Where do Brusies Come From?

Im Writting on a fonkey green color to coinside with the subject at hand.Brusies.You know tose softball size ones that are purple and green and blue? Those marks that just appear on your body and the only expliantion you have for them is that little green men come in and beat on you in your sleep.Those bruises that are painful and most of the time youre not even aware they exist except when your looking and slef loathing at your fat in the mirror in that time between the bathroom and Jammies.Case in point,Samantha,a friend of mine came over a few days ago with what looked like Taladega after the race on her leg.She had a streaking black,blue mass running down her boney leg.I asked how she got such a horrible mark,thinking her husband had come up with some sexual torturing.Theyre freaks so I wasnt sure,lol.She said she didnt know HOW shed gotten it,but noticed it when she crossed her feet under her chair at the kitchen table and whacked it.Owwww,pain!I told her if she had more padding on her legs that shed not bruise so bad.Always one to eat my words,God knew what he was doing giving me a size 11 foot,b/c my mouth would ever be plenty big to fit it,I now have a mysterious bruise on my ass.Yesterday it was itching like Id been eaten up with skeeters again.{gotta love the south and our bat size pest}.Last night between the bathroom and jammies I noticed a huge one on my hail damaged ass.Its big and purple and painful.I sit on it all the time,as to protect my biggest body part,besides my mouth,so how did I get such a mark?I thought of the things Id done over the weekend,and I dont recollect getting shot at gun school.Neil and I had a heated session on the floor at his folks,but no hard grasping was involved.Just quiet,try not to get caught by them or the kids,so nothing there.So as it stands now I have a similar bruise on my butt that not only still itches,but hurts like hell when I sit the wrong way,and like I said I sit a lot!