Today,I AM A true DOmestic Godess

Just a few minutes ago I made my first ever batch of home grown laundry detergent.Yes,I did! It was easy! the ingredints simple,and cheap,and readily available in my area.{but at diffrent stores}. So in light of the economy,and things not getting any cheaper,and Niel not getting any over time,Ive had to get even more frugal.{ I say this today,after yesterday's Cruise blog,go figure.I gotta cut corners to pay for the dern thing!} So yesterday I googled and googled and googled somemore.After reading a ton of diffrent recipes,it came down to 3 basic ingredients.

Washing Soda ~ available in West Tn at Kroger
Borax~ everywhere,even in PoDunk where we live,&
A Bar of soap~ Some used Ivory,others,Zote,and any other kind you prefer.

Yesterday in my googling one lady reccomended airing out your bar of soap.Esp if you're going to be making the powdered kind,like I intended to do. So,I opend up this big pink bar of Zote that cost me .75 at SaveALot,and put it on the back steps.Last evening,just at dark,I went to retrieve my now freshly aired soap bar.ANd it was NOT there.The paper wrapper was in the back yard,but the bright pink bar was nowhere to be found.The dog had been let off her chain yesterday,so I went looking where I had seen her digging.Nope,Not there. I looked all over my yard! It was MIA.I thought,how in the hell could I miss seeing a big hot pink bar of soap? I aksed Jake if he had seen it.His reply was simple.Yes,he had.In the next door neighbors yard! And when I looked out the bathroom window,I saw it glowing in the twilight.The dog had taken it,but I was not looking in the right places.So,I retrieved the errant bar of Zote,complete with Dog teeth marks,and grass,and brought it home.I laid it on the counter to air out even further.Thinking it would crumble on my grater today.
UM WRONG. I think dog saliva has binding abilites unknown to man. The grass was dug in deep.Almost as deep as the cainine marks.So I managed to scrape it off. Ever in Racheal Ray form,I laid out the other items I needed. Essential oil, washing soda ,Borax,and baking soda. I began to grate the soap and these prettty pink ribbons appeared! Ahhhh,purdy....But they were too soft.So I broke out the handy dandy mini chopper. I measured the slivers to be sure I had 1 cup. I tossed them in for a good zap! UM NO.It looked like cheese curds stuck to the bottom of this thing. {Its supposed to be very fine for powedered det.}.THen a LIGHTBULB!
I thought I would go ahead and mix in my dry stuff and essential oil in the coffee can that I had planned to store it in.I mixed and Mixed. And SNeeezed and Sneezed.I already had the window open,per someone elses suggestion.Then the lightbulb plan came into play.I put the detergent,in 2 sperate batches,back into the mini chopper.Then I thought,Shit! Where am I gonna put the now refined stuff? Lightbulb! The Daisy sour cream container! I keep those things to double as tupperware.We're hi class,let me tell ya!
Well,after I zapped and Zapped the first batch,it didnt look very diffrent.When I took off the top I noticed the slivers were still curdled looking,only smaller. Screw it!!!I poured it into the large Daisy tub,and zapped the 2nd batch.It all fit! Yay,more space saving tips,brought to you by Sarah! SO,since I had made this lavender,lemon, concoction that promised to clean my fonkey clothes and what not,I had to start a load.I knew from googling that it would not sudz up.Ok,fine,.but another reccomendation was to run hot water in the washer for just a minute or so,so it would help break down the slivers.Did that! I didnt see any breakdown.Just hot pink floaties....Theres some sheets in there we let the dog sleep on,a teeny rug from the ktichen and one of Jakes sleeping bags.So we will see if the FONK is gone.
I also made up some new fabric softener yesterday too.Ive been just adding baking soda to my Gain,and vinegar in my downy ball.The clothes dont reek,but I do.Im a spiller! So I found a super easy recipe to use vinegar,hot water,and hair conditioner. if you know me personally,you know that Im sensative to stuff,and I always have extra crap like that around.So,I used some stuff that makes my head itch,and made up a batch. We will see......
But today,I feel like a Godess.Even in my braless,pajama clad state!!!I was going to mop the floor in just a minute,but I will have to teach Neil a lesson when he gets up.A Libman wonder mop head will not dry,even outside,if you dont move the sqeeze part up,and let the mop head hang.So since the wind is blowing here to beat the band {when is it not,really?} I hope it will dry out and I can mop tomorrow.I guess Im done for the day.....


3/6/09 Update! IT worked! The FONK is GONE!!!!

Ketchup is a Vegetable,Right?

