our Departure is at Hand

This weekend will not be one of rest for the weary around here.Its laundry and dishes and cooking for a few days,oh my!Ive started the laundry and actually did un and load the dw yesterday am.but theres still more to do.When I went to Philly I left the house trashed,and at Neils request,I will not do it this time.So as of now Ive drained a pot of coffee,but I still wanna curl up with a book.So Im writting instead.I will be wearing things to wrok,I wont be taking to Cali,and if I do it will be on Monday and tuesday.I thought Id have much more time to get my shit together.I really thought during my interview that thed tell me,thanks,nice to meet you and thats it.But No,I got a job.Im really liking it too.I tend to put that size 11 in my mouth alot though.Im chalking it up to being around nothing but kids for 2 years.Ill iron it out.I think Ill have to start over when I return.Levi may or may not match this week at Sams,but I dont care,even if she does,lol.Ive gotta pack mine and his stuff both in one suitcase and keep it under 50lbs.Fortuantly I traveld sorta light when I went to Philly,so I can do this.I HOPE.I bought a small stroller at a yard sale last weekend.Im thinking of putting Levi in it,putting some crap in my suitcase,hauling my back pack,and ugly ass thing Im carrying for a purse and wlaking up the street.Im sure Ill get some looks from the neighbors,But Ive gotta practice.I ahve semi nosy neighbors up one section of the street,but down the ohter,there aint no houses,so Ill embarass myself down that way.Im in training dangit.Im renting a car seat from Fox.it would cost 50 to fly it,on top of luggin it through the airport,alone,so Im spending 7 bucks a day and renting.Fox rental cars has gone down to 9ish a day ont he intermediate car,so Im getting a good deal on that.Thankfully brother and fam have a washer and dryer,so maybe I wont have to come home wiht a ton of dirty laundry.And nephew wears some of the same sizes as Levi,so Ive been told I may borrow whatever I need to.Becky siad Id need a bigger purse,so I bought a bag that lloks like a laptop toter to sfuce as a purse.under normal circumstances I wouldnt be caught dead totoing such an ugly bag,but I need more room to tote all my crap for the baby for the plane ride.on the test of how much crap fits into a back pack I learned it aint much!Becky,who up untiol a few minutes ago thougth everyone was pissed at her,is happy I took her advice.I tried to channel her and her boss Amanda whom she says totes these huge beach bags things as "purse".Anyway,Now I hope I have enought room for all my on board stuff.I need food,clothes,and extra shirt for me,case he hurls,and diapers,wipes,toys,portable dvd player,magnadoodle,cup,bottle of water,some bynadryl,ID for both of us,wallet,insurance card,tickets,baording pass,and the list goes on and on.........I hope I dont forget anything,but heck I dont even know what I need to really take!!!!there aint no check list .....

A Period of Adjustment.

So right at a week on the job and i need a vacation,but wait,Im taking one!There has been so much to learn.Im trying to not let those blonde roots show too much.Having never worked in a finacail institution before,its a whole new world for me.I stand there to wait on members and my brain goes totally blank.Can they see the bog question mark above my head I wonder.Sometimes yes.I got a bit teary eyed yesterday b/c Levi is having such a hard time right now with Mommy gone.Hes in good hands,,I know,but they arent mine.Sam siad he cried all day yesterday.the only thing that amused him was Dora the Explorer.And though she didnt mind Dora in moderation,4 hours of Dora yesterday grated on her nerves,who can blame her?I told her I was having just a hard of time too.I cried when I picked him up.Its diffrent with Jake,b/c hes older and is in school.He does his homework when he gets there and plays with her son,and any other child that comes by.Levi not so much.Sam has a daughter that is 6 weeks older than him,so he has a buddy.But still.When we get home he just wnats to be held and is a tyrant!He wants me,then he wants Neil,then he wants me.He does not want to be out of our sights!I feel so bad for the lil guy,whos had me 24/7 since birth.I worked a few weeks last year,but he was so tiny,all he wanted was to be held and changed and a bottle.Now,its difffrent for him too.He KNOWs im not there.God I hate it for my baby.But I also am feeling good about working too.Its like a catch 22.I need to work finacailly right now.No way around that.With the economy,things keep getting mroe expensive and Neils stress keeps going up tp be a good provider.My hosue looks like hurriacane Ike came through.Ive gotten up early to load the dishwasher.theres still a few celan dishes,but its looking bad around here.I'll get into the swing of things.I hope.Neil does not expect me to do everything anymore thank goodness.Hes been cooking dinner and stuff,so hes a big help.And we even had nekkid time last night.Makes twice in one week!that dont happen around here too much!lol.But shortly afterwards,at 9 pm I passed out cold.Im so drained at the end of the day.Not that the job is labor intesnsive,but my brain is in overload.My Pcp is changing my meds agoan too.I cant do Paxil anymore.Made me freak out.So today Im headed to Walmart on my lunhc break to get another 4.00 generic of Celexa.2 of my friends take it.So we shall see how that one works for me.I know things will settle down once I get into a routine.right now im just not in one.Im not leaving my house this weekend.we will eat what we've got!Ife gotta scrub and scrub some more and attmept to start packing.Here I was thinking Id have all this time,a month,to sit on pins and needles before our trip.not so much anymore.Ive gotta work till 4:30 ,aka 5 everyday next week.I swear tursday night im gonna want to go to bed at 7 their time,and Im sure ill get lauhged at,but i wont care.Im hoping to have everything just baout ready to go,on sunday night,save for a few clothes for Levi and me.God is in control,and thats what I have to remeber!

I have a new Mantra

Yesterday my friend,Becky,and I went shopping for clothes.Becky and I wear about the same size,but are diffrent shapes and heights.I am a few inches taller than she.I have a big Ole booty too.Its like a shelf where my hips are!She on on the other had has more in her love tank and chest area.We hit 2 stores.Cato and Maurices.Did you shopping will totally wear you down?We each had money,time,and at some point motivation!we hit Cato first.I knew they had cute shirts,as I had just bought one in the one where we live.{she and I met in the middle,since she lives in Memphis,and I left the kids with the inlaws}.when you walk in to the left is WOmens sizes nas the right is Misses sizes.She went left and i went right on some bizzare divide and conquer mission.I told her save for maybe pants,I had not yet progresses to Womens sizes.I have a normal size chest and a bit of a gut,but I can still wear XL on the misses sizes.Both of us ever th bargain shoppers hit the center clearnace racks with a vengence.I knew I didnt need too many shirts,but a few new ones would be nice.Between the 2 of us out of that first batch,there was 1 for her and one for me.It looked like a torando hit the dressing room,which we shared so we didnt have to flaunt our fat to unsuspecting size 1 jrs.who wants to do that,come on.After both of us giving up on the clearnace racks we hit the regular prices.I kept getting drawn to purple yesterday,I dunno know why and Becky towards a pumpkin color.The purlpe is ok on me,but pumpkin on her aint happening.Bad as we hated it too cuz there were some cute shirts!Made her look yellow.So I found one purple one that would suit,and we hit pants.We hit pants on the opposite side of the store.Im tall and wide.I have long legs,Becky does not.She has shorter legsWe tried on a few pair,one in "my SIze dammit".But alas that was not the case.It was then and there we decided SIZE does not matter.Its how it fits and feels.In my size you could see every bit of hail damage on my ample cheeks.And Becky in her size was doing the fat woman wiggle to button.{yes,theres were the same sizes,mine just in talls.}.We left the Cato with a path of 30 shirts in our wake and 5 pairs of pants that went back to the racks.Both ever concious of fuleing our volumptious figures,we decided it was lunch time.I needed a drink and quick!THank goodness here there is a Mexican place on every corner with Margaritas.It was over them that our new mantra began to devlop.Becky has had the gastric bypass surgery and to me still looks great comapred to the before pictures.But with some things that have happend to her recently,shes gained some weight back.She still looks wonderful though!Me on the other hand its a combo of protecting my butt by eating crap to expand it!I had a baby and am still claiming baby weight,but she knows the truth,lol!Its sitting at home and eating.The whole purpose of the shopping extravaganza was to get new bankers clothes,lol.After downing one Maragrita,I hadnt yet sloshed myself enough fortitude to try on pants.So I ordered another.I got an eye brow from her on that one,she knows I dont drink much!I just couldnt take it!I am having a hard enough time figuring out this new world im in,much less the new body I have.I wont say its new and improved,it just takes up more space!So I digress,the new mantra.iYeah,it came about to be ,It dont matter what size it is,its how it fits.How it feels and honestly how it hides the hail damage!For her,she needs those instanlty slimmin in the belly.I told her if they had jeans that instanly took off 50 lbs Id spend my last dollar for them!She agreed!So we leave the Mexican place and Im full on buzzing.We pull into the store,5 doors down,but we drove,yes we drove!There was s sign int he window of Maurices that said sizes 1-24.Something about that sign made Becky snap a bit! I was hazy at that point ,but she said something to the effect of who freaking wears a size 1.I told her folks with no kids,husbands or lives!I had to give our war battle scars SOMETHiNG of validation!We earned our size,dammit!Life put it on us! SO we go draggin in and a sales person asks us if we need help.I told her we needed more help than she could ever give,and I had to get drunk to buy pants!Could she point us towards the big ass pants please.We tried on a bunch of pairs,in MY SIZE please.WRONG.On us our sizes werent even going past our hips.Beckys got ample ones too.MIne are just bigger,lol.The fat woman wiggle wasnt even working on them.So I went up 4 sizes.I mean fits!Finally,we found 2 pairs of work pants that fit me.No sizes remember.they are fitted right and i can eat lunch and still breath.She has a hard time finding jeans that fit her.She was telling me about the color Nazi at Avenue one time.THe clerk mearured her and informed hershe was a yellow.They yellows howver didnt fit her,adn she wanted a diffrent style.BUT,the clerk argued,I measured you and yorue a yellow.BUT I AM NOT,she siad Id like a diffrent color.Beckys dear hubby went and got her a pair in every color!SHe didnt leave there with jeans.Our clerk at Maurices was more than helpful.Becky finally found a pair of jeans that fit her! We then hit the clearance rack.We didnt take any chances starting htere this time.HTe lunch pow wow changed our tactics a bit.So we each found a pair of jeans that fit,adn were on SALE too! Funny how that happens!THe moral of the story is...Go shopping with a close buddy you dont mid seeing her hail damage if she dont mind seeing yours,Forget sizes!jsut forget them,every store is diffretn,even MEcca aka Walmart,and have fun.B do remeber,sometimes a little Jose helps.
NEw Mantra: ITS NOT THE SIZE THAT MATTERS,ITS HOW IT FITS AND FEELS!and it should feel good on your body and flatter you too!

