Mad,Nonsnece poetry

I hate feeling the way I do right now.Ready to run.Run away from it all,even for just a bit.Ready to scream while tears are rolling down my face.Watching yesterdays mascara pool on my kleenex.The words that were shared hurt to the core.Im ready to run.Ready to take a break from this happily ever fucking after.Ready to bust wide open! Slpit myself into,so I can see myself from a diffrent angel.Ready to yell,ready to run,ready to take off and not look back.Ready to walk away from it all.Ready to fill up the tank and hit the road following whatever signs are not clouded by tears.I hate the pain.I hate the anxiety,I hate it all.I hate feeling desperate!I hate wanting to miss you!I hate that Id rather miss you than be with you.I hate that your touch makes my skin crawl right now.I hate that feeling.Im ready to bounce.Ready to see if Ive got what it takes to make it again.I hate needing you.I hate feeling dependant.I hate that I love you right now.Im ready to fly,ready to soar,ready to reconnect with me.Ready to take a chance on myself.I hate that feel like that.I hate that the thought of laying beside you,makes me wish you were gone.I hate that look you gave me last night.I hate that I took it personal.I hate that you made me cry.What I really hate,is I let you see me cry.I hate you saw my weakness.I hate that I love you so much that you have that affect on me.I hate that you think men need to feel needed.What a crock of shit.Men want what they want and thats that.No consideration! Im ready to scream.Im ready to ride the tide.Im ready to walk away.Im ready to change my number and forget your name.I hate feeling this way.I hate that you get me.I hate that you know how to get to me.I hate youve seen me bleed.I hate you know my heart.I hate that you love my soul.I hate that I love you.I hate that Im willing to look past the fight.I hate that I kept my mouth shut,and didnt argue with you.I hate that you knew youd upset me.I hate that You saw me wounded.Im ready to show you.Im ready to forgive you.Im ready to make love to you all day.Im ready let you hold me.Im ready to run......