Thanks to Old Man Winter,we've been iced and snowed in the past couple of days.I think,in fact,that the school system has exceeded their allotment,and now we will be into some spring break.And its only January.I think "Old Man Winter" is a menopausal lady with a hot flash,but I dont think that its PC to say that on the news.So,we've been cooped up some more.Except Jake,and Neil.So when I say cooped up I mean,me and Levi.Yes,I was a bad Mama and didnt bundle the little monkey up to play in the snow.Maybe I will later today,since Neil is off and can play too.Todays projected hi is 39,but right now it feels like 19.Thats cold.So Im looking out the window at Natures Beauty to some,Wrath to others.
Meanwhile,Im haivng trouble with Levi and eating.He has perfected BLLEEEKKKK! shaking his head,clamping his mouth shut,and letting us know,it just aint good.Per Neils request a while back when we were trying something new all the time,Ive cut back on that.Im adapting oldies,but goodies to lower fat,and they cant seem to tell.We eat the normal fare,pork,pinto beans,meat loaf,cabbage,spagettii,stuff like that.No more Kugels for us,at least not for a while.Its meat and taters.But I like color,so we have to have something green.I do the normal,or what I percieve as normal,meat,carb,veggies kind of supper meals.Levi is in total revolt.hes not fond of green beans,almost any way I fix them.Sometimes I use onion and some beef bullion,other times I use some vinegar and sugar and bacon.The rest of us eat em.I love cabbage too.My gang loves it.Its cheap,and to me versitle.I normaly "fry" it.With a bit of onion,some pork,maple syrup and apple cider vinegar.We can eat a whole head like that.But not Levi.Ive found he will eat it boiled and thats about it.Oh,I can understand the bold flavors of vinegar him not liking.Thats fine.But almost everything at the dinner table these days gets the bleek.even stuff hes liked beofre,or heck,even yesterday. He loves bread,and fruits,and last night ate some canndied carrots.I think giving him pop tarts for a quick breakfast has been a mistake.But he loves them.Hes very active,so hes not really fat either.Oh,he's a moose,but hes just big all over.He used to LOVE bananas.I craved them almost from the day I found out i was pregnant with him.Banana's and banana flavored stuff.I couldnt get enough of it.He normally eats one a day.Not lately.I think he may be a bit burnt out on them.He loves apples,grapes,pears,stuff like that.So I know hes getting the nutrients he needs.Hes not loosing weight.Hes just become this tyranical picky eater!I didnt have this problem with Jake.There are very few things I know he does not like,so I dont make him eat them.But he will say,Well,I used to not like that,but maybe I will now.so he at least tries anything once.With Levi it started one night when I cooked baked fish,sweet potato salad and green peas.He sat there,fork in hand,ready to dig in,and tried everything.And to everything there was a bleek.Ok,so all of us did that night too,aside from the peas.But thats when I can pin point that it began.I googled picky toddlers this morning.the advice is not to worry,its normal.They know when theyre hungrey and will eat when they are,give them a variety of foods,set a good example by eating your veggies too,and on and on.I do that.we show him how good and yummy the supper is,only to be met with head shakes,and face squinching and body shakes.Im serious!He munches during the day.I give him breakfast,a morning snack,lunch after nap,a mid afternoon snack and supper.and even sometimes,since we eat kinda early,I give him an after supper snck too,right at bed time.I dont mean junk either.sure he gets a few cookies once in a while,but not candy and stuff.I know sometimes hes starving before it gets supper time,so i have to give him a late snack,adn then hes not hungrey at supper.I can understand that,and then later,he will go back to his plate at the table,and eat.So,Im not forcing him to eat when hes not hungrey.and trust me,he may not talk well,but hes good at saying eat and pointing,and when you ask him if he wants fruit snacks he nods or shakes his head.or says Sopngebob,which means yogurt,{i buy the gogurt tubes}Or cheese,or whatever he can think that he wants.Some of it,may be,the attention he gets.One of the articles I sped read disccused pushing boundaries,and getting attention.at the supper table,he normaly has all 3 of us there,to talk to.He even will join in the conversation with his bable.We eat 6 out of 7 suppers a week at the table as a family.Its important to me to do that with my family.Very 1950's I know.But its how we like it.On the nights Neil works,its about the only time we have as a family to be all toghether in the same place.So 2 nights ago,we all sat down to a normal meal,I had made before.It was cold out,and the food was hearty.Levi bleeked at all of it.Including green peas he normally shovels in.So after him distracting all of us from our meal,I took his plate of food he was smearing around,and on the table and I put him down.The TV is not on during supper time,so I didnt turn it on then either.But he entertained himself just fine.But then last night,we had a revamped version of the same food,but with carrots instead of peas.and rice instead of egg noodles.{id made beef stroganoff}.He loves rice,{i use brown instant},so I put very little beef stuff over it,and even put cheese on it too,since I know he loves it.NOPE!not a chance.So after racing my brain,the words of Neils best buddy Matt came to mind."Ketchup is a vegetable".Hed asked me to make him a meatloaf on one fo his trips up here to help work in the yard.When I told him I put shredded carrots in it,and whatever else veggie I could hide,he asked me to make something else.lol.I was like,but Matt,you gotta get some veggies in it.Thats when he told me Ketchup was a veg.So Jake got out the bottle last night,and Levi ate his dinner.I read the bottle seriously for the first time ever.aside from lycopine,there is no real nutriatve value to ketchup!it has carbs,sugars,and sodium.But he ate it! So,I learned a lesson last night.One I didnt know I needed to learn.If I put ketchup on it,he will more than likely eat it!
We shall see how tonights meal turns out.Im thinking isnce we're all here cooped up Ill make a pot of chicken noodle soup.And if I have to disguise the celery,carrots and onion with a squirt,I will! And ill mix in a lot of cornbread too,that way its ketchupy mush.Man that sounds gross,but whatever works,right?