A SAHM no more!

From the title you can read I am a Stay at home mom no more.I am now a credit union employee.My status is considered part time,but there will be times when its normal hours.I will be going in every day,just not all day once I am done with training.It has been a hell of a week to say the least.The interview was on Monday,and she called me Tuesday and I started thursday.And since then Panalerium has ensused at my house.When it was just Jake and Me it was easier getting it together.Now with 2 more members in my family,not so much.I will have to get used to it.In this economy of ours every little bit will help.{I hope}.But it was just 2 days this week,so we shall see,lol.The coworkers are all "nice".I brought jam to bribe them on the first day,and no one got food poisioning.It is an all female envioronment.I had to sign a praivacy thing,so I will not be using any names of either members or co workers or get too specsific about their lives.I dont feel I have that right.And its kinda like the Drs office.Balances are said in hushed tones,and ppl are not talked about once they leave.I guess that makes me feel good to know that there IS discression in the credit union world and it is taken very seriously!The coworkers...Ahhh,I miss Meme! She is my soul sister and she got me!My new ones Im sure thing Im from some other planet.I adore Neil,I like sushi,and I drink community coffee.To some those are forgein words! It is a small establishment,very home town,and i like that! they know the members,and since I was used to knowing my customers when i sold phones,i like the customer service aspect of it.Its been very nice to be in adult comapany.My tainer,Ill call her teller 1,is a whiz! She can almost anticipate what they need before they ask,I hope I can be like that,one day.then teller 2,is someone I feel like i have to big sister to.Shes ten years older than me,but is sheltered.Those are her own words,.I guess I shall find out more,later.Shes a critter Mama,and from what Ive heard her say,shes good at it too.Then theres teller 3.SHes jazzy.Shes my mamas age,and dresses well,has the bleached hair,and red nails.My kinda lady!She also has great taste in shoes,and purses.So do I!then theres Boss Lady and 2nd Boss lady.Very nice women!But I d knwo from expericnec from working with women that they can be bitchy.I can be that way too,though.lol.Teller 1,is my trainer.Its been nuts the last 2 days,so not much actual training has been done,but lots of observing and smiles,of I will be able to help you soon,but not just yet.One of her offspring comes in to file and she seems like a great kid.And to teller 1,she and her other offspirng are her world.Nothing wrong with that,if you ask me.I feel the same way.I dont know really how much theyve traveled,or food allergies,but I hope to learn.They know Im going to Cali and how excited I am about that.{rental car is down to 11,97 a day,wha hoo!}.So Im sure it will get even more intersting as time goes on.Teller 2 is on a quest to loose weight,so Ill be encoruaging.Wouldnt hurt if I lost 50 or so either!lol.They do like Crystal Lite,adn some like coffee.I think they are all great at customer service and I think I can learn alot.I neglected to inform during my interveiew that I was nuts and horrible with numbers! Ihope I can keep em fooled for abit longer,lol.FIL who also works at a credit union said theyd need never know either b/c theres adding machines.But the crazy I need to keep under wraps for a while,lol.My SIL also wrks at a union,so I hope she can help too!Ive joined the new clans business and I hope it works out for both me and my family and them too.We shall see.

When Mama is sick,Everybody Suffers!

So, I have succumbed to the fallish sinus itis.Ive also got an ear infection,and now I find out yesterday Ive got an infected lymphnode from dental work i had done 6 months ago!Im all jacked up,but noit in a way Gretchen WIlson would be proud of!
It all started last week with Levi being in a bad mood and a bit snotty.I dont know if Ive written about my aversion to snot and other things you hack up,but UUUUHHHHH,I cant stand it.Bring on blood,vomit,and diahreeah anyday.Cant stand snot.He started leaking like a faucet,adn when the leaking truend green,I took him to the Dr.Hes prone to ear infections,as we learned last winter,so I didnt want to take any chances.So alas,he did have the beginnings of one,and thankfully only in one ear.SO a round of antibiotics it is,and hes feeling much better.
ME,not so much.I started the drips too and since I need a check up for my crazy pills anyway,I hit the dr with a full on assault.I love my pcp,shes very concerend about her paitents,and their families.So I blew in there,pun totally intentded with;Ive got a yeast infection,a sinus infection,my lexapro aint doing its job and the GERD is not letting me sleep at night,despite 2 prilosec otc's I take a day.Fix me please Doc! So she did! I left there with blood drawn to ck on the stomach issue,a Zpack,calrniex,and paxil.Off to Walmart I went.We have shitting drug coverage,but Walmart has 4.00 generics.it really saved me!
Then later that day I had to take Jake to the dentist.he and neil see the same one,but ive been seeing someone diffrent.Jake had no cavities yet again!im so happy!My baby got the sperm donors teeth and not mine!i come from a long line of fillings,partials,and in Mama's case,a full set of porcelin at age 44.SO I made myself an apt with them b/c htey are so great with Jake.Oh the regret!Not on their part,but on mine!I got my dear Mama's teeth,as did my brother too.Hes got a gerogus set of veneers.Wish I did.SO yesterday I went,thanks to Sam,sans Levi.I had the xrays and I thinkt he dentist eyes lit up when he saw them.dollar signs were dancing above his head!Ic ould tell.THe hygentist,Susan,was great.She told me I had a mouth full of holes..But on a psotive note,I have good connection with my gums,so my teeth arent going to fall out,theyre just gonna rot away.I grew up on non flourideated well water.Nothing against my country upbringing,but well water is BAD for your teeth.So I learned I need 4 root canals,a crown and various fillings.Stuff I alredy knew but had been avoiding!like ive siad Im poor and we have crappy dental insurance save for the 2 free cleanings a year.I had had some work done back in Feb shortly before flying to Philly.DONT DO IT.dont have dental work done before you fly.You will have massive headaches the entire trip.So,I left there with another haul of meds.Back to Walmart I went with darvocet,antibiotics,diflucan,and valium.The valium is for the day I have 2 root canals done at the same time.Neil gets to take me.Hes seen me give birth and thats all well and good.but I was not scard to do that.THe dentist,is a totally other story.I had a traumatic expericne as a child when I told the dentist the tooth he was getting ready to pull still hurt.He told me just to lay there and relax and basically be quiet.Still give me freaking nightmares!So he ripped it out and I screamed.My Mama came rushing in cuz she herd me hollering.I had to have oral surgery to get the rest of the rotten ones out.And even as an adult when the same dentist became my wireless customer I was a bitch to him.I never for got that.So now I have a great new dentist who belives in stuff like pain meds,and valium.Ive never taken it before,but I cant wait to try it.The work will Not be done until Levi and I return form Cali,as in 2 days afterwards.They wanted to do it before,but I got VERY vehement that they werent going to ruin my good time,and Id just take the darvocet with me incase I started hurting on board.Then theres the 6 valium pills too.Bring it on Levi on the plane.Ive got bynadryl for him and now Ive got semi sedation for me!