Cop Killers Should Be Hung on the Courthouse Lawn

I read yesterday that a 25 year old Philadelphia,PA police officer was shot and killed in the line of duty.He is the first this year,but the fourth to be shot by a thug since October of '07,per an online article I read.This is not just happening in big cities like Philly,the City of Brotherly Love,the true birthplace of our great Nation.It burns me up!One of my brothers that I claim is a police officer,and I have various friends in law enforcement.I had a friend who was fataly injured in a car wreck in the line of duty some years ago.That was horrible.He was so full of life.In the recent ice and winter mess,a police Chief in small town AR,was killed when an icy tree limb fell on him.While the car wreck,and tree limb are horrible on there own,a police officer getting shot and killed in the line of duty affects me worse.THese men and women who put on a badge everyday to serve and protect are there to help other people.I am VERY PRO GUN! In the legal way.The reason we have gun laws is to protect all of us.But there are some people who think they are above the law,in this case.Oh,sure,I speed,and at times do what we call Mississippi Rollin Stops,but I dont have a gun with the intent of doing bodily harm to those who are trying to help.I do have a gun.As soon as the state of Tn gets off their butt,I will have a permit to carry the gun on my person.THere are places where I wont be able to wear it.Places that serve alcohol,and places that have signs posted that firearms are prohibited.Places like the DMV,and other various govt. buildings.I will have no problem unsrtapping to enter these places.B/c that is the LAW.When a cop is gunned down in cold blood,it truly pisses me off!!!! I feel like it is such a waste.I mean,who is the thug,to say that this officer needs to be shot? For the one who chooses to shoot the cops,or anyone,in cold blood,must KNOW its illegal,even if they disagree.There are some laws,I feel that way about.BUT the laws I feel that way about,Dont hurt anyone.Theres one in Ms that says a girl under a certian age,cannot be in a car with a male with her shoes off.ANd its illegal to drive barefooted.Some may say you cant pick and choose which ones you want to follow,and follow them.That the law is the law.Ok,sure.But the laws I disagree with,arent likely to get anyone killed.Shooting someone in self defence is NOT MURDER.Shooting your spouce when you catch them in bed with someone else is not murder either.No,its not really the right choice,but you are not in your right frame of mind then either.Shooting a someone,b/c theyve stepped up to help the ones who is defensless IS MURDER! I believe in due process and all that mess,for the ones who wind up on death row,who could possibly be innocent.I am pro dealth penalty,too.I am pro death penalty,if there is either video tape evidence,or more than 2 people who see you do it.I could not,however,send someone to death based on circumstance.Id like to think our justice system would not try for the death penalty in circumstace cases.But they do.If I were on a jury and sent someone to death row,if there was even one doubt,Id be just as guilty of murder.Ive never served on a jury,so I can not speak from expericnece.I hope I never have to be on a death penalty case either,unless it is cut and dry,and black and white proof.In the case of the PPD officer,there are eye witnesses,so therefore the thug should be hung.No due process,not big media frenzy over this mess,cut and dry.He shot the officer,he speedily pays with his own life.Same goes for child molesters too.There should be no rehabilitation,no sex offender list,no signs in the yard,none! Hang em high.B/c in a way,they took a life too!No phycsically,but the emotional scars to the victim,YES VICTIM,will always be there.There should be some justice there too.I dont know what that feels like either,thank God,but I think that person,no matter how old,will live in some kind of fear.Maybe if we just strung em up,the victim could have some peace.I am pro rooting out the TelBan in Afgansitan!!!They made us bleed,so yes,they should suffer and pay for it too!Do I think we need to get out of Iraq,yes.BUT,not until we have helped them all we can.Are our forces getting killed over there for them,hell yes they are.But the way I see it,is they are only helping people.And it will take time to help people learn there is another way of life besides one of oppression.So,that way,every soldier,and American who died on 9/11,and on the USS COLE will not have died in vain.Fighting an elusive enemy.Do I think America should be the worlds police?No.DO I think that we are the only ones who have the right ideas about human rights,and are the cornerstone of morality,no.BUT,good men and women have paid the ultimate sacrifice trying to show others that there is a better way.I can relate to mental illness,but the soldiers who kill themselves,to me are cowards! This is yet another soap box I am on.No,we as humans are not perfect.We screw up all the time.But I dont think the people who put their lives on the line to try to make a diffrence should be slaughtered for it!!!I will pray for our soldiers until the day I die.Both in war and peace.That,to me,includes,cops,soldiers,firefighters,and EMS.Having gone through EMT training,I would have done everything I could have to help my fellow man.My husband has done it! ANd not for show,or even a Thank-You,but b/c its the right thing to do.I hope I can instill that in my children.!I think that maybe of we had swifter punshiment for those crimes that are directly wintessed,maybe that would make someone with murder on their mind to think twice.Life in prison is not the answer!I know Im ranting,but thank GOd I have that right.Thank God that those men in Philadelphia saw that opression was wrong and commited treason.So we can bitch about what we'd like,drive around free as birds,and sleep in peace at night.I know this particular blog is all over the place about the injustices,and my own opinions about right and wrong.But I know I am not alone!!!