Some of my thoughts on Marriage

So,right now in my life I know several couples who are having marital issues.Some have been married a long time,others have not.They vent out their frustrations to me.These are my women friends,so I only have a womans perspective on them.I personaly have been married before,and divorced.It was the best thing Ive ever done for me,besides having my babies,and my current marriage.In my divorce all those years ago,I learned I could stand on my own 2 feet,and make it.I had to work hard,and with help from family and firends to prove this to myself.The common issue Im hearing is that one is giving more than the other.And some of them,one spouce loves the other beyond belief and the other person does not seem to care too much.My conversations of late have been one sided,but I try to see the others side too and even at times,play devils advocate.To maybe put some perspective to them.I think some of the issues are,the expectaions of one spouse are diffrent than the others.What the wife expects the husband to do is not being done and vice versa.One person giving it all,and another just simply being there will not make it work.It takes 100% on both parties.Neil and I have had our ups and downs to be sure.But we have been able to talk about them and work out our issues.After talking to my friends,he and I have it pretty great.In marriage,you have to trust the other person.That means,no matter how hurt youve been in the past,you have to trust that your husband wont do anything without you that he wouldnt do with you.SOme things sometimes you wish he wouldnt.Like farting and fanning the covers,beer burping,and things of that nature.I call them cave man things,lol.Those should be reserved for just the guys.And we women shouldnt talk about bikinni waxes,and menstral cramps,and child brith.Guys dont care how long our firends were in labor or how long they had to push.they just want to know the outcome,moma nd baby healthy.Women want details.Men dont care.{not all men,and not in all subjects either,Im talking women talk.}I love Neil with every core of my being.Sometimes ppl dont understand that I put him first,even over my kids.If i just said that to you,you may think my kids dont rate,OH THEY DO.But I am also married to someone who wont do anything that wouldnt be considerate of my kids needs,even before their own.Ive heard,I cant be with someone who does not love me.Truer words have never been spoken.And its more than just saying I love you.Its the little things.Those things you toss out in anger when your arguing.they matter.As does Sex.I believe that that is one of the most wonderul parts of marriage.But it is not all the glue that holds it toghether.you can have a great sex life,and distain your spouce.Or you can haev a non existant one,but be madly in love.The marriage bed is a sacred place to me.Where you and your husband can do whatever you want with and to each other,and its not gonna get out all over town that you got a lil kinky.Sure,I may go to a few close friends and complainwhen we go through a dry spell,but its jsut to get ideas to spice it up.And when the dry spell is over,they wont know what ideas I used.Another thins is,you have to talk to each other.not yell,condesend,or nag.Sometimes Neil will tell me Im nagging him,and I dont even know thats what Im doing,nor do I think its what im doing.But if he feels that way,then Im glad he tells me,so I can stop.I think ppl just get so wrapped up int he day to day living,mowing the yard,cooking supper and doing the laundry that they forget they have a built in firend right there to vent it all out to.Some say ,well I just cant talk to him about that.Bull,You can.I mean they live with you,they can tell if soemthing is amiss,so who better to talk to than your husband?You dont know,maybe he feels the same way you do.It may be about diffrent things,like slacking off on housework,or yelling too much,but he will have his own things he wants to talk to you about.You have to be firends with your spouse.Neil is the only man I ever really loved Ican call my friend.I guess,that means I only had a taste of love and not the real thing until I met him.Some ppl believe in "the one".that one god preordained for you.I dont know that I believe that.I think there are diffrent ppl and diffrent realtionships for diffrent phases in your life.But when youve been through enough crap with other ppl to know what kind of person you do or dont want,then you settle down.Ppl change over time.But in marriage,you have to change tohgether.They say,Oh my spouce has changed.Im sure they have,havent you?I think life is about changing.Fundamentaly your still the same person.Your personality is the same,but likes and dislikes will change.You just have to talk to each other about it and GROW.If neither one of you can find a common ground,after trying,I mean BOTH parties,then if it still wont work,then you move on.And NO not with someone else,with YOurself.After a lenghty relationship or marriage,youve changed,youve hopefully grown up.I believe that if a party cheats,then there is your out.The trust you work hard to build is broken.Im not saying that once they do it,they will keep doing it.But I dont think you can ever trust that person again.So in the back of your mind,when your laying in bed at night,you would remeber that.I couldnt get past it.And to me thats a very valid reason to get divorced.ANd cheating to me and Neil both is not evn sleeping with someone else,but conversations with someone.Things you wouldnt say in front of your husband,b/c you have something to hide.thats wrong.we talked about all these things before we married.I ahd a lot of time to figure out what I wanted.And Im so glad God gave him to me.He and my children are my most precious gifts,He has ever given me.Life is way too short to spend it being unhappy.And if someone has exhausted themselves,and given their marriage their all and it still does not work,then its time to walk away.Point blank.At the time in your life when you married them,it was the right thing for you and he to do.But things happen that can't be undone.Ppl say and do things that sometimes can be moved forward from in that realtionship.But you do have to forgive them,if they ask you to.Its what the Bible says to do.But God does not want us miserable.
Im getting off my soap box.No,I dont have a "perfect " marriage.Who does.No matter how much you love someone,you'll want to brain them sometimes.Its just natural,lol.But NOT doing it,and working it out makes all the bull worth it.Growing together in love for the rest of your life.