Explaining 9/11 to my 7 year old

This is an actual serious blog.Last night Jake told me he could hear the TV in the Lr and wantd to know what I was watching.It happend to be a show about 9/11 widows.It showed stories about how the women spent their widow money,showed domestic parteners being left out,and it showed the 2nd plane hitting the tower.Jake saw that,and asked where it had happend.I told him it happend in New York City,and those 2 were not the only planes.That there were 2 more.All crahsed,all dead on board.and others in the buildings they hit.Including firefighters,police,and kids.I wasnt quite sure where to go from there,but then he asked Why.I told him there were ppl out there who hated America and our way of life.He wanted to know how theyd gotten the planes to crash.I told him they learned how to fly and over took the pilot.The fear in his innocent eyes was as real as mine was in the days after 9/11.I was going to EMT school at the time,and that day during class we were glued to the TV and hugged and cried for our fallen brothers.Not only the EMS workers,but simply fellow Americans.He asked HOW could such a thing have happend here?Its a question Ive asked myself over the years since then.How?I explained to him that we live in a great Nation,where freedom rings.That we get more priveleges than any other country in the world,and we are the BEST!Best at everything!We are the best b/c we are free.I think he was even more concerned about Levi and my up coming plane ride to Cali.I told him Id flown 2 diffrent times since I'd been his Mommy and im still hear.I told him thats how come all the securtity was so tight and it took a long time at the airport.And that Id come back home twice and Id come home a 3rd time.I dont know,that if I dont return,that he will ever forgive me for intentionaly lying to him.I felt at that point my job as Mama was to reasure him.I told him there were brave men and women who died that day,including those on flight 93.That thye gave their lives so we could still drive to Ms with out about a bunch of legal paperwork.I told him he'd understand it a bit more when he was older.I told him there were bad ppl in the world who didnt like our way of life.I told him that he was so blessed to live in America.I hope to instill a love of country in my children.I come from a long line of military servants.Who did their duty proud ad with honor,and I hope he does the same.I may be raising the next soildiers who put flags on the top of Mountains,despite the battle not being over.Or men that will rush into buring buildings,to help ppl with out a thought of their own safety.The men and women,military,ems,and civialians alike who gave us our freedom that day are all heros.As are the men and women who continue to serve our great nation,no matter their capacity.I eventulaly had to end our conversation b/c it was getting past his bed time.But I hope I will continue to instill love of God,family and country in my children.I think I started the love of country last night.Or planted more seeds that have already been sewn.I think we do live in a great land.Aside from voting,my favorite freedom is being able to get in my car with a full tank and take off to wherever I want to go.And the only thing I need is a map,or even just my TN driver Lisence.After the trip to Philly I appreicated the Revolution even more.Being born in Vicksburg,deep in Confederate history,I have a love of my home state too.those men who fought for the south fought for what they believed was right.As did the ones from the North.I hope America never goes through that again.That we can co exist despite our diffrent veiws.Thats what we're founded on.Thats what makes us so great.I hope God will continue to bless America,and we never forget just the price that was paid for it.

Sometimes the road less traveled gets you lost!

There could be other titles for this blog too including...
Spontaneaous travel with 2 kids...not a good idea.
Thank Heaven for good friends...
Hard to tell a 7 year old,No you cant go see your Memaw you havent seen in 2 months even though we're a scant 30 minutes from her.
That is how it happend Friday.
The kids were out of school for Fair Day.and I decied it would be a good time to take my offspring to see Poppy at the bank 2 hrs away and have lunch with him,though there were a million other,cheaper things to do.Like dishes,laundry,....But really who wants to do that?
SO I loaded up the SUV got some gas and off we went.Its raining too btw,still remnats of Gustav!So we stopped at Wendys and got Poppy a man size lunch and went to see him.THe visit was nice,the oohs and Ahhs from his 99% female co workers,were wonderful.Then I took that first wrong left turn and we were suddenly in Dowtown Memphis.At this point I probably should have truned the way I knew to go home,but No,I didnt.The exact words from the back seat and Jakes little mouth were,"YOu know Mom,we're only 20 minutes from Southaven.I havent seen my Memaw in months and months."
How can you say no to a request like that.He doesnt get the gimme's too much.Sure there the latest Hannah Montana book or magazine he HAS to have,but other than that hes great!
So I made a phone call to the EX-MIL and off we went.SHe and I have a good freindship.SHes glad that Neil is there for Jake.ANyway,SO I met her in SOuthaven for a drop off a few hrs to see her only grandson.Then I called Mel and said to Get up,We're going to Target.SHes an old High school friend and we've gotten very close lately.We missed almost 10 years of each otehrs lives,but picked up right where we left off.I just love her very much,her husbnad and son are GREAT too.Theyre family to me and mine.SO I picked her up and off we went to the "new" Target.Ive said before my home town aint what it used to be,and neither is the whole county I come from.While walking around,I got that phone call from Neil asking where I was.I simply replied,that I was walking around Target with Melanie.It took him a minute to realize what Id said thorugh his sleepy head.I told him I was in MS.I explained the who Jakes need to see his Memaw.He understood,the man is a siant,I swear.I told him Mel said I could sleep on their futon,and was it ok if we stayed.SURE he said.Neil and I respect each others right to be alone at times and I was thinking he needed some.Well then on the way back to her house I changed my mind,called Neil and siad we were coming home.His words hurt.."I was kinda hoping you'd stay down there..."Tears welled up!I took it personally,so I yelled at him,"Well FINE THEN".and hung up.Mel was suprised as I was,due to his calm manner and sweet,albeit grumpy at times demeanor.So I went to Dinner with them.Neil called and asked if I was mad.Nope,Just hurt my feelings I said.and that I understood he needed alone time and we'd be staying with Mel.
So yesterday on the way home I Google mapped a diffrent way to come home.One that hoepfully was shorter and faster.Andy,Mels husband told me to go the way we all always did.UH NO,I was going this new way to try it out nad if it was shorter and faster,it would be the way I went to them from now on.Didint someone once say All roads lead home.They didnt say that those roads were windy and new.ANd my favorite Poem is..The road Not Taken,by Robert Frost.Its been an insperation to me.Well not yesterday!I took the road less traveld and got lost in Brownsville,Tn.SOme nice firefighter named JR told me I couldn get to the road I need from there.I looked my savior in the eye and said Bull SHit,If I can get home from Louisville,KY with no map,I can get home!lol.He laughed and was even more willing to get this lost Phycho traveling Mom out of his firehouse.So off I went on another way towards a town Im familiar with,that jsut happens to be on the old way home.SOme how I took a right turn in the Ghetto!I was lloking at ppl walking down the street in no bras with shirts on that said MO MONEY taxes on them.Finally I saw one of Ripleys finest and asked him to help me home.We knew some of the same ppl,and after he was a bit of an ass,he was throughly amused at my plight.He told me how to get back to the hyway and off we went.After a phone call to Tido,the ppl me and Ripleys finest knew,I had him howling!Cussing the road system in West TN and all that.After I told him the long sorid tale of taking the first left turn,I told him to try living with me!He howled even more and helped me more.He told me the road I was on would take me closer to the hwy I needed to turn off of and get my butt back home.Finally after almost 3 hrs and no more miles save 6 that google maps said it would take I pulled into the driveway at our HOME.Finally!The kids were tired,I was tired and Neil was thoughly hung over from his Daddy time!So we ate TV dinners and frozen Pizza for supper and I went to bed!I didnt mention that I had run out of diapers,that purpose of the Target run,and I had to buy Jake a change of clothes.We got home and I showered first thing,to get the roads not taken off of me.I love to hop in the car,but Dang,I feel Im too old for this stuff!Next time when I plan to make a day of it,I will have a tooth brush and change of drawers in tow and a box of diapers!I am glad though that I needed food,shleter,and bed for me and mine and I was provided it!

Going Back to California!

