Our Squirrell N Dumplin's Story

Our Squirrel Story:
It begins in Oct. Of 2007. I was a new bride married to my HeMan.He had just come home from his semi annual hunting trip with his HeMan Woman haters club. The rest as they say,is history....

In Oct every year Josh goes hunting/camping with his best friends,that time of year is squirrell. {From now on will be refered to as S.} In April is the elusive Turkey. In OCt of 2007, after we had been married since Febuary, we were still in that honeymoon phase of our marriage. We were still trying to Out Nice each other.
When my fearless hunter returned from his trip, flithy,stinky ,blissfully happy at a fruitfull trip,I was glad to see his boy like grin permanatly planted on his face. Then he asked me to do something for him, Make S and Dumplin's. Still trying to be a good lil housewife, I heartily agreed. ,With one exception, I was not touching the damn things...IT WAS ALL DOWN HILL FROM THERE!
He brought the S's in, about 5,if memory serves. They were dressed.For those who arent familiar, they were cleaned and skinned,no tails and no heads {THANK GOD!} He brought them in a zippy bag and put them in the fridge. I was trepidatious to say the least,and had to figure out how I was gonna cook the Tree Rats,as I refer to them,then and now. Hmmm, so he went to bed to rest before having to work his night shift job...
About noon,since we normally eat about 5 or 5:30 pm when he works, I thought I'd best get the rats a cooking., Having never cooked one before, I had to think. Some foods are referred to as tating like chicken. Since an S looks like a squab I thought Id just cook them like a chicken. So I began my dutiful wife quest by filling up my large stock pot with water. Knowing I had to make dumplins later,I knew I'd need broth. Then I had a light bulb moment,as I like to refer to them. I'll use my tongs,as to not have to touch the rats! Genious that I am,ya know. So, I grabbed them one at a time with the tongs,and sprayed them off with the kitchen sprayer. YES,so far so good in not touching them! Into the pot they all went. I added some garlic,salt,pepper,and onion. Garlic makes anything taste good,right. So I thought what the hell,and added some more!
They began to boil and rumble on the stove. I had no idea when they would be done,and I sure as heck was NOT gonna taste them to see.I simmered them after the rolling boil about 2 hours. They smelled good, but had a distinct odor I could not place. Warm and hearty,but well, like a tree rat! Even the semi smell good scent wafting through my home still had not sold me on trying them.
Like most chicken n dumplins makers, I knew to remove the meat before adding the dumplin's. At this point my dumplins were a horrible work in progress.{still are at times,but I reconfigured how to make them,thanks to the Food TV's show "Down Home with the Neely's"} I made them like I rememeber Mama making them. {later when I asked her HOW she made hers so good and mine were not,she said she used Bisquick, DUH SARAH!} So I cut my shortening into my flour,added a dash of salt and added milk. Like a regular buiscuit. Fine,well,and good. I let them "set" on the counter after rolling them out and cutting them into squares with a pizza cutter. Then I brought the broth up to a rolling boil again,like I had always seen Mama do.Into the pot they went. glop,glop,glop. Some began to rise back to the top before the rest could be added. A sure sign I had done SOMETHING right...Oh I wish that had been the case. I unmasterfully began to stir the dumplin's,as they rose,to push them back down in hopes to cook even. Boy hidey was I wrong! When I assumed they were finished cooking, I put the lid on the pot. The way I could tell this was b/c the broth had thickend and there were still whole dumplins floating at the top! Sucess I thought! I then turned down the heat for a short simmer,about 30 minutes or so, stirring them every 5 minutes. Nothing worse than a pot of scortched dumplin's I thought! I noticed everytime I stirred the pot some of the dumplins were falling apart and the broth was getting thicker and thicker. Right on track! Then I began to make cornbread and fried okra. No dumplin meal is complete in Dixie without it,ya know?
Then when I assumed the umplins were done, the indication being the dumplins had turned into white glop with dollops of what looked like Daisy in it, I then retrieved my handy tongs and added the S's back to the hot bubbling cauldrun of doom!
When Josh awoke, he too smelled the wonderful scent of tree rat. Anxious to get up and eat my culinary triumph he quickly showered and made short order of coming to the stove. His eyes shinning,his mouth wattering,and happy as a pig in shit,that his wife was such a good cook! I stood near him as he added a big hunk of homemade buttermilk cornbread to his plate,slathered with soft butter. He grabbed my waist and kissed me,and said many thanks,baby.
Hmmm, I thought...Just wait! So he grabbed a big dipping spoon all anxious to gobble up the fruits of his weekend. And what do his wondering eyes does he dip out? Yep, A WHOLE S! He looked at me rather puzzled,and exclaimed I was supposed to pull the meat off the bones.
Nuh UH I replied. You asked me to cook them,I told you I was NOT touching the dam rats,and you didnt say nothing about taking the meat off the bones!
So a bit disgruntled,he pulled every last one of the now shrunk to the bones S's out of the pot and disasembled them.

Moral of the Story and light at the end of the tunnel : Make sure you tell your wife exactly what you want her to do with forgein varmit! And me, well, since then he's never asked me to make it again!