Still Dieting

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A Letter to Kat

Dear Kat,
You will probably never read this letter to you,but I have some things to say.Its been eating at me,and waking me up at night,and put me in a funk.WIse ones say not to point fingers,and look at the ones pointed back at you.Ok,Ive done that.The Bible says,"for all have sined and fallen short,".I totally agree.ANd it aslo says to love your brother.Or in you case,my sister.Ok,Check that too.I want to say first,that I love you.Youre my sister.We have not seen eye to eye on just about anything in our 23 year realtionship.ANd thats ok with me.But I do love you.But right now,its only because youre my sister.But you dont act like a sister.And honestly neither do I to you.Its hard to be your sister.Its hard to be your friend,and its impossible to trust you.And that is only b/c you have not began to tell the truth.You bend it to suit you.You know,I dont even think you realize that your actions affect other people.They do.The lies you tell,the manipulations,and the flat out disrespect for anyone baffles me.Ive told you before to tell the truth,Kat,and people will see it.They will be more than willing to help you,if they can trust you.That does not mean telling the world your business,I dont do that.I used to continulsly comapre your actions of the past few years to my own at your age.Then,I stopped that.I cant do that.I keep reliving the past,Ive worked so hard to move on from.I am not writting you to be hollier than thou,and not admitting any wrong doing.B/c I know,and even you know I cant do that.But I did learn from my past.And honestly,I have not done half the mess you have.But the things I did were wrong just the same.And God has forgiven me,as I strive to be a better person,I allow HIM to guide me.I had to open my heart up,and let HIM in.I had to forgive myself for my past,and try to be a better woman.And I try every day.People have helped me so much.Even you have helped me.ANd I truly appreciate you for that.But Ive tried to help you too.I did not know how much of an addict you had become.Maybe if I had not moved away,I could have helped you more,or not let you get to the point where you are now.But I do know,based on the past,that if I had tried to get you help,and gone to our Dad,he would have not believed me.And thats sad.Always feeling like the bad guy in your own family.Do you feel that way now?The Chirstmas before I moved away,and you and I had our big blow up at Dads,I was done with you.I didnt trust you then,and I may never trust you.Trust is a hard one for me to give.But its lessons learned that have made me that way.I have not given up the HOPE that you will change.I ahve not ever stopped praying that GOd will somehow open your heart.You have,in the past,had a good heart,Kat.WHat changed that? You may want to balme it on your addiction,and I know thats some of it.But using people,like you have is wrong.There is a big diffrence in using people and letting them help you.Ive told Mom this,and others,that I was born ready to conquer the world.B/c I knew everything,and I was going to do it blind folded and one arm tied behind my back.Those days are over,my arms and heart are open to help,and the blindfold is off,so now I can see that I hurt ppl along the way.Now,I have a chance to right the wrongs,and help other people.To me thats what its all about.I feel like youve been given more chances than anyone I know.More opportunity to get your shit together,and yet you havent.But I honestly dont know that you have the willpower and drive to do that.Dont forget I was a single mom,and dont forget how I busted my ass to take care of my son.I didnt do it so ppl would look at me and say,"look what shes accomplished".I did it,b/c no one esle was going to do it for me.Right now,I hope youve hit rock bottom.Ive been there more than once myself. I thought maybe youd hit it,after you werent welcome at our Memaws home.But you didnt believe me.You thought I was out to get you.Kat,nonone is out to get you.I hope to God you know that.If they were,do you really think both sets of our parents would have been in court to fight for your child?They WANT you to get help.They WANT you to become a productive member of socitey.They WANT to love you! But you have to let them.Using people and lying is not the way to do it.I dont know exactly what is the best choice for you in order to get on the right path.ANd Im not even saying go to church and become so straight laced you dont know how to have a good time.I will say this,it is not easy! I did not have to fight pill addictions or other things that you have,so I dont know how to help you there.But becoming a productive member of socitey and becoming the best mom you can be,I can help you there.If you ever want your daughter back,your going to have to change.ANd mean it,and grow from it,and be willing to say,HEy,I was sooo low,but now Im doing good,and I can help other women,in the same situation I was in avoid some of the things Ive done.Kat,if that day comes,and you can help others,and someone else does not go through what youre going through,it will be worth it.You have to want it! and I cant make you want it.Ive said my son saved my life.Let your daughter save yours.Every time you look at her,try to think,how I can I better myself to be the best I can for her.A wise firend of mine said you have to go through the valleys so you can appreciate