Jamaica and George

So, at a recent family festival in our new hometown, Nathan and I got suckerd into buying 2 hermit crabs. My MIL in her infinate wisdom gave Nathan 20 bucks,to spend at will,but with a tip of " Look around at everything before you blow , I mean spend, your money!" Yes Ma'am. Who can fault the wisdom of a loving GrandMama,not me.
So Nathan and I strolled around the small town festival and he was drawn to various booths promising a prize if you hit the bullseye, getting to write your name on a list of how fast they clocked you chunking baseballs,and what not. I however was drawn to the cutesy dresses for my niece,and purses of various shades of color and nawgahide. Everyone needs a patented nawgahide,in teal,with flowers on it, purse,right?
So after strolling through the various booths,and eating overpriced, heartburn giving street food, he decided he wanted to go back to the Hermit Crab lady. {I'd hate to have that handle}. Her booth was the busiest in this section of tents. many kids, both happy and unhappy and bedraggled parents simply shaking their heads and handing over cash,after empty promises of "YES! I'll take care of it! SWEAR MOM!". Yeah right. Who are we kidding.
So, in order to make my son happy, I agreed that he could get the crab. But I got taken when not only did we buy a crab,we bought 2, a terarrium,a tiki hut,and sponge. The lady, a fellow Mississipian had taken me for 39.00 before it was all said and done. Hmmmm....all those, for only 3 dollars more you get more useless shit, sure to make your crab a happy crab.
As we left, I ran into one of Joshes buddies, Tido. Telling him the only thing I got at Munford Celebrate was crabs...tee hee....
We get back to my inlaws house to pick up Caleb and Nathan was more than eager to show his GM what her hard earned 20 bucks bought. Caleb seemed happy to get his prize from the festival,even though he didnt have to go. That is until his crab began to crawl on his arm and he promplty dropped him. All MIL could do was shake her head. I know she was thinking"Good Lord,Sarah, thats not what I had in mind..."She just grinned though at my beaming sons, and emphatically said, NO when Caleb asked if she wanted to play with him.
The boys named them Jamacia and George. Jamaica is from Jamaica and is Nates. George is from the Pacific and is Calebs.
So when Josh got home from work, the boys were so excited to show Daddy their new pets. Daddy,however was less than thrilled. He came out to the porch,where I grinned,and said, "What?". He said," you know how I asked you not to bring home anymore dogs without me picking it out,or at least having prior knowledge, WELL, it applies to ANY animal" I popped back with they are Crabs,not animals. He didnt think it was funny.
So rules were set, about how Caleb could sit on Nates bed and watch them when Nate is not home,but under NO circumstances was he to get the crab out of the terarrium, perched high atop Nates chest of drawers. That lasted all of 2 days. Caleb proudly brought George out to show me. Saying, Look Mom, heths so cute!" While I agree there is a cuteness about sea spiders,{as Josh calls them}, they are not to be messed with while Mom is doing laundry,cooking supper, or otherwise oblivious to what Caleb is doing. Fine and good.
Till last Thursday. Caleb brought George out to me while I was drinking coffee and head in some Korean War Memoir {The Coldest War, by James Brady} anyway. I put him back where he goes and popped Calebs booty once and moved the kitchen stool back to the kitchen.
As Caleb and I went about our day, I thought nothing of it, that is until Nathan got home from school and a roar, from my somewhat small almost ten year old errupted! then the words, I shall not soon forget, "Mom! where is George?!?"
"In the cage where I put him a few hrs ago!" I roared back {Josh hates it when we holler across the house, but hey,he wasn't home!}
"OH NO HES NOT!" was the louder reply!
SHIT! "Caleb, where is George?"
Caleb," hes under the sea with the other crabs!"
More shit, how am I gonna explain this to Josh, he who likes animals of his choosing and merely tolerates the ones he works to feed!
Its just about the time for Josh to call,as hes headed home from work. So mid bedlam of searching and tearing up my boys already in constant state of trashing, I had to "be cool" and aloof,and "be safe on your way home,honey,and I love you too's" then chaos recommenced as we futily looked for a tan crab in 2 beige carpeted rooms! Shit!
So after half an hr we all gave up, and I swore the boys NOT To tell Daddy. I dont like keeping secrets from Josh,so I dont. I tell too much,he says. So I thought this time his words, of"honey, I dont need to know EVERYTHING," would apply.
So the next day we looked, and no George. So I decided after Josh and Cousin Allen drank the better part of a bottle of burbon, was the BEST time to tell him about the loose crustation in our house! Not my finest hr,to be sure. Needless to say, He went a lil nuts. In a funny way. He lifted the couch with one hand,and low and behold a shell was under there. {Doesnt everyone have sea shells under their couches?} turns out, it was not George, but the said shell can be used later when either grows out of their current abodes. He was ready to tear the house up, but I made him not do that, and that my Mama,who was coming on Sunday would help us find "Po Ole George," the ferral hermit crab.
Mama helped to look for the few days she was here, but no avail. We all kind of decided that we would not find George till he began stinking up the place. Oh joy, and here we are renting!
Well, wonders never cease! Friday afternoon, Caleb comes running out on the porch with a medium size shell in his hand! happily jumping up and down that he had not only FOUND George,but that he was alive! I took the, assumed to be dead, crustation from Caleb's hopeful hands and noticed the dust on him. I shook my head and told Caleb that while I was happy he found him, that Po Ole George was dead! He looked at me very puzzled and said, "Nu Uh Mom, he was crawling across the wiving room floor!" I thought, this can not be.
So I took George and put him in the crab swimming pool {the one you have to put BOTTLED water in} and sure enough, Geroge came right out of his shell and even I could tell that he was hosing up that water, like BP has tried to do with the oil, with all his crabby mite!

Moral of the story is: When you feel yourself thinking, "AWE! Hermit crabs are so cute, the kids will have hrs of fun with them" THEY WONT! JUST WALK AWAY!
And if you cave and buy them, they can survive on dust in your house and apple peelings your 3 year old leaves around incase he wants a midnight snack!