Ok,So I recieved a wonderful early Christmas gift on my birthday none the less.An unnamed benefactor took pitty on our poor asses and gracously bought me a plane ticket to go see my brother and his family in southern Cali.Ive been down in the dumps that I have a newphew Ive never met before.And a wonderful sister in law Ive only gotten to spend a few hours with,and a brother any sister would want!Grwoing up we tried to kill each other a time or two,but who didnt.he took off out there,mad at the world and the most wonderfult hing happend to him.He fell in love.in fact we share the same anniversary,same year and everything.Feb 1 is a great day to get married.My whole family has been out there since the nephews arrival last July but me and mine.We're poor,like Ive said,and it just has not been possible.Neil gave me the choice to go to Philly or Cali,and since Cali was twice as expensive I chose Philly.Then I found a cheap ticket and wha la,a benefactor agreed to buy the ticket!So OMG Levi and I are going to Cali.Ive never flown wiht either of my kids before.Jake has been a lot of places,Houston,Iowa,Tampa to name a few,but ewe've always been in a car.Made for some long road trips,but hes good about that.Levi on the other hand gets antsy.Taking advantage of they fly in your lap for free until 2,I decided to take him with me.Jake had a chance to go,but decied he wanted to stay home with Neil and do man things.He put it to me like this,I get to spend time with him,and he dont.So Jake is really looking forward to a weekend of beenie weanies,frozen pizza,hunting and farting.I however am not looking forward to airports and plane rides with a child who is busy!Ive googled traveling with a 16 mnth old,and theres mixed results.Some say its wonderful,if they sleep,others are more blunt and say it will be hell.Ive gotten advice from my myspace friends who have been more realitic and from experience.They say head phones and gummy things are great,but waiting is not.Assent ans decent is not fun either.So the pacifier,we call it a sucker,is not going until after we return home.The ped. office said no to dramamine but yes to bynadryl.So its not cruel and unusal punsihment.THe dr office and other moms have said to test the bynadryl before hand to make sure it wont hype him up.I did that at 4 am after 3 hrs of crying and restless ness.Its now almost 9 and hes still snoozing.So,I dont want to conk him out,jsut chill him out a bit.So Im thinking 1/2 a tsp will do the trick.Im sure hell feel my nervus vibes too.i noramlly take a xanax before hand to counter act the coffee and smokes I chained and drained on the way to the airport.Its right at a 3 hr drive to the Nashville airport and 2 1/2 to the memphis airport.But flying outta Memphis was close to 500 bucks.Out of the question.So N-ville it is.Ive done it before too when I went to Philly.HTe roads were clear during my waaay early morning ride there and this time I fly out at 8 versus 6.So I dont have to leave at 1,I can wait till 3ish.I am a very spontaneous person,kind ready to go whenever,but honestly I like to be prepared.SO this trip I will be cking to see if Fox goes down ont heir compact car rates,I opted for a compact versu econo to be sure I got 4 doors for the 2 hr drive east.I cant wait to go back to the beach where the feet pics all began and take more,and see Levi in the sand,albeit a brief trip to the beach,Ill be anxious to get to the dessert to meet my nephew!I just ciant wait! THeres a 2 hr layover in houston,adn so Levi acan run his little heart out up and down the terminal until we board for the 3 plus hr flight to San Deigo.Jake is not jealus at all,esp when I told him hed been alot more places than Levi,just not on a plane.SOme of those raod trips I wish we'd flown!Im so excited and will be googling even more as our early Oct departure date nears!!!!

Birthday Complex

Ok,So I have a birthday complex.I always have.SO I know it should be a day to celebrate my arrival into this big bad world,but to me its not.My Mama said Ive always been like this.There are pictures of my screaming and crying at birthday parties and what not.Its always a depressiing time for me.Dont get me wrong Ive had some great ones,ten,14,21 and 25 are great ones I remeber.This year,Monday,I even get a freaking National Holiday.Brings whole new meaning to the words Labor Day,dontcha think?Ive had some not quite so fond memories too.When I turned 16 Princess Diana died.Freaking died.When I turned 24 my friends threw a small supisre party for me where everything was pink.At that time I detested the color,Im still working on that complex.Others have been great.25 found me shaking my butt on the bar at Coyote Ugly and being all fine and skinny for me.Then shortly after I found out I was getting Levi.Talk about being 25 forever.Thats when I knew Neil was the one too.He cleaned up my puke.Not jsut a few drops,But I hurled all the way from downtown Memphis,all over the side of his dads Tahoe.Bad,very bad.My Mama always made me my favorites.Like chicken divan,asparagus casserole,and banana split cake.I dont know what my deal is.Im always down for a few days before hand,day of I sob and after Im better.Like an emotional purge or something of the sorts.

Southern Proud

I am a southern woman.No,I am not a lady,yet.Maybe I'll never be.The Southern way of life is a world to its own.As is life in Cali,and the North.Ive traveled far and wide in this wonderful country of ours and met some wonderful people.They all are hospitable,and maybe feel a bit sorry for me,when I bust out with Im frum Missippi.I traveled to Cali,via Minneapolis.My friend told me to wear flip flops on the plane and a denim Jacket would suffice.Ok,fine I thought.I had only a 30 minute layover on the trip out there.The pilot came on and said it was 22 degrees and sunny.HOLY SHIt,thats cold to me.But apparently to the locals it was a warm day in Feb.I stepped outside the airport to smoke before my 4 hr flight to Sunny Ca and froze.You hear me?I froze!I called said friend and cussed her for her rediculus idea that flip flops in Minnesota in Feb was a good idea!On the way home I dreesed for success.I had on 2 shirts,tennis shoes and my Carhardt coat.This time I had a 4 hr layover and decided to take the train to the Mall of America.I stood shivering in the line at a pizza place and the man behind the counter with a thick Italian accent asked me if I was ok.NAW,I said Im freezin'.He asked me where I was from,Ms,I told him.The man gave me a side of unasked for,but welcomed,pasta to warm me up.He told me if I was ever up North again to look him up.That random act of kindness I shant forget.Down here in Dixie our blood is thin! Very Thin,so we can withstand hot summer days,where you can see the humity rising up on a July morning.In 99 in my 65 day Army stint,in SC,there were folks passing out from the heat.I didnt understand,to me this was lovely weather! I guess you adapt.We recently helped Mama move and she had hired a guy from CO to help.He and his wife had just moved to Ky so she could get her Masters.We got to talking about food,my fav subject,and I mentioned turnip greens.He looked confused and said he ate turnips.Neil alughed hardily at him,and siad you're eating the wrong part,you eat the greens and leave the trunips for the deer.In Philly in a great lil Italian deli,I got a marriage proposal.Based on my accent alone.Not b/c of my jet lagged,no sleep or made up looks.I told him my husband might not appreciate it.lol.But he was very nice and seemed to be facinated with my country ass.We do things diffrent down here.We drink sweet tea.In Iowa,I asked the waitress for a glass of sweet tea.SHe brought us a glass with a spoon in it and pointed towards the sugar.Down here you can buy large tea bags at any grocery and most convient stores year round.Not in Philly in March you caint.We looked.But I will say this for Yankee Mama who gracuoisly opened her home to me,the woman can make a better pork loin than ANYONE.Southern or not!like I said I go where the lodging is free,and I have friends all over the country.I made them Yankee's pimento Cheese and Granny tore it up!I'm proud of that.I think we can all learn from each other with just a bit of open mind.We all do things diffrently,but most of the time towards the same goal,survival.The SOuth is very Clanish,thanks to our deep Scottish roots.We're warriors,we're arrogant about our way of life and most wouldnt have it any other way.Yesterday on the way back home after picking up Sams daughter from School I saw a beautiful sight.There was a HUGE rebel flag flying in the breeze.Its near an old cemetary,that I didnt have time to peek at,but its georgus.Right there in the middle of a bean feild is an ode to heritage.I pulled up and men were working on building a cuopla on the top a gazebo that serves as a memorial.We got to talking,Its on private property,but there have been compalints about it.I have no compalints,b/c Im educated about our histroy.To me it is not a symbol of oppresion and slavery.But a symbol for those men who wanted independance much like our fellow Americans against king george.Not saying Linclon was a tyrant by any means,but jsut that we all have our history.In Texas they have been under numerus flags,including the Confederate.They now have just a lone star.A symbol of independance.I voted in Ms to keep the confederate flag on the state flag.Not b/c Im racist,but b/c Im proud of my heritage.I love everyone,as a Chirstian should.My point is,there are wonderful folks on this great America,and maybe we just need to be a bit more open to accepting that!

THe Gravatational Pull between a Woman and a Man.

The great cowboy poet/singer Chris LeDoux sang,"Aint't nothing better,baby,aint nothing worse.Study after study nobody understands the gravatational pull between a woman and a man".That bout sums it up.Nobody flat understands this need for the opposite sex.Some say its concertated by God in the garden of Eden.True,but Adam and Eve only got to pick each other.There are thousands od lonely hearts out there.I met Neil on Eharmony.com.He was my first match,and we just went for it.The more our communcation got on the site,I found out hed been in band in high school.BAND,for cryin out loud!I may have been a geek,but not a band geek.I almost quit talking to him after that.Snobby I know.But I hadnt heard his voice yet,nor seen his pitcure.SOme say looks dont matter.BUll.THey do.But the man of your lucid dreams dont look like George Clooney neither.I was like a lot of women,kinda looking for a husband.No matter the tough facade,I wanted happily ever after dammit.Yeah,I was self sufficent,but something was missing.That friendship that your girls cant provide,b/c youre not sleeping with them lol.That intamacy.Well,as a couple of weeks progreesed Neil and I talked on the phone and OMG.He has the sexiest voice ever!And I had seen his picture too.Not too shabby there either.I was more atracted to him after he became one of many ppl they matched me with 29 demenions of compatability.We met in a parking garage in downtown Memphis.Not the most ideal setting for the love of my life to walk in,but he did.We met for our first date,and both ordered the same thing to eat,lol.I was 24 and waaay past,"i'll just have a salad,thanks."Im a big girl,so I like food,inlcuding messy ruben sandwiches from a pub.There was great chemistry from the start.Our first date found us holding hands,making out in the rain,and him telling his buddy I was hot.Its been up hill ever since.Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we are living the dream.That dream meaning 2 kids,mortagage and living an hour from his nearest realative.I had resigned my self to never meeting my country boy with brains.A freind told me Id be a long time searching for him.Wrong.I'd just been looking in the wrong places.Brings to mind another country song....By Don Williams...We have a friendship with depht Ive never had with a man.a few feamles,yes,but never a man.He loves me,and I love him.Pure and simple.Yeah,we swqaubble someitmes.But honestly,who hasn't looked at their husband and thought,I hope you go first,lol.He cuts the yard,adn I wash his drawers.He makes the money and I try to spend it in a way that benefits our family.{him too}We have tons in common and tons of diffrences.It gives us stuff to talk about,and stuff we can learn from each other.THere is a strong pull between us and it just gets better as time moseys along.

