Friday, June 11, 2010

Next year I BUY the cake!


So ,in a moment, Oh so sweet with Caleb,he asked for a racecar cake for his birthday! Ahhh, I thought, a way for this would be frugal Suzy F. Homemaker,to shine! No 3 year old of mine will have a store bought cake! my first stop was Walmart.com to look for a cake pan. 12.00 OMG! Next stop on the world wide web was ebay. Gotta love those Buy It Now prices. I picked up a shiny new 1997 edition Wilton cake pan for 4.99 plus only 5 for shipping. Plus 99c for a ckae mix 2.99 x 2 for spray icing,and 4.99 for colored writting icing,and honey we were in business,let me tell you! {Dont do the math NOW, I'll suprise you at the end}

So today, the day before the small gathering of ppl in our new home to celebrate the birth of our lil Monkey, I decide, wooo hooo, time to make the cake. I did my due dilagence {sic},and googled the Wilton site for cake decorating tips. I read and re-read the instructions. yes,they have info on how to decorate a cake for a pan made in 1997. Just FYI,yall.

Got out my Pampered Chef mixing bowl and Joshes GM's hand mixer and make a chocolate cake I did. I evened it out in the pan and into the oven,Im still getting used to, it went. 25 minutes later the buzzer went off. I timed it, taking No chances on burning my baby boys cake! Not done. I noticed one side looked a lil more full too. Oh well, I thought, it will even out. Um No. 35minutes in and the cake is done. I set it out to cool. I had not only used REAL shortening to grease up the pan,but flour too. Domestic Godess, YES I AM,I thought. Got time to flip the cake onto my platter. My MIL had given me JUST the right large size platter for this bohemouth of a cake! I had lined it with foil,shinny side up. Better to show off my masterpiece, I thought....THEN. When the flip occured is when I really noticed the cakes lopsidedness. Oh well, I thought, its the top of it,and I can prop it up with icing...

I used good ole store bought cream cheese icing of the generic variety. I think that was my first mistake. Yes! Ill blame it on the dam icing itself, not my own ineptness.

Time to deocrate. Per Wilton's instructions, I made some grey with the icing I had fluffed up with the mixer,and the spray can of goo,made by Betty Crocker. Think easy cheese,yall.but icing. came with handy dandy tips too. How worthless they will become,let me tell you!
So I ice the sides,per Mr.Wilton's instructions. I made lil grey windows in the car,I iced the rest of the cake. On "Wonderful Wedding cakes" or whatever the hell that show is, they always "crumb coat" the cake. Hah, I am decorating genious...that was until my windows began to look like storm clouds...OH well, I can outline them later and fill it in...Yes, eat your heart out Walmart Bakery,Mama is on a mission tonight!
I used the spray can to make what I intended to be curt stars for the checkered flag that borders the racecar. Um NO! Came out in a steady stream of icing. Youd think with all my stoner days behind me of easy cheese eating competitions,Id be a pro at this sort of thing. Nope! Ok, fine and good. I make yet more outlines on the car itself. Came out looking like that Johnny Cash song car, yall know the one Im talking about, 59,61,64,69,71 auto-MO-bile. Have no clue what the car brand or make or anything like that is. Im a girl, i have breast,I dont NEED to know that. Hmmm, now for the color of the body, I reach for my I thought was red can of spray icing. Ever motivated Im doing whats best for Caleb making him a homemade cake. I'll be damned if the red does not come out WHITE! WHAT? Its supposed to be RED,I thought,so I can make it like Lightening Maqueen. Um No. So hmmmm, I KNOW, FOOD COLORING!!! Bright blue,right into the 1/2 c measuring cup,Id just made the black in. Haha Black and blue. Needless to say I splashed NEON Blue food coloring on me,the floor,and the counter top. Had it been the tile of our old house,I'd have worried about it later, but we're renting and its Pergo floors, had to get up the blue splash really fast! yay, a rag and dawn,and its gone...myself I'll get to later. {Im a horribly messy cook!} So gobs of this blue concotion went onto the "crumb coat" of the cake in various places I had outlined. Hmmm,getting to the hood of the car,I realized I'd cut the front off too short, on goes more black spray icing. It was beginning to putter out by then. Kinda like Easy cheese when you still have the munchies! So I gobbed on enough to cover up my grey mess I made on the front.
Next came the white icing. I paid 2.99 for that stuff,I intended to use it,dernit. So I put on a cool tip and sprayed the checkered flags in. looks good,but has no edge. Waaaa laaa,my sons labor of love was done! Um NO! It needed to be colored in various places,and not in blue,so I added some lime green to what was left of one tub of best choice icing,and waaa laaa, green "accent" colors. At least Im going with a theme here...NEON. as if this horribly decorated cake needs anymore attention...So I smear the green around the sides I had crumb coated as well. there now, I thought! Wont ppl oooohhh and ahhhh. Um No! It still needed something else. I guess Ill never learn. So I added a big ole white 3 in 3 layers smack dab in the center of the cake. cant blame a Mama for trying can you?

Yall its awful! looks like a big ole neon freaking mess. if we had any extra money Id just go to Kroger in the morning and buy that baby a cake with race cars on it. I think from now on Im gonna let the professionals do it,and stick to just feeding ppl. So basically what Im saying is, you will be fed well,but it may not be pretty. And some day Caleb is gonna look back and go "thanks Mama". or at least I hope so. But it will more likely be "Mama, what n the hell was that about?" lol.and it was NOT frugal to make this cake. Its only frugal if you use a cake pan you already have,and a cheap mix and make cup cakes!
Edited to say: The small gathering went off as planned. the house was clean and nice,and smelled of sugared lime candle. Caleb loved his cake, which not to brag,was pretty tasty too, clean fun was had by all,and cake was enjoyed too. Even lil Jackson,who at his own party wanted nothing of cake,ate it. His mama,Becky,Learned it was an icing thing, not a cake thing. :)