the veiw from the top of the mountian.And yes,sometimes there will be a huge valley,but you can cross it,and climb back up.You know I am bipolar.You;ve seen the struggle.You were the one who took me to get help.I have never,nor will I ever not be grateful to you for that.YOu were just a kid,and you saw something that was wrong and you did all you could do to help me.I only wish I could do the same for you.Ive tried to be there for you,but you havent let me.You knew,I was on to your little game of lies and manipulations.But you never came to me and let me help you.When I went to you and tried to give you abck what you had given me,you lashed out at me.Ive been down in the valley myself.Ive been in tunnels where I never thougtht Id see a light.But there was a light! that light was my family and friends who were there to support me.At times you were part of that.Where did that part of you go?Its till there,Kat.It has to be.But its buried under lies,addiction,and plain out meaness.You are not an evil person.You are stronger than your life you have now.You CAN come out of this.Im not sure what else it will take.I sued to be jealus of you and your pretty face and your nice body.But then I came to realize it was just a shell.You used it to trample people to get them to bend to your will.You have had our Dad convinced everyone ws out to get you and you were the victim.You are NOT a VICTIM.You were the instagator.and that is wrong too.I hate that I didnt set a better example for you.But,I learned,from a certain unnamed relative,how I didnt want my life to be.And after some hit and misses,I learned how not to be like her.It would have been easy to fall into the trap of addiction and not seeing my kids.But NO,I fought it.I used my conquer the world drive and have,to this day,fought giving into the dperession deamons.I fight the mainia too.I have learned to curb my temper.That does not mean that I dont have my days where I throw stuff in anger,yell,spend money Id otn have,or even get off the couch.But those are just moments of days.Those moments are not my life.But yes,they are part of it.I take medicine everyday so i can attempt to be the best wife,mom,sister,daughter,and friend I can be.It does not always work.I am not always happuy go lucky,and no my life is not some cookie cutter.Who freaking wants a life like that anyway?I dont.But I can be good to people.I can try to show others the love and support Ive been shown,and still get shown all the time.I tell the truth,even when it hurts.During my wild phase I didnt realize you were watching me.ANd sadly learning from me too.But I have prayed that you would see that I have gotten past that.ANd I learned myself how to be a better person.There is a wonderful person inside of you.Who does not have to use her beauty,or lie,or cheat or anything like that to be the best she can be.I dont know how to help you fight your addictions.I dont know what underlying mental issue you have on top of the addiction.But if and when I do,I will try to helo you the best way I can.Kat,I freely admit I have not been a saint.I freely admit Ive had my own vies and demons to deal with.But thats just it,I deal with them.Most of the time I have to ignore them!that way Im not some raving luncatic that I;d like to be sometimes.If I can do it,you can do it too.
Right now,you are not welcome in my home.There are a couple of other homes you are not welcome in either,and you know whos they are.But that is not a permanate thing.It will be if you do not change.It affects everyone who loves you.It affects us b/c we DO love you and we have seen the wonderful person you can be.I think thats whats so sad.You are not Pittiful.You are in control of you!You can do it ,Kat.RIght now,and maybe the rest of your life you will need help not to slip up.Thats where your family and friends come in.To lift you up when they see you slipping.But the key to that is honesty. I hope you check yourself in somewhere and get the tools you need to reach your full potential.I have been thinking about things that I'd like to say to you.I know Id just be wasting my air though.I cant make you change.But I can hope.My door is shut to you right now,but the door is not locked.It can,and I pray will be opened again one day.If you could turn the effort you put into your current lifestyle and put it towards getting help,and being positive,no one can stop you! You can DO IT! Admitting you need help and are wrong about something was a hard one for me to accept in myself.I percieved it as being weak.Well,its not.Its called humilty.Being at your lowest and rising up from it to go forth and be the best you can be.With people holding your hand.When they see you helping yourself.You have no idea how our mom feels,b/c you take everything she says,as shes out to get you.IF she was out to get you do you really think shed have let you come there,when you left Ms?do you think shed have let you use her ride,and phone,and given you a break on your rent?Or not taken care of your daughter?If our brother or I were doing the same things youve been doing,shed have done the same for us.You may percieve it as TO YOu,but no,Kat,its for you,and for your daughter.That precious little girl whom I adore,who deserves the best mom she can have.I hope one day you are that mom.Its easy to cave,and hard to fight.FIGHT KAT! PLEASE FIGHT! Better yourself,and make a life,a good life for you and your children!!!! I love you.