Purple thums and a stinky house...

Why might I have purple thums and a stinky house,you may be wondering?Its all my mother in laws {MIL} fault.ANd Samantha's...
The other night I cooked a bag of frozen purple hull peas with supper.For you non pea eaters,youre missing out.This small beady pea is divine!The ones I had in the freezer were already,grown,hulled,blanched,bagged and frozen.they came from Sam via her MIL.Man they were good.Levi and I tore them up.Neil and Jake ate their normal portions.I added a bit of smoked hawg jowl and salt and let em rip.mmmmm.
So,yesterday,while visiting the Grands {neils grandpartnes,I've shortend their names},my MIL and FIL met us there to see the boys.{neil was sleeping}.I commented to her about the peas i had cooked the night before and asked her if she had anymore in the garden.SHe has a HUGE one behind the other Grands house,across the road from them.She said there were a few,and I was wlecome to come pick them.Ok,fair enough,I thought.Free food,we'll eat!mmm.She taught me a few weeks ago how to blanch and bag,so I wasnt scared.Thinking there would be enought for a "mess".We set out for the grands.There was a ton of peas in my mind,but she informed me they had already been pretty much picked over.We got to pickin'.Its 90 degrees,finally cooling off around here,and nary a breeze for a while.I didnt care.I was on a mission to further become the ultimate domestic godess.If that ment pickin peas for my men then so be it.
After picking them,we sat down on the shady back porch to enjoy a glass of water and a smoke.I was talking to Nanny about Vicksburg.{thats where I was born,and still have various family members there}.I was telling ehr some of what I knew about the seige and about Fort Hill.And that I cant wait to share it with Neil in about 6 weeks when we head that way.We were just chattering when MIL pops up with hmmmmm.
When she says hmmmmm,aint no telling what she might say.She is one of the smarted women I know.I swear she could build a house with a tooth pick and a tarp.If she puts her mind to do it,then dangit it gets done.NOW,most of the time.She and my FIL have a neat dynamic.they are eqaul in their 30 year marriage and treat each other with the ultimate respect.I dont see them get gooshy too much,but Hell I guess when Ive been married that long,Neil will know how i feel with out too much petting.lol.They are a great team.Anyway....
HMMMMM,after much face scrinching and eyebrow lifting trying to figure out how to read the farmers almanac,she informs us that it said TODAY was the day to plant late beans.I asked her where exactly she planned to plant them,she siad we'd have to dig up the purple hulls.Theyve played out pretty much anyway....
I should have kept my mouth shut then and there and simply nodded.Like I said I have a bog mouth...So I said,Ok,lets do it.She hemed and hawed about pullin the phulls and tilling it up and finding the seeds and just what seeds....Not to be detried when I had readily avaliable ppl to babysit,I volunteered for the job.During a breif stint in the Army,I learned to not volunteer for anything.dammit if I had chosen that moment to let the pot Id smoke use those brain cells.So next thing I know,she and I are pullin up plants.Im talking 4 long rows of dense foliage.It came up rather quickly to my novice garndener suprise.Then FIL tilled.Man the boys had a ball rolling around like pigs in poo.the dirt was soooo soft and flaky like a buscuit.Levi even put his little face in it a few times.blekkkkkkk.
then it got time for us to plant.she has an effective but redneck rigged way to do this.Sher has a sting tied to 2 tomato sticks and you walk a straight line and unravel it.I told her i couldnt walk a straight line sober,but then was reminded this was MY idea.No point in arguing the truth.So I learned how to make a straight line.then came the ingenious was to dig a hole.You rake the sharp edge of the hole along the still strung line.Easy Peasy.Then you plant,2 seeds at a time a hoe witdth apart.Wha La,I am a gardener.But I tell you what,and told her too,that if I had been in the garden all summer I just might get sexy again.SHe told me she HAD been in it all summer to no avail.lol.
Then came okra and cucumber picking.I dont care for okra unless pickled { i know not southern!}.She picked it and just tossed it into a bucket.After the 3rd and final attmept to get me to take home cukes to Sam I gave in and agreed to bring them to her.Then MIL said a wonderful thing...theres enough to make a small batch of dills and I have just the stuff.Yay!It hought my own pickles.My Mama and memaw have never had any dill luck.I was determined!
So along with the [peas,I brought home cucumbers,tomato's and some squash.and some basil and dill and sage.All grown in MIL's garden.
THis morning I made my first batch of pickles ever.She had givne me a bag fo DP mix,but i noticed it was not enough.Being the Domestic godess that I am,I had all the ingrediants listed on the bag,including tumeric.Who has freaking tumeric and ground dired mustard?I DO!So I added to my recntly pickling lime soaked cukes.they were crucnhy and colorful since i had added food coloring to the soak.Into the jar they went while the mix simmered.the okra too since crystal freaking loves pickeld okra and its about the only way I eat it.I now have 11 jars sitting on my counter.They are sitting in a brine that is yellow.not gonna tell you what THat looks like,lol.
Then came the peas.I shelled about half the freds sack i have of them before Levi got too curious and I had to put them up for now.But bed time is soon.
This quest Ive been on has truly made me feel connected to my sisters of the past.They HAD to do this for their families.Im jsut trying to save a dollar.Which is about what you save per jar if you break it all down.But to me theres nothing better than homeade.Grandad like the preserves I made him too,btw.Good thing he aint go not teeth,b/c they would have for sure jerked them out.Poildent be dammed.Theres still so much to learn,and Im trying to be a willing pupil.

I am the grill Master

Ok,so being a girl has its perks.Im all for equality in gender and race and all that crap,but....There are some advantages to having a decent cup size or skinny ass.I have the decent cup size ,but my ass needs a back up warning.{or so my uncle told me when i was a child of 14,lol.}Neil has been the best husband in the world lately and i wanted to show my appreciation to him.He works nights,so on his day off I let him sleep until 6:30 pm,so he could get some rest.I hit the grocery store after picking up Jake from school.I wanted a Paula Deen esque feast for my man.What better way to do that than with Meat and taters.I got some strip steaks,and bratwurst and baking potato's and some romanine for a ceasar salad {i sooo reccomend Krafts Ceasar vinegrette.I normaly make those myself,but for ceasar,I aint smooshin anchovies,aint happening}.There were 3 bags of Kingsford on the retrashed patio and I was determined to grill for my man.I have NEVER in almost 27 years had ANY luck with a grill.Its a man job,like pumping gas and hauling out the trash.So I built my coals in the pyramid shape and doused them with the teeny bit of lighter fluid I had.We normaly have too much of that and no charcoal.go figure.I neglected to inform ya'll that the wind is blowing at hurricane force gust,even though it was a georgus and cool day round here.So I start the fire,or so I thought.I had cleaned out the grill and with Jakes watchful eyes and arms we scraped the remnats of dinners past.Got it all good,right.Wrong.The fire kept going out.I managed to hunt down another smidge ina bottle of lighter fluid and douse the charcaol yet again.When I lit it,I could have sworn My bushy brows would never grow back.It flamed up with a big whoosh that scared the shit out of me.But alas it still didnt catch.then being hte resourceful southern woman that I am,i went hunting for sticks.We southernors like hickory flavor and I just so happen to have a tree int he back yard.I knew green sticks wouldnt burn,so I dug around thru the poison ivy for dry branches.{nother prodject for a later date is buring all the dang weeds and over gorwth int he back of our yard so we can actually enjoy our mature trees that line our back ditch}.I d=found some sticks that I hoped were hickory,or at least would burna nd I tosed them in.no avail.I got them abck out and lit a dixie napkin and threw them in.and then what to my wandering eyes did appear but FLAMES.flames and the smell of burinign wood and napkin.Hell yeah! so like any grill novice I closed the grill in hopes that the fire would beigin roaring and I could grill my man his steak.uh uh.not happening.i considered the finger nail polish remover and even gas as another igniter since the hunt for more lighter fluid turned up emptyhanded.so I said screw it {notice one of my favorite sayings?}and opend the grill and resigned myslef to broiling the steaks,,which is what I had to do the first time a while back when I had this genious idea to grill for Neil.I only learn things the hard way,cant ya tell?well after I sat down and fired upa marlboro the wonderful scent of fire burned my nostrils.The fire was cathcing!So using some redneck engenuity,I laid an outdorr chair on its side to blcok the bottom of our handy half rusted out walmart grill,and turned it around so the flames were not in direct contact of the way the wind was blowing.Yall,I had fire!hosuton we have ignntion,and no other flamable fluids were needed,thank goodness cuz im thinking finger nail polish remover would mess up my whole hickory thang.a while later tha brats went on.They didnt take long.THen the cavalry called,his name is my father in law.i didnt even ask him whats up,I blurted out my seemingly failed attempts to be a she woman and he laughed at me.he gave me some good pointers,a bit too late of you ask me.But hey any help helps and Neil didnt have to know I contacted another grill master for help.lol.So I went and woke him up finally.I wanted to wait till he was coherant beofre putting our cheap thin strip steaks ont he grill.He got up at the thought of me burinign down the hosue or singeing my brows.{it owuld just save us 4 bucks so i didnt have to get em waxed for a while}.He came outside and stracjhed his head and looked at the grill and sleepily replied htat my fire was ready for the steaks,but owndered why there were sticks smoldering in the grill.I told him it was for flavor....So the steaks went on and I sent him in to get the salad ready and Jake to wash up.Then the steaks were ready and the monent of truth had arrived.OMG to me they were good.Neil was impressed at my first true attmept to grill anything sussefully.We didnt get ecoli or anything and jake informed me that my Brats were as good as Daddys.COnsidering that Neil is truly the grill master around here,I took it as a compliment.Its not something i will be doing any time soon int he near future.I learned truly why women stay in the kitchen and gossip and guys drink beer outside and talk about guns.I know in a pinch or sever PMS craving I can grill,but we all have our places in this family.