Going Back to California!

Ok,So I recieved a wonderful early Christmas gift on my birthday none the less.An unnamed benefactor took pitty on our poor asses and gracously bought me a plane ticket to go see my brother and his family in southern Cali.Ive been down in the dumps that I have a newphew Ive never met before.And a wonderful sister in law Ive only gotten to spend a few hours with,and a brother any sister would want!Grwoing up we tried to kill each other a time or two,but who didnt.he took off out there,mad at the world and the most wonderfult hing happend to him.He fell in love.in fact we share the same anniversary,same year and everything.Feb 1 is a great day to get married.My whole family has been out there since the nephews arrival last July but me and mine.We're poor,like Ive said,and it just has not been possible.Neil gave me the choice to go to Philly or Cali,and since Cali was twice as expensive I chose Philly.Then I found a cheap ticket and wha la,a benefactor agreed to buy the ticket!So OMG Levi and I are going to Cali.Ive never flown wiht either of my kids before.Jake has been a lot of places,Houston,Iowa,Tampa to name a few,but ewe've always been in a car.Made for some long road trips,but hes good about that.Levi on the other hand gets antsy.Taking advantage of they fly in your lap for free until 2,I decided to take him with me.Jake had a chance to go,but decied he wanted to stay home with Neil and do man things.He put it to me like this,I get to spend time with him,and he dont.So Jake is really looking forward to a weekend of beenie weanies,frozen pizza,hunting and farting.I however am not looking forward to airports and plane rides with a child who is busy!Ive googled traveling with a 16 mnth old,and theres mixed results.Some say its wonderful,if they sleep,others are more blunt and say it will be hell.Ive gotten advice from my myspace friends who have been more realitic and from experience.They say head phones and gummy things are great,but waiting is not.Assent ans decent is not fun either.So the pacifier,we call it a sucker,is not going until after we return home.The ped. office said no to dramamine but yes to bynadryl.So its not cruel and unusal punsihment.THe dr office and other moms have said to test the bynadryl before hand to make sure it wont hype him up.I did that at 4 am after 3 hrs of crying and restless ness.Its now almost 9 and hes still snoozing.So,I dont want to conk him out,jsut chill him out a bit.So Im thinking 1/2 a tsp will do the trick.Im sure hell feel my nervus vibes too.i noramlly take a xanax before hand to counter act the coffee and smokes I chained and drained on the way to the airport.Its right at a 3 hr drive to the Nashville airport and 2 1/2 to the memphis airport.But flying outta Memphis was close to 500 bucks.Out of the question.So N-ville it is.Ive done it before too when I went to Philly.HTe roads were clear during my waaay early morning ride there and this time I fly out at 8 versus 6.So I dont have to leave at 1,I can wait till 3ish.I am a very spontaneous person,kind ready to go whenever,but honestly I like to be prepared.SO this trip I will be cking to see if Fox goes down ont heir compact car rates,I opted for a compact versu econo to be sure I got 4 doors for the 2 hr drive east.I cant wait to go back to the beach where the feet pics all began and take more,and see Levi in the sand,albeit a brief trip to the beach,Ill be anxious to get to the dessert to meet my nephew!I just ciant wait! THeres a 2 hr layover in houston,adn so Levi acan run his little heart out up and down the terminal until we board for the 3 plus hr flight to San Deigo.Jake is not jealus at all,esp when I told him hed been alot more places than Levi,just not on a plane.SOme of those raod trips I wish we'd flown!Im so excited and will be googling even more as our early Oct departure date nears!!!!