I'm Busy in my Sleep.

So,this morning when I got up,Neil asked me who I was talking to.I looked at him through still sleep hazed eyes,and said simply,HUH?He said,Yeah,you were talking to someone in your sleep.I said very cleary last night,No,I dont know what youre going through,and NO,I dont understand.He said he thought I was talking to him.Only when he questioned me I merely mumbled and rolled over.This is not the first time this has happend with us.Neil talks in is sleep from time to time too.But its mainly me who does it.I googled sleep talking this morning.Why I've never done it before,I don't know.
WebMD said its harmless,normally,and occurs in only 4% of adults.I guess Neil and I are for sure in that 4% and it tends to run in families.Research indicates that there is no diffrence between the number of men and women who sleep talk.I have that proof right in my own bed.I shared a room with my sister growing up,and she talked in her sleep too.
As a child,I had also been known to sleep walk.I remember dreaming one night,I must have been an early teen,about doing laundry.My Mom said she'd heard a noise,and went to check it out.I was standing at the washer,with it on,light on and everything,but I had put nothing in it.I have no memory of this,but I do remember the dream.And on another occasion my brother found me in the bathroom.Sitting on the closed toilet talking to myself.Again,the light was on.{I generaly wake up at least once a night to potty,}He tried talking to me,but I was mainly just babbling.I dont remeber this either.
So,I have a history of night time activities.My sister talked in her sleep too.Im not sure if she still does,as I have not shared a room with her in ten years.But we had bunk beds at one point.Me on top,her on bottom.She must have been about ten or so,maybe younger,but under the bed rails that held up my bed,she had pictures stuck up there.Friends,family,her animals.Well,one night as I was stepping up to get into bed,she sat straight up.I thought maybe shed heard me and was going to go potty.Nope,She sat up,looked at me,seemilgly wide awake,adn handed me a picture of our deceased PawPaw.She said,as if awake,take it,HEREWebMd,and a few other sites say that this night time chatter is normal in children ages 3-10.My kids both do it.Jake will mumble,and at times sit up and talk to you.He had night terros as a toodler,and that is a whole nother blog to itself.He grew out of it,and now he talks.Levi mumbles.I dont know if his is half rousing and talking himself back to sleep.But he does it too.Im not sure if my neice or nephew do it,but htey have a very good chance at it.
THe reasearch indicates that there may be other issues going on.Like mental illness,substance abuse,stress,and fever.I guess right now mine could be related to stress.Ive always been a VERY vidid dreamer and able to recall most of what happens.Im stressed right now about a situation with above mentioned sister,so I told Neil,that she is probably who I was talking to,but dont remeber a dream last night with her in it.
THere have been times when I've woken him up from a dead sleep,Screaming,HELP!!!HELP MEI also have lucid dreams too.ANd dreams that tell the future.Or just mainly bizzare occurances where I have to call the subject of my dream on the phone,just to check on them.My mom says Ive always had dreams like that.ANd was able to describe places Id never been to or seen in complete detail from the time i was a little kid.Jake has done this too,a few times.The women on my maternal side have ESP tendacies.My mom does not channel hers,but mine are so strong I have no choice.Maybe sleep talking is tied into all that.All the paracsychological things that happen to me.I dont know.Maybe.I cant see how they are not tied together.Its too bizzare sometimes how I will dream,and then that very thing happen,or I will read about it happening.
Its dejavu times 100.And I think its all related to my dreams and how I can recall them.Sometimes I will remeber the dreams that cause the sleep talking.I do this in my lucid dreams.Those dreams where I know im dreaming,and can somewhat control my actions,but not the actions of others.
I also have those flying dreams.In airplanes,yes,but thats not what I mean.I mean Im walking along,and bam,Im flying.Like Peter Pan and Wendy.Sometimes Its because I need to get from point A to B fast,or that Im happy in my dream and feel like flying,or that Im trying to get away from something.I normally only fly when Im very happy and things are going good.Not normally when Im stressed or bogged down by something.
So,I talk,do laundry,and holler in my sleep.Im a busy lady,even at night!

Married Life

Yesterday we celebrated our second wedding anniversary.Along with my brother and sisterinlaw.We had not planned to all get married the same day,it just kinda happend.We eloped,and Lane and Mitz had a small ceremony at their house.I remember Lane telling me,a Thursday,who gets married on a freaking Thursday?Apparently we do.There was no big to do for Neil and I.He had to work,and aside from the beautiful flowers I got,there wasnt much difference.I am proud of us.We've made it,succesfully,through some tough obstacles.