Back to White Trash in 2 days Flat.

Ok,So Neil and I and Jake worked our butts off this weekend in the yard and house getting it spic and span.What a waste of time!We scrubbed our patio,and carport.Hauled off dried grass so long it could have been hay for numerus gerbals all winter{Neil hates to mow and I itch for 2 days when I do.}He drilled holes i the bottom of a yard sale toy box so water would drain,and we'd have a place for the outdoor toys.We had them all the riding toys neat and lined up beside it.Ciggeratte buts picked up and beer bottles disposed of in the tub that the crepe myrtle came in,Im using it for an under the patio table trash can.The dishes were done,my vintage Homer Laughlin bowls washed by hand and everythign else that aint dishwasher safe.the Lr had been vacumed after Neil fixed the dang thing.{We bought a Bissel Heatlthy home with money from a wedding gift,dont waste that money,Get a DYSON.Its a mood point here,I dont wanna talk about it.}Floors wer mopped,windows cleaned.All for what I ask?Not a dam thing.All that hard work was over the weekend.Today is Wed and we're back to white trash around here.The toys are strewn everywhere,the LR and Kitchen floor look like Huuricane Levi hit it with a smashed tube of Ritz and banana to boot,and the patio...lets jsut say,the smoke butts are back ont he ground and gerbal fodder is all around again.I feel like i caint win.So now I say screw it,Ill just join em.keep the dishes done so DHS cant get called,cut the grass when we can see it at the window line and let Levi treck his mayhem and whatnot all aroundFOr those of my friends who are clean freaks I pitty them,lol.Bring on a good mess well earned any day.As for me and my folk we will live in Chaos,cuz no matter how hard we try,it siwrls aorund us like the Roadrunner clouds from Tv.

Busy Bee's.

In January of last year {07}.Neil,Jake and I moved here to this tiny map dot of a town in TN.Neil is from about an hour south of here,and me Id never even been here until the day we bought our house.I was 5 months pregnant with Levi,and very hormonal.We picked this town b/c everyone we inqiured to saod they had great schools.They do.Pop almost 4,000.Small.One grocery store,few mom and pop resturaunts and a train station is this towns claim to fame.When we drove thru I cried.I thought it was awful.We drove past a few houses for sale.Then we pulled into the driveway of the house that would be our home.We instanlty loved it,just from the outside.The realtors met us here 30 minutes later and an hour later we had a verbal contract on it.Then the paperwork began.It was the only house we actually went inside,but like I said,we fell in love with it.It was brand new,a blank slate,and we were home.Then we moved in.Much as I'd like to say we got to work,we didnt.We painted Jakes room first,so he'd feel special.Then we had a painting party witht he inlaws to get levi;s room done.Its a pretty baby green.THen 3 days before I went into labor with Levi,I had to have my kitchen done.Talk about Nesting in phycho mode.I wanted ti DONE.This was thursday.On Friday and friday night Neila nd I finished it.Yes I was climbing in chairs,bout to pop,but dont tell my Memaw,and Neil tied one on.you can see his pianitg near the celing get progfresivly worse the drunker he got.We had fun.Next day we went fishing,next day Levi made his apperance.Then the painting stopped and makingi it homey stopped too.I had picutes on the wall,and photos up,but other than that it was a creamy buuilder flat paint.The yard,well,it got mowed and that was it.But then I got another post pardum hormonal surge and wound up with a UT orange bathroom.Folks either LOVE it or just nod.THen there was the living room and hall way.It needed to be the same color.So after 2 diffrent colors on various places in diffrent lights,I finally picked the third color.with one exception.I love RED,but neil said no red,so the entry wall,just to break up the applebutter color,is a burnt orangish rusty color.Neil lives with it and I love it.I call it my mad wall,cuz I got pissed at my sister for soemthing shed done to my mom.HTe outside still looked like white trash lived here.Then spring came.Ahhhh spring.I didnt want to have to mow the front flower bed this year,so off to lowes I went and bought some cheap hedge bushes.and mulcha dn other various things for a flower bed.Neil gave in and we made a flower bed up front.but every time it rains,since we have yet to instal gutters cuz we're poor,the mulch washes down the driveway.We had a party over here one night mainly on the back patio in early March.But we were disappointed in out jar light off the back.So we tried to figure out just how to light it.Now there is a French bistro esque street lamp on the back patio.Im so proud of it.Neil did good.Are yall seeing a pattern here?My idea's and shopping and Neil has to do the dirty work?poor guy.He dont mind keeping Mama happy though when she has a burr under her saddle.Then yesterday he cleaned off the carport and thatnks to HGTV ingentuity we now have our fishing poles and weedeater hung on bike hooks and our yard tools on a 7 dollar rack from lowes.Im not one to spend a bunch of money on outdoor stuffcuz we flat dont have it.So I hit the celarnace plant rack at Lowes in hopes of bringing back to life bushes and plants that are 3 bucks or less.ITs working so far.ANd then I dug up some cannis from Sams yard they were just mowing down.I kept a few and gave a whole bag {i dug with a sppn and kitchen knife none the less} to another firend.It was free plants all around.They are planted at the end of the carport near the 3 dollar hibusicus bush i got to plant in memory of my fornds 2 babies she lost.Theres a swing set in the back yard.Yep it coming together.We took our balnk slate and are making it our home.It already is home to us,we just want to more comfy.THe fron yard next spring will get day lillies near the 16 dollar crepe myrtle I HAD to have.Its called Natchez,its a MS thang I guess.I hope it thrives.There are other prodjects we want to do,like a shed and fence,but for now those have to wait.But I will be digging in a yard near you for free plants...just wiat and see.I dont want the yard of the month,but it sure beats looking like white trash lives here.Have a good un.

Watermellon Rind Preserves

SOoOO in my constant quest to be a true domestic godess Ive been making jam and jelly recently to take advantage of the summers bounty.Ive invented my own jam and jelly recipes.I made delicious strawberry,succesfully.Ive made orange maramalade,NOT succesfully.And lately Its been watermellon stuffs.To me there are few things better than a big ole slice of sun warmed,fresh from the patch watermellon.mmm.So I made watermellon/grape jelly.It was just WM but it never set and was too sweet,so not to waste anything after amking homeade grape jelly I added the rest of the juice to the pot.It gave it some wang at the end and is kick ass on a bisciut.Even the Whopping kind.{think canned you have to whop on the ocunter to open,but dont whop too hard,or you will have dough all over the kitchen.Thank goodness for the ten second rule.}.So,this time at the request of Neils aging grandad,I made watermellon Rind preserves.It truly is a pain in the ass.Specially since Ive never made it before.Not to waste,yet again,i hacked upt he watermellona nd cooked it down for jelly juice.we hacked,peeled,adn diced watermellon hide.I followed Grandads half cocked directions and said a prayer.Welp after cooking the boiling cauldron of sugar and rind it didnt quite look thick enough,so I took off the top and cooked some more.About 2 hours.By now my house smells like corn.Neil came up with that and we're sticking to it.Fonked up my whole house.Apparently one of the airvents that permeates the house is over the stove.this can be useful when waking up to cinnamon rolls or makeing homeade air freshener with cinnamon and cloves,but not so much on WM preserves.SO then after consulting with MY grandmother,I decided it was time to jar em up.I had let it cook so long I could have made hard candy.I had very little syrup left to pour over the now almost candied rinds.So into jars this small batch that took forever to make went.Upon opening a jar,its so thick you cant hardly scoop it out.Its like taffy texture,but not creamy.Think stiff sugar.We will see today if the fruits of our labor,I got neil to Help since it was HIS grandad who asked for em,if he likes them.I guess the women who thought of this had to use EVERYTHING they had.I guess Im blessed that I can toss my rinds into the tree line and make a sweetish supper for ants and other varmits that like watermellon.THe dog,we learned does NOT.I guess its all lessons learned.