THe Gravatational Pull between a Woman and a Man.

The great cowboy poet/singer Chris LeDoux sang,"Aint't nothing better,baby,aint nothing worse.Study after study nobody understands the gravatational pull between a woman and a man".That bout sums it up.Nobody flat understands this need for the opposite sex.Some say its concertated by God in the garden of Eden.True,but Adam and Eve only got to pick each other.There are thousands od lonely hearts out there.I met Neil on Eharmony.com.He was my first match,and we just went for it.The more our communcation got on the site,I found out hed been in band in high school.BAND,for cryin out loud!I may have been a geek,but not a band geek.I almost quit talking to him after that.Snobby I know.But I hadnt heard his voice yet,nor seen his pitcure.SOme say looks dont matter.BUll.THey do.But the man of your lucid dreams dont look like George Clooney neither.I was like a lot of women,kinda looking for a husband.No matter the tough facade,I wanted happily ever after dammit.Yeah,I was self sufficent,but something was missing.That friendship that your girls cant provide,b/c youre not sleeping with them lol.That intamacy.Well,as a couple of weeks progreesed Neil and I talked on the phone and OMG.He has the sexiest voice ever!And I had seen his picture too.Not too shabby there either.I was more atracted to him after he became one of many ppl they matched me with 29 demenions of compatability.We met in a parking garage in downtown Memphis.Not the most ideal setting for the love of my life to walk in,but he did.We met for our first date,and both ordered the same thing to eat,lol.I was 24 and waaay past,"i'll just have a salad,thanks."Im a big girl,so I like food,inlcuding messy ruben sandwiches from a pub.There was great chemistry from the start.Our first date found us holding hands,making out in the rain,and him telling his buddy I was hot.Its been up hill ever since.Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we are living the dream.That dream meaning 2 kids,mortagage and living an hour from his nearest realative.I had resigned my self to never meeting my country boy with brains.A freind told me Id be a long time searching for him.Wrong.I'd just been looking in the wrong places.Brings to mind another country song....By Don Williams...We have a friendship with depht Ive never had with a man.a few feamles,yes,but never a man.He loves me,and I love him.Pure and simple.Yeah,we swqaubble someitmes.But honestly,who hasn't looked at their husband and thought,I hope you go first,lol.He cuts the yard,adn I wash his drawers.He makes the money and I try to spend it in a way that benefits our family.{him too}We have tons in common and tons of diffrences.It gives us stuff to talk about,and stuff we can learn from each other.THere is a strong pull between us and it just gets better as time moseys along.