An observation Ive made about some of the married couples Im close to.the ones that have very solid marriages.The ones whos marriages,I want to strive to be like,and the ones similar to my own happily ever after.The main issue is the THERMOSTAT! I'm serious.I sppent the night at my sisters on Friday.It was so cold you could have hung meat in there.I touched the thermostat when I got up b/c I was freezing and promplty got yelled at by my big sister.Her husband,Bobby,complains that she will keep the heat on 65 ish then cuddle up with a blanket.While he's sitting over there shivering too.At night,she keeps it cold,then sleeps with a box fan and the celing fan and 3 blankets.It cracked me up watching them,b/c I can totally relate.Becky and her husband Ben,are the same way.Ben is very hot natured.I was able to hang out with them on Saturday for a while.I thuroughly enjoyed my visit.She too got one of the good ones.When I was getting ready to leave,they were yelling at each other.I mean yelling,with the underline of humor.She was freezing,and went to bump the heater up a few degrees.He had a come apart.Apparnetly their agreement is that they keep it between 67-and 70 in winter,and if she turns it up more than that,he can turn on the air conditioner.I was howling laughing at them!Id never seen them so loud with each other! I knew it was not a "real" fight,but they were both so adamant about thier sides of the thermostat.I howled even more.She is cold,he is hot,so she covers up!I spent Saturday night at the inlaws.Yesterday morning,after observing my friends and other family members,I asked them how it worked at their house.On the 15th they will celebrate their 29th year of marriage,so I think they should be experts at each other by now,lol.MIL said shes pretty much oblivious to temperature unless its extreme one way or the other.FIL,on the other hand is pretty hot natured.But at night to sleep,she like it cold,and he likes it warm.Hers goes back to not having a heater in her room as a kid,and FIL,had a wall heater that he and his brother turned on to sleep all toasty.Im not sure who "wins" in that situation.But I do know she throws her covers off.She sleeps in jammies,and he,well,not nude,but barely clothed.I didnt really want to go there with them.lol.
So,it seems to be a pretty divided issue.One is cold,the other one is hot.Night time seems to be the most debated.Day time,your busy,going about daily things.But at night,you're still.And for most of them ones freezing and the other is sweltering.
At our house it is the exact same.Im warm blooded,as is Neil.But At night,I like a cool house and he likes it to be warm.I sleep in a tee in most weather and thats all,but in winter I slide on some thin jammie bottoms.Neil,he sleeps in his boxers and nothing else,no matter the season.He gripes b/c the kids are shivering and turning blue at night.I disagree and put them in jammies complete with socks,and blankets.Jake sleeps with 2 blankets.Levi sleeps hot like me,so even though hes completely clothed and covered,he wakes up warm,so he kicks off his blanket.I tell Neil I turn it down to 68 at night,to save energy.He says I should turn it to 68 at day,b/c Im up and moving.It is a constant disagreement around here.Right now its winter,and Ive had the heat up during the day,so since he normally sleeps during the day,hes fine.But when hes home,he wants the heat no lower than 70 to sleep.May sound odd,but if I turn it down just before I go to bed,and he stays up,he will turn it up.{its very chilly by the front windows where our couch is,and where he perches after we all go to bed}.I will wake up!From a dead sleep and comence to bitching about how hot it is.I literally will sweat,and I cant stand that when I sleep!So then the fight is on at 2 am sometimes.It is a never ending battle.And after seeing it first hand over the weekend with my people,I know I'm not alone.Nobody really wins in the situation either.I tell Neil to put on some clothes when he sleeps,and he says he cant sleep in clothes,He tells me to sleep without any on,and I tell him i cant.And round and round we go! It never freaking ends!!!It keeps things realatively humerous,but when I get mad from waking up from a deep sleep drenched in sweat,I hold a grudge.And since hes been shivering on the couch,even under a blanket,he holds one too.I hope that in the rest of our lives we are able to compromise on this issue,but I doubt it.....lol.

Ketchup is a Vegetable,Right?