How do we become friends?

Ive been like the cars Ive driven.

This is just an observation of mine.People sometimes look like their cars.Or their cars are an expression of them at that stage in their life.Take me.Ive had a cavalier,a geo,my Daddy bopught for me,aka the Tupperware tank.drove my daddys pimp wagon,had a bout dead Mercury Mestique,then there was Shark Bait.My escort.Now I drive the Mom Mobile,aka the Mailbox basher.Its a misdize SuV.Not loaded,but loaded enough and the newest veh Ive ever owned and I love it.I drive the hell out of it,and believe it or not it gets decent gas milage.
The Cavalier was a cute car back in 99 when I got it.My grandmother finaced it at a high intest rate and we got totlaly screwed on it,but I loved that little car.It took me from my home town to just outside Baton Rouge,LA {a 6 hr drive} in just over 4 hours.It was my mad at the world car.I zoomed it all over the South.Id take off in it with out a thought.Then I quit my job when I got pregnant and Daddy took over the notes.So no more car for Sarah.
THen a while later,he and his wife took pity on my and bought me a 94 geo prism.It was a shoe box of a car,but i loved it too.I had more fender benders in that thing.It got hte name the Tupperware tank.I was driving a lot for my job so the gas was great.I then totalled it.I was going through a hard time in my life,like a divorce and it was just the icing on the cake.So Daddy agian loaned me the Cavalier.then he repoed it and let me drive his Pimp Wagon.
It was a piece let me tell you.But at the time my life was a piece too.The wipers hardly worked,one of the 2 windows didnt roll down.like an 83 modle cruella deville ride.no shit.thats during the time on my life when I had the closest thing to a nervus breakdown.
A Few months later I paid all of my tax refund for what I thought was a good deal.I got a t 99 mercury Mestigue.I had to press the gas and brakes at red lights so it wouldnt die on me.I was still going through that rough place in my life and I had the wheels to prove it.It was always dying on me.One good thing about that car was I had an accident in it none of my fault.So I got a check for close to a grand to fix it.Hell I didnt fix it.it would have been like putting a bandaide on an amputation.So I paid off some debts.The night it finally died for good I was in the hood in Memphis.I had a crazy ex who was stalking me and he had showed up at my pt jobdowntown.Thank goodness he did.The one and only time I was thankful for that,btw.So he had it towed and sold it to a buddy of his who owned a shop.
Then there was Shark Bait.A 99 ford escort.tan with a huge chunck of the back side gone.I loved that little car.When you went over 60 it hummed at you.Never died at red lights,and when you flew over hills with folks in the back seat it would make a crunching sound when you came down!That car took me to Baton Rouge{i have a friend who lives there}.took me to KY to Mama's and drove me faithfully the 1 hr one way to see Neil when we were dating.I went everywhere in that car.It got great gas mailage.It ran great,would zoom anywhere and insurance was cheap.It didnt bother me that there was a chunk missing.It was kinda like my life at the time.I was in a good place,felt good,but there was still something missing.Best 1800 bucks I've ever spent at one time.
Then there was Neil.He wanted me to have soemthing more safe to drive.He wanted something he knew he could send me off on my raod trip with and not worry.We thought we were going to be able to use both our refunds and a bit he had saved to just pay cash for like a Malibu.But no.We didnt get a huge amount back to buy what he thought was decent enough.So then we bought my SUV.Forgein name,American Made.So now I have a car note,for the first time in years.Sucks!But its not a bad note.The Child support I get from Jakes sperm donor is enought o cover it,if need be.Fortunatly we put such a big down payment on it,now we owe less than what its worth,so a year into it Im not upside down.Its a 04 and has run anywhere Ive needed it to.At first the gas milage tripped me out.I went From a little go cart car to a v6.talk about buyers remorse!But I love it.Its taken me all over tn,and KY like I need it to.I dont mind the note.I fianlly have a veh that is whole.It still makes a few noises,but that suits me just fine.
I dont care really what I drive.So long as I can hop and go!I just found it amusing that the diffrent stages Ive been through in my quest to grow up my cars at the time have matched that.I know other ppl that are the same way.

Where my Feet have Trod

In 2006,while at Mission Beach in San Deigo,Ca,I snapped a pic of my feet in the water.I took this shot to prove to myself and everyone else Id been in the Pacific.I was there with my 80 something great Uncle and he didn't walk out to the water with me.So I took off shoes and socks and ran right in.My how exhilarating.It was cold,and windy and Feb .But it was GREAT.then later on that trip my brothers friend took one of me on Rocks in Palm Springs,the main thing you see is the bottom of my tennis shoes.I called that My self discovery trip.I started something woth that feet pic.Two of my girlfirends who had come out of similar sitations took similar trips.The whole leaving your bad vibes away from home thing.One of them took pics of her feet in the Gulf Of Mexico.The other took barefooted pics in SNOW in CO.I think those moments we left bad stuff in far away places and came home better women.Stronger women.Now when I travel I take barefooted feet pics.It lets me see where my feet can take me if I put my mind to it.Ive started something with other firends when they travel too.I know groups who have their things they do.A cousin takes a monkey with her that gets passed around,another collects shot glasses,but me and my friends take barefooted pics.The Philly trip was the most difficult sine I was wearing tennis shoes and socks and it was spitting snow,so my feet froze,but it was worth it.Feeling my bare feet on the steps of Independance hall was a feeling I will always remeber and it made me feel glad to be an AMerican.Sappy crap sounding I know,but Its MY memory.I walked where our nation was born and brave men commited treason.To me it was Biblical Awesome.Now where I go feet pics are snapped.I have long,somewhat mannish feet and now I have a flower tatoo,But the symoblism is the same.I remind myself where my feet have trod and the great life I have.

Jake and Levi

GOd gave me 2 boys to be a Mama to.He gave them to me and I adore them.Jake is 7 and is my mini me.though he looks a bit like my exhusband he is all me in the personality dept.I was a single mom to him from basically birth.Though my family lived closer to me,as did my ex family{I hate calling them that cuz to me we will always be family,exhusband exlcuded of cource}.So there were always babysitters.I didnt have to share him with anyone on a daily basis.I had to be mom and Dad.Had to comend and condem.I know in todays time its not cool to spank your kids,but I do.Though it is not the answer for every crime,it get the point across when you need it to.I hate child abusers,b/c there is a line you do not cross.Anyway.Jake is one of the funniest,smartest,enthususatic children you will ever meet.He and I grew up together,since I had him when I was 19.THe day he was born my Mom became the smartest person I knew.Since kids dont come with intruction Manuals,Dr.Spock be damed.ANd honestly my biggest suprise about motherhood was that you couldnt send them home.They were there and you had to figure out what they were screaming at you.With Levi,its been easier on some levels b/c Ive done the sleepless nights,diaper changes,and breast and bottle feedings.But Levi is his own person.Hes my wide open child and Jake has an old soul.Jake has done some silly things in his 7 years.He swallowed a quarter once when his preschool teacher told him to put it up.We had to wait it out and give him prune juice.Hes had 3 sets of stiches.My comments to him when he yelps in pain is,Are ya bleeding?Most of the time he is,poor kid.Hes red headed and wears glasses.to some kids theyd get picked on for that,but not my Jake.He embraces it and uses his charm he gets from both me and the ex to sweet talk.He has 3 girlfirends,some of them dont even know theyre his girlfriends.He peed on the play ground at preschool,and in the front flower beds of the college I was attending while I was talking to the Dean.Kids will embarass the shit out of you!Then there is Levi,my 1 year old.I felt him move at 14 weeks and knew Id have my hands full.He talked early,but not as early as Jake,walked early and loves playing in the toilet.He has a temper and his cry is literally WhaaaaWhaaa.Neil and I got a kick out of that sound at the hospital.Not so much any more.Levi has only been to the ER one time so far and thats when I cut his finger while cutting his fingernails and freaked out.HE always has a bump on his made of cast iron head.B/c he thinks hes a big as Jake and wants to do everything he does.Levi will tell you nono by shaking his head.Hes done it since before he could talk,but he got his point across.Its still very cute!I was 25 when he was born and shortly afterwards I had my tubes tied.I birthed my limit and though I dont mind keeping my friends kiddos,Im glad I cant have anymore.Id rather finally go to Europe after Levi graduates high school.jake and Levi,despite the age gap,since I changed husbands are best buds.When Jake is gone to Nana's or Memaws Levi wanders around the house looking for him.I love my boys and thank God for them every day.

Where do Brusies Come From?