I am the grill Master

Ok,so being a girl has its perks.Im all for equality in gender and race and all that crap,but....There are some advantages to having a decent cup size or skinny ass.I have the decent cup size ,but my ass needs a back up warning.{or so my uncle told me when i was a child of 14,lol.}Neil has been the best husband in the world lately and i wanted to show my appreciation to him.He works nights,so on his day off I let him sleep until 6:30 pm,so he could get some rest.I hit the grocery store after picking up Jake from school.I wanted a Paula Deen esque feast for my man.What better way to do that than with Meat and taters.I got some strip steaks,and bratwurst and baking potato's and some romanine for a ceasar salad {i sooo reccomend Krafts Ceasar vinegrette.I normaly make those myself,but for ceasar,I aint smooshin anchovies,aint happening}.There were 3 bags of Kingsford on the retrashed patio and I was determined to grill for my man.I have NEVER in almost 27 years had ANY luck with a grill.Its a man job,like pumping gas and hauling out the trash.So I built my coals in the pyramid shape and doused them with the teeny bit of lighter fluid I had.We normaly have too much of that and no charcoal.go figure.I neglected to inform ya'll that the wind is blowing at hurricane force gust,even though it was a georgus and cool day round here.So I start the fire,or so I thought.I had cleaned out the grill and with Jakes watchful eyes and arms we scraped the remnats of dinners past.Got it all good,right.Wrong.The fire kept going out.I managed to hunt down another smidge ina bottle of lighter fluid and douse the charcaol yet again.When I lit it,I could have sworn My bushy brows would never grow back.It flamed up with a big whoosh that scared the shit out of me.But alas it still didnt catch.then being hte resourceful southern woman that I am,i went hunting for sticks.We southernors like hickory flavor and I just so happen to have a tree int he back yard.I knew green sticks wouldnt burn,so I dug around thru the poison ivy for dry branches.{nother prodject for a later date is buring all the dang weeds and over gorwth int he back of our yard so we can actually enjoy our mature trees that line our back ditch}.I d=found some sticks that I hoped were hickory,or at least would burna nd I tosed them in.no avail.I got them abck out and lit a dixie napkin and threw them in.and then what to my wandering eyes did appear but FLAMES.flames and the smell of burinign wood and napkin.Hell yeah! so like any grill novice I closed the grill in hopes that the fire would beigin roaring and I could grill my man his steak.uh uh.not happening.i considered the finger nail polish remover and even gas as another igniter since the hunt for more lighter fluid turned up emptyhanded.so I said screw it {notice one of my favorite sayings?}and opend the grill and resigned myslef to broiling the steaks,,which is what I had to do the first time a while back when I had this genious idea to grill for Neil.I only learn things the hard way,cant ya tell?well after I sat down and fired upa marlboro the wonderful scent of fire burned my nostrils.The fire was cathcing!So using some redneck engenuity,I laid an outdorr chair on its side to blcok the bottom of our handy half rusted out walmart grill,and turned it around so the flames were not in direct contact of the way the wind was blowing.Yall,I had fire!hosuton we have ignntion,and no other flamable fluids were needed,thank goodness cuz im thinking finger nail polish remover would mess up my whole hickory thang.a while later tha brats went on.They didnt take long.THen the cavalry called,his name is my father in law.i didnt even ask him whats up,I blurted out my seemingly failed attempts to be a she woman and he laughed at me.he gave me some good pointers,a bit too late of you ask me.But hey any help helps and Neil didnt have to know I contacted another grill master for help.lol.So I went and woke him up finally.I wanted to wait till he was coherant beofre putting our cheap thin strip steaks ont he grill.He got up at the thought of me burinign down the hosue or singeing my brows.{it owuld just save us 4 bucks so i didnt have to get em waxed for a while}.He came outside and stracjhed his head and looked at the grill and sleepily replied htat my fire was ready for the steaks,but owndered why there were sticks smoldering in the grill.I told him it was for flavor....So the steaks went on and I sent him in to get the salad ready and Jake to wash up.Then the steaks were ready and the monent of truth had arrived.OMG to me they were good.Neil was impressed at my first true attmept to grill anything sussefully.We didnt get ecoli or anything and jake informed me that my Brats were as good as Daddys.COnsidering that Neil is truly the grill master around here,I took it as a compliment.Its not something i will be doing any time soon int he near future.I learned truly why women stay in the kitchen and gossip and guys drink beer outside and talk about guns.I know in a pinch or sever PMS craving I can grill,but we all have our places in this family.

Back to White Trash in 2 days Flat.

Ok,So Neil and I and Jake worked our butts off this weekend in the yard and house getting it spic and span.What a waste of time!We scrubbed our patio,and carport.Hauled off dried grass so long it could have been hay for numerus gerbals all winter{Neil hates to mow and I itch for 2 days when I do.}He drilled holes i the bottom of a yard sale toy box so water would drain,and we'd have a place for the outdoor toys.We had them all the riding toys neat and lined up beside it.Ciggeratte buts picked up and beer bottles disposed of in the tub that the crepe myrtle came in,Im using it for an under the patio table trash can.The dishes were done,my vintage Homer Laughlin bowls washed by hand and everythign else that aint dishwasher safe.the Lr had been vacumed after Neil fixed the dang thing.{We bought a Bissel Heatlthy home with money from a wedding gift,dont waste that money,Get a DYSON.Its a mood point here,I dont wanna talk about it.}Floors wer mopped,windows cleaned.All for what I ask?Not a dam thing.All that hard work was over the weekend.Today is Wed and we're back to white trash around here.The toys are strewn everywhere,the LR and Kitchen floor look like Huuricane Levi hit it with a smashed tube of Ritz and banana to boot,and the patio...lets jsut say,the smoke butts are back ont he ground and gerbal fodder is all around again.I feel like i caint win.So now I say screw it,Ill just join em.keep the dishes done so DHS cant get called,cut the grass when we can see it at the window line and let Levi treck his mayhem and whatnot all aroundFOr those of my friends who are clean freaks I pitty them,lol.Bring on a good mess well earned any day.As for me and my folk we will live in Chaos,cuz no matter how hard we try,it siwrls aorund us like the Roadrunner clouds from Tv.

