The Awful Truth

Its 6 am and I didnt sleep.I didnt get too much sleep the night before either since Levi climbed out of his toddler bed and was wandering the hall going eeeeaaaatttt,POP TART.But last night I did get to hang out with hubby and just relax a bit.Yesterday I made a step in weight loss.I went to the Diet Doc and got adipex.Im going to talk real numbers now,since my SAHM blog is turning into my journal of hopeful weight loss.I got the little white and blue specked pills called comoonly as Adipex.When I weighed there their scales said 216.Yes,IM not scared to admit it anymore.Its b/c for over a year my number has been 220 and upwards.At my last check up,right before Christmas the Doc scales said 222.which was down from 227.So you can see,Im a big lady.I am 5'7,but still,those are high numbers.Numbers I want smaller.Those few lbs have given me motivation.This morning on my own scales it siad 217.So I think Im going with the doc.Becky told me that was great,that the doc scales normally wiegh heavy.The diet plan per the docs office is low carb.Im not sure how I can follow that to the T,but Im going to try.They also say no milk,yogurt,and cream cheese.Blah on that.I have to eat yogurt to keep other things in balance,know what I mean.the Yoplait fat free stuff is divine!So,this morning I took 1/2 a 37.5 mg pill and we will see what happens.Im proud that ive already started loosing wweight on my own.The adipex does make me moody,and when I asked my counselor about that,she told me to eat.That the pills make you not hungrey,so you dont eat,and by the end of the day you bottom out.I know this for a fact,b/c Ive taken it before.So I will eat,to keep my blood sugar up,at least a bit.I asked about what a weight goal should be for mya ge and height.She was encouraging and siad not to focus on numbers right now.Just focus on getting my 32 BMI down below 25 I think it was.Smaller numbers,I see where they were going with that.Im not saying I cant do this with out the peppy pills,but I want that jump start.I took it for 2 months before,lost 20 on it,then loast 10 on my own over the next 2 months.Then shorty after I was maintiang that,I got pregnant with Levi.Then I breastfed,then Lexapro.All the while being happily married to Mr.Right.Becky reminded me of this,so I didnt feel so bad for being so big.Shes right,and a great friend.Tam wont take the pills,but she did loose 2lbs this week,so YAY TAm!She will be the one to tell me get off my butt and walk!I need that from her too,and Ill be the one givng her lower cal recipes,b/c I need to mother her.lol.Its a system of Checks and balances.For me,It think I will watch my carbs,but not kill myself if I cave and eat a tater.NOt a TATER CHIP,just a spud,with moveover butter and light sour cream.I had the munchies after dinner last night so I ate a handful of pretzels dipped in mustard.I guess Im trying to train myself to eat sour instead of sweet.One of hte pieces of literature from the doc said dont let a 3 inch squared muscle control you.as in my craving for sweets and hi fat things.made sence to me.And I can continue to take my celexa while on this.Becky said it made her firend be a raving phycho taking both.We will see.I can also take the occasional nerve pill Ive had stashed away from the dentist too.I was honest with the Doc about the meds I take and why I take them.I dont want to screw me up b/c I need a buzz.Today is not day one for me,but it is a new start on my new quest.I channeling Bridgett Jones when I write this...I know it will make me smoke more,but Im not giving that up,just yet.But I did do my half caf blend this am on coffee.Its COLD outside,so I hope instead of waling today we break out the Wii and go bowling later.Family fun for everyone....