Thanks to Old Man Winter,we've been iced and snowed in the past couple of days.I think,in fact,that the school system has exceeded their allotment,and now we will be into some spring break.And its only January.I think "Old Man Winter" is a menopausal lady with a hot flash,but I dont think that its PC to say that on the news.So,we've been cooped up some more.Except Jake,and Neil.So when I say cooped up I mean,me and Levi.Yes,I was a bad Mama and didnt bundle the little monkey up to play in the snow.Maybe I will later today,since Neil is off and can play too.Todays projected hi is 39,but right now it feels like 19.Thats cold.So Im looking out the window at Natures Beauty to some,Wrath to others.
Meanwhile,Im haivng trouble with Levi and eating.He has perfected BLLEEEKKKK! shaking his head,clamping his mouth shut,and letting us know,it just aint good.Per Neils request a while back when we were trying something new all the time,Ive cut back on that.Im adapting oldies,but goodies to lower fat,and they cant seem to tell.We eat the normal fare,pork,pinto beans,meat loaf,cabbage,spagettii,stuff like that.No more Kugels for us,at least not for a while.Its meat and taters.But I like color,so we have to have something green.I do the normal,or what I percieve as normal,meat,carb,veggies kind of supper meals.Levi is in total revolt.hes not fond of green beans,almost any way I fix them.Sometimes I use onion and some beef bullion,other times I use some vinegar and sugar and bacon.The rest of us eat em.I love cabbage too.My gang loves it.Its cheap,and to me versitle.I normaly "fry" it.With a bit of onion,some pork,maple syrup and apple cider vinegar.We can eat a whole head like that.But not Levi.Ive found he will eat it boiled and thats about it.Oh,I can understand the bold flavors of vinegar him not liking.Thats fine.But almost everything at the dinner table these days gets the bleek.even stuff hes liked beofre,or heck,even yesterday. He loves bread,and fruits,and last night ate some canndied carrots.I think giving him pop tarts for a quick breakfast has been a mistake.But he loves them.Hes very active,so hes not really fat either.Oh,he's a moose,but hes just big all over.He used to LOVE bananas.I craved them almost from the day I found out i was pregnant with him.Banana's and banana flavored stuff.I couldnt get enough of it.He normally eats one a day.Not lately.I think he may be a bit burnt out on them.He loves apples,grapes,pears,stuff like that.So I know hes getting the nutrients he needs.Hes not loosing weight.Hes just become this tyranical picky eater!I didnt have this problem with Jake.There are very few things I know he does not like,so I dont make him eat them.But he will say,Well,I used to not like that,but maybe I will now.so he at least tries anything once.With Levi it started one night when I cooked baked fish,sweet potato salad and green peas.He sat there,fork in hand,ready to dig in,and tried everything.And to everything there was a bleek.Ok,so all of us did that night too,aside from the peas.But thats when I can pin point that it began.I googled picky toddlers this morning.the advice is not to worry,its normal.They know when theyre hungrey and will eat when they are,give them a variety of foods,set a good example by eating your veggies too,and on and on.I do that.we show him how good and yummy the supper is,only to be met with head shakes,and face squinching and body shakes.Im serious!He munches during the day.I give him breakfast,a morning snack,lunch after nap,a mid afternoon snack and supper.and even sometimes,since we eat kinda early,I give him an after supper snck too,right at bed time.I dont mean junk either.sure he gets a few cookies once in a while,but not candy and stuff.I know sometimes hes starving before it gets supper time,so i have to give him a late snack,adn then hes not hungrey at supper.I can understand that,and then later,he will go back to his plate at the table,and eat.So,Im not forcing him to eat when hes not hungrey.and trust me,he may not talk well,but hes good at saying eat and pointing,and when you ask him if he wants fruit snacks he nods or shakes his head.or says Sopngebob,which means yogurt,{i buy the gogurt tubes}Or cheese,or whatever he can think that he wants.Some of it,may be,the attention he gets.One of the articles I sped read disccused pushing boundaries,and getting attention.at the supper table,he normaly has all 3 of us there,to talk to.He even will join in the conversation with his bable.We eat 6 out of 7 suppers a week at the table as a family.Its important to me to do that with my family.Very 1950's I know.But its how we like it.On the nights Neil works,its about the only time we have as a family to be all toghether in the same place.So 2 nights ago,we all sat down to a normal meal,I had made before.It was cold out,and the food was hearty.Levi bleeked at all of it.Including green peas he normally shovels in.So after him distracting all of us from our meal,I took his plate of food he was smearing around,and on the table and I put him down.The TV is not on during supper time,so I didnt turn it on then either.But he entertained himself just fine.But then last night,we had a revamped version of the same food,but with carrots instead of peas.and rice instead of egg noodles.{id made beef stroganoff}.He loves rice,{i use brown instant},so I put very little beef stuff over it,and even put cheese on it too,since I know he loves it.NOPE!not a chance.So after racing my brain,the words of Neils best buddy Matt came to mind."Ketchup is a vegetable".Hed asked me to make him a meatloaf on one fo his trips up here to help work in the yard.When I told him I put shredded carrots in it,and whatever else veggie I could hide,he asked me to make something else.lol.I was like,but Matt,you gotta get some veggies in it.Thats when he told me Ketchup was a veg.So Jake got out the bottle last night,and Levi ate his dinner.I read the bottle seriously for the first time ever.aside from lycopine,there is no real nutriatve value to ketchup!it has carbs,sugars,and sodium.But he ate it! So,I learned a lesson last night.One I didnt know I needed to learn.If I put ketchup on it,he will more than likely eat it!
We shall see how tonights meal turns out.Im thinking isnce we're all here cooped up Ill make a pot of chicken noodle soup.And if I have to disguise the celery,carrots and onion with a squirt,I will! And ill mix in a lot of cornbread too,that way its ketchupy mush.Man that sounds gross,but whatever works,right?