Watermellon Rind Preserves

SOoOO in my constant quest to be a true domestic godess Ive been making jam and jelly recently to take advantage of the summers bounty.Ive invented my own jam and jelly recipes.I made delicious strawberry,succesfully.Ive made orange maramalade,NOT succesfully.And lately Its been watermellon stuffs.To me there are few things better than a big ole slice of sun warmed,fresh from the patch watermellon.mmm.So I made watermellon/grape jelly.It was just WM but it never set and was too sweet,so not to waste anything after amking homeade grape jelly I added the rest of the juice to the pot.It gave it some wang at the end and is kick ass on a bisciut.Even the Whopping kind.{think canned you have to whop on the ocunter to open,but dont whop too hard,or you will have dough all over the kitchen.Thank goodness for the ten second rule.}.So,this time at the request of Neils aging grandad,I made watermellon Rind preserves.It truly is a pain in the ass.Specially since Ive never made it before.Not to waste,yet again,i hacked upt he watermellona nd cooked it down for jelly juice.we hacked,peeled,adn diced watermellon hide.I followed Grandads half cocked directions and said a prayer.Welp after cooking the boiling cauldron of sugar and rind it didnt quite look thick enough,so I took off the top and cooked some more.About 2 hours.By now my house smells like corn.Neil came up with that and we're sticking to it.Fonked up my whole house.Apparently one of the airvents that permeates the house is over the stove.this can be useful when waking up to cinnamon rolls or makeing homeade air freshener with cinnamon and cloves,but not so much on WM preserves.SO then after consulting with MY grandmother,I decided it was time to jar em up.I had let it cook so long I could have made hard candy.I had very little syrup left to pour over the now almost candied rinds.So into jars this small batch that took forever to make went.Upon opening a jar,its so thick you cant hardly scoop it out.Its like taffy texture,but not creamy.Think stiff sugar.We will see today if the fruits of our labor,I got neil to Help since it was HIS grandad who asked for em,if he likes them.I guess the women who thought of this had to use EVERYTHING they had.I guess Im blessed that I can toss my rinds into the tree line and make a sweetish supper for ants and other varmits that like watermellon.THe dog,we learned does NOT.I guess its all lessons learned.

Jake and Levi

GOd gave me 2 boys to be a Mama to.He gave them to me and I adore them.Jake is 7 and is my mini me.though he looks a bit like my exhusband he is all me in the personality dept.I was a single mom to him from basically birth.Though my family lived closer to me,as did my ex family{I hate calling them that cuz to me we will always be family,exhusband exlcuded of cource}.So there were always babysitters.I didnt have to share him with anyone on a daily basis.I had to be mom and Dad.Had to comend and condem.I know in todays time its not cool to spank your kids,but I do.Though it is not the answer for every crime,it get the point across when you need it to.I hate child abusers,b/c there is a line you do not cross.Anyway.Jake is one of the funniest,smartest,enthususatic children you will ever meet.He and I grew up together,since I had him when I was 19.THe day he was born my Mom became the smartest person I knew.Since kids dont come with intruction Manuals,Dr.Spock be damed.ANd honestly my biggest suprise about motherhood was that you couldnt send them home.They were there and you had to figure out what they were screaming at you.With Levi,its been easier on some levels b/c Ive done the sleepless nights,diaper changes,and breast and bottle feedings.But Levi is his own person.Hes my wide open child and Jake has an old soul.Jake has done some silly things in his 7 years.He swallowed a quarter once when his preschool teacher told him to put it up.We had to wait it out and give him prune juice.Hes had 3 sets of stiches.My comments to him when he yelps in pain is,Are ya bleeding?Most of the time he is,poor kid.Hes red headed and wears glasses.to some kids theyd get picked on for that,but not my Jake.He embraces it and uses his charm he gets from both me and the ex to sweet talk.He has 3 girlfirends,some of them dont even know theyre his girlfriends.He peed on the play ground at preschool,and in the front flower beds of the college I was attending while I was talking to the Dean.Kids will embarass the shit out of you!Then there is Levi,my 1 year old.I felt him move at 14 weeks and knew Id have my hands full.He talked early,but not as early as Jake,walked early and loves playing in the toilet.He has a temper and his cry is literally WhaaaaWhaaa.Neil and I got a kick out of that sound at the hospital.Not so much any more.Levi has only been to the ER one time so far and thats when I cut his finger while cutting his fingernails and freaked out.HE always has a bump on his made of cast iron head.B/c he thinks hes a big as Jake and wants to do everything he does.Levi will tell you nono by shaking his head.Hes done it since before he could talk,but he got his point across.Its still very cute!I was 25 when he was born and shortly afterwards I had my tubes tied.I birthed my limit and though I dont mind keeping my friends kiddos,Im glad I cant have anymore.Id rather finally go to Europe after Levi graduates high school.jake and Levi,despite the age gap,since I changed husbands are best buds.When Jake is gone to Nana's or Memaws Levi wanders around the house looking for him.I love my boys and thank God for them every day.