Im Writting on a fonkey green color to coinside with the subject at hand.Brusies.You know tose softball size ones that are purple and green and blue? Those marks that just appear on your body and the only expliantion you have for them is that little green men come in and beat on you in your sleep.Those bruises that are painful and most of the time youre not even aware they exist except when your looking and slef loathing at your fat in the mirror in that time between the bathroom and Jammies.Case in point,Samantha,a friend of mine came over a few days ago with what looked like Taladega after the race on her leg.She had a streaking black,blue mass running down her boney leg.I asked how she got such a horrible mark,thinking her husband had come up with some sexual torturing.Theyre freaks so I wasnt sure,lol.She said she didnt know HOW shed gotten it,but noticed it when she crossed her feet under her chair at the kitchen table and whacked it.Owwww,pain!I told her if she had more padding on her legs that shed not bruise so bad.Always one to eat my words,God knew what he was doing giving me a size 11 foot,b/c my mouth would ever be plenty big to fit it,I now have a mysterious bruise on my ass.Yesterday it was itching like Id been eaten up with skeeters again.{gotta love the south and our bat size pest}.Last night between the bathroom and jammies I noticed a huge one on my hail damaged ass.Its big and purple and painful.I sit on it all the time,as to protect my biggest body part,besides my mouth,so how did I get such a mark?I thought of the things Id done over the weekend,and I dont recollect getting shot at gun school.Neil and I had a heated session on the floor at his folks,but no hard grasping was involved.Just quiet,try not to get caught by them or the kids,so nothing there.So as it stands now I have a similar bruise on my butt that not only still itches,but hurts like hell when I sit the wrong way,and like I said I sit a lot!

Fat Women Dont wear Belts

So I learned a valuable lesson yesterday.I realized why I havent worn a belt in in years.I have too much junk in my trunk,abs,and sides to need one.I wear shirts that cover up my waist,adn thus the fold over from the top of my jeans so no one can see.Neil and I took a class yesterday with his dad to get our concealed carry permits.That way we can legally carry a gun on our person.the attire requirements were to wear something comfy and a belt.to me thats a conflict of interest,cuz a belt on a big woman just aint my idea of comfy.We had to stop at a local Walmart and buy me one.A sturdy one non the less,not the cute fabric pointless things that are the current vouge.I had to buy a HUGE belt to wear around my middle to hold my .38 holster on.I already have a bladder the size of a Walnut,and intentionaly squishing it was not my idea of a good time.I had to pee like 10 times over the cource of a few hours.My body was in revolt,what the heck was I doing to it,squishing and confining it thte way I was!?I like to let my fat roll flop over and when I stand up in my just belwo the waist jeans I let gravity to its dang job,let everything fall where it may.I sat there in a small calssroom with other people breathing my air figeting all day.Though I didnt talk much,as to not embarass Neil with all the stupid questions I had going thorugh my mind,but I wiggled like I had ants in my pants.He kept telling me to be still.I told him I couldnt.the dam belt kept irriataitng me to no end and my bladder was in full on rebellion.How could I sit still when i was in comfortable?But none the less I behaved and shot acuratly enough to pass the class,go me.But I was sitting beside the Valedictorian and Salutatorian of the class.Neil shot 100% ont he range and I brought up the rear with a 76% accuracy.But he was shooting his semi auto and I had my trustly revolver he had given me as a wedding gift.But I guess now he knows if good and pissed off theres a 76% chance Im gonna hit what ever I aim at.belt and all.If i could have shot barefooted and belt less Id have gotten at least 90%.I cant think with shoes on either! So the moral of the story is I can't remeber when I stopped wearing a belt,but I sure know the hell why!

Friends..Such good friends

This morning Im talking to my best friend,Crystal,{besides Neil,of cource}.Shes sitting on her porch drinking coffee and Im sitting on the patio drinking coffee and we miss each other.We're both smoking our morning Marlboros,and gossiping about home folks and even folks from here.She and I go way back to 3rd grade for me and 2nd for her.I was a grade ahead of her and we are 5 months apart in age.We've done some crazy shit in our day.We walked from her house to my house in tha dark and ice one night cuz it started sleeting and her Mama said she had to come home.I was scared to deathe the cyotes was gonna eat me.She protected me and laughed at me the whole time.But we made it.We've been through marriages,babies,boyfriends,wild and crazy nights where we woke up still drunk,and now new husbands.We've been apart,we've been toghether and we've been stoned too many times to count.We've had our good ole times and slept with the same people,just not at the same time,except that one time.But she was really too drunk to remember.lol.We made it through my parnets divorce and her Mamas stroke.We've fought for weeks and cried for days.Ive been pissed at her and didnt know why and she apologised for whatever it was and we were good.Now we're in the same place in our life.We've got good men,and stable homes and yet we're still crazy.But thats what life is all about.We talk about getting old and living in the nursing home.Getting our grand kids to sneak us in some green stuff,after we either kill our husbands or they die.Whatever comes first.We know our ups and downs have made us stronger not only as women but as the best of friends.No matter what happens.We know there will be more ups and downs but since we've been there and done that shit we know can and will make it through.GOd gave us each other,and she is my sister I love her a bunch.

Not awake yet

First off let me say that this morning i have a benadryl hangover.I may be a large woman,but Im a light weight when it comes to meds,except when I had my tubes tied.ANyway.The skeeters the night beofre made me an all you can drink buffett and I was scratching like the guy in GWTW who told Ms. Scarlett that "these animills is making me crazy".SO even Neil's strong coffee this AM aint helping.
Yesterday afternoon Neil decides he wants to go to Jackson to look at gun Holsters at Gander Mt.its an outdoor store.Did I mention hes a gun person?I am too,but I like them on looks,he like them for power,so like any other deep southernor,we have an arsenal.ANd he needed tennis shoes,other parts of the country call them sneakers or trianers,round here,if iut ties and says Nike,New Balance or my choice Saucony,their tennis shoes.So I said fine,but I got to pick the place where we ate.Jackson is civilazation to me,even though its 40 minutes from us.So we get Him his man stuff and I say I wans Japanese food.I may live in PoDunkville Tn,but Im a foodie.
Neil was skeptical and Jake was excited,Levi,who just turned 1 was jsut HONGREY.Neil had never eaten hibachi beofre,but Jake has and he loves it.Suprisingly Neil liked it.He is not a picky eater by any means,he jsut aint been out too much.lol.I dont know if many other men are like this,but Neil is an eater and a shitter.As in he poos like 5 minutes after he eats.So on the way home he said ,"Ya know I like Japanese food,it dont run through me like other stuff,normally Id be having the shit crapms bout now and be huntiung for a place to go,or telling you to floor it."I bout ran off the road laughing at him.I had to learn yesterday how he gets the urge to poo.He explained how his belly starts cramping,and I told him I didnt get that much warning.I had to go,NOW when the urge hit.We've been together about 2 1/2 years and married a 1 1/2 years,and I guess theres still stuff we're learning.Wed been having a deep discussion about our marriage and how we can improve it.Its good,but we want it freaking Awesome,So we had been talking about ways to do that.Then out of the blue he pops out with shit cramps.To me Im married to a funny man!As in he cracks me up all the time with his dry,sarcastic one liners.Yesterday ranks near the top.
That is all for today!

First Time for everything

GOod Morning,
So Im starting this blog as a way to clear my head.If anyone else reads it and can relate,well then There ya go.Forst off,Im Sarah.Im married to Neil,and we have Jake and Levi,{names have been changed,lol}.Im almost 27 years old,and I always wanted to be famous.Not so much anymore.Im a smoker,5'7",and 50lbs overweight.My kids are little,and Im a stay at home mom.I freaking hate to clean!But love to cook.Im from a small town in N.Ms that aint so small anymore,but now I live in an even smaller town in N.W. TN.{not been changed}.My brain goes fast than my marlboro held fingers so I cant type.I got inspired to write when my brain woke up beofore my body did.Thank God for coffee and a few of piece and quiet before the monsters awake.and wireless internet,so I can sit on the back patio and enjoy said coffee and Marlboros.I litterally found myself when I was 24 and in Cali,at my brothers.My life changed after that trip,but ill go more into that later.I grew up out in the country on the lake and am a water rat.love to fish and swim,not so much on the water sports,as Im not coordinated at ALL!I love to write,and talk,and visit.Ive learned to appreciate the humor in everyday life and I hope pt convey that here.Why Im joining the rest of the world and starting a blog I have no clue,but I dont want to keep boring my myspace friends with details!I love to travel,adn I like to go places where the couch,floor,or as of recent,my friends son bunk bed to rest my head.GIve me a coke classic,pack of smokes and a full tank of gas and Ill go anywhere,kids in tow,of cource.But it sure is nice to get away with out them too.Im independant and so is my husband and thats how we work,we are madly in love.that kind of love that makes people sick.We have 29 demetions of compatibilty.But Ill get into that later.Get the Neil refrence already.Ok,I guess thats enough of an intro into kinda who I am,but wait theres more......