Where do Brusies Come From?

Im Writting on a fonkey green color to coinside with the subject at hand.Brusies.You know tose softball size ones that are purple and green and blue? Those marks that just appear on your body and the only expliantion you have for them is that little green men come in and beat on you in your sleep.Those bruises that are painful and most of the time youre not even aware they exist except when your looking and slef loathing at your fat in the mirror in that time between the bathroom and Jammies.Case in point,Samantha,a friend of mine came over a few days ago with what looked like Taladega after the race on her leg.She had a streaking black,blue mass running down her boney leg.I asked how she got such a horrible mark,thinking her husband had come up with some sexual torturing.Theyre freaks so I wasnt sure,lol.She said she didnt know HOW shed gotten it,but noticed it when she crossed her feet under her chair at the kitchen table and whacked it.Owwww,pain!I told her if she had more padding on her legs that shed not bruise so bad.Always one to eat my words,God knew what he was doing giving me a size 11 foot,b/c my mouth would ever be plenty big to fit it,I now have a mysterious bruise on my ass.Yesterday it was itching like Id been eaten up with skeeters again.{gotta love the south and our bat size pest}.Last night between the bathroom and jammies I noticed a huge one on my hail damaged ass.Its big and purple and painful.I sit on it all the time,as to protect my biggest body part,besides my mouth,so how did I get such a mark?I thought of the things Id done over the weekend,and I dont recollect getting shot at gun school.Neil and I had a heated session on the floor at his folks,but no hard grasping was involved.Just quiet,try not to get caught by them or the kids,so nothing there.So as it stands now I have a similar bruise on my butt that not only still itches,but hurts like hell when I sit the wrong way,and like I said I sit a lot!

Fat Women Dont wear Belts

So I learned a valuable lesson yesterday.I realized why I havent worn a belt in in years.I have too much junk in my trunk,abs,and sides to need one.I wear shirts that cover up my waist,adn thus the fold over from the top of my jeans so no one can see.Neil and I took a class yesterday with his dad to get our concealed carry permits.That way we can legally carry a gun on our person.the attire requirements were to wear something comfy and a belt.to me thats a conflict of interest,cuz a belt on a big woman just aint my idea of comfy.We had to stop at a local Walmart and buy me one.A sturdy one non the less,not the cute fabric pointless things that are the current vouge.I had to buy a HUGE belt to wear around my middle to hold my .38 holster on.I already have a bladder the size of a Walnut,and intentionaly squishing it was not my idea of a good time.I had to pee like 10 times over the cource of a few hours.My body was in revolt,what the heck was I doing to it,squishing and confining it thte way I was!?I like to let my fat roll flop over and when I stand up in my just belwo the waist jeans I let gravity to its dang job,let everything fall where it may.I sat there in a small calssroom with other people breathing my air figeting all day.Though I didnt talk much,as to not embarass Neil with all the stupid questions I had going thorugh my mind,but I wiggled like I had ants in my pants.He kept telling me to be still.I told him I couldnt.the dam belt kept irriataitng me to no end and my bladder was in full on rebellion.How could I sit still when i was in comfortable?But none the less I behaved and shot acuratly enough to pass the class,go me.But I was sitting beside the Valedictorian and Salutatorian of the class.Neil shot 100% ont he range and I brought up the rear with a 76% accuracy.But he was shooting his semi auto and I had my trustly revolver he had given me as a wedding gift.But I guess now he knows if good and pissed off theres a 76% chance Im gonna hit what ever I aim at.belt and all.If i could have shot barefooted and belt less Id have gotten at least 90%.I cant think with shoes on either! So the moral of the story is I can't remeber when I stopped wearing a belt,but I sure know the hell why!