Future Home of the Doo Drop Inn

It's that time in West Tn when spring is toying with us. There has been no real winter to speak of thank the dear Lord for that,as I detest snow. However,during this hibern
ation season, plans have been in the making for what we are calling "Operation Chicken Drop". Yes, we are getting hen's out here in the boonies! No, I don't mean me and the girls sitting round cackling, but real live hens! When we moved to our current home, almost two years ago, I was promised chickens! There was even a stipulation in the lease,saying,yes,I can get them. Last year it seemed to be a dead in the water venture,but I did get my garden. This year,we're expanding the country living operations!

For months,nay,years, I've been dreaming of the day when my hen house dreams would come true, and I'd have a feathery little flock of girlie hens flapping and cackling about. Those dreams are now becoming a reality! Back in early winter Joshes cousin had built him a deer stand out of an old pallet of some sort. Tall,off the ground,floored,sided,and big enough for a recliner. As time went on this winter and time ran out,said cousin didn't have time to finish the deer stand. The first time I saw this massive creation, I just KNEW it was the thing for a hen house. I called him then and there,knowing he was somewhere working on the river barges,and asked him if come spring, he reckoned he could built another structure,JUST like the deer stand. He said sure,if we'd supply beer and wood. It was a done deal,and my

hopes were higher than ever before about my hen house. Well, turns out ole Cuz didn't have time to finish out his deer stand,so I asked him if we could buy it fro

m him on the cheap! He readily agreed! I was so happy.

Then the arguing commenced between me and Josh. He's a country boy and the smartest guy you'll ever meet,but he knew no chicken terms,except fried,smothered

,dumplin's, and the like. So, I had to teach him about hen houses,coops,hen's,feed, stuff like that. He's the brawn,and I'm the scatter brain of the outfit.

We did a once,twice, three,four,hell,I lost count over on the prefab structure willing it to become a house for my future hen's. We finally decided on a spot in the yard, and an interio

r design that would suit not only the hen's,but we who shall take care of said

hens.The plans have been modified,re modified,and argued,discussed and finally, Yes Dear

ed,from Josh.

Over this past weekend we were able to haul the shell of what will become ,"The Doo Drop Inn", to our piece of the Promised Land of West Tn. Right now the hull is sitting in the yard,adjacent to where it will be finally set up for our hens. You will see in the picture's what is done and what NEEDS to be done to finish it out. We have gone over so many idea's about interior design, size and locations of nesting boxes,material for them, roost post, flooring, all kinds of stuff, you probably wouldn't think you need to know in o

rder to begin a back yard flock. Trust me, its a lot of work,and the hens aren't even here yet.

Thankfully I have a field manual to this whole chicken ball game,or stew pot shall we say. It's Storey's Guide To Raising Chickens.1995 and 2010 version. I have both.

Sitting in and around the yard now is the hen house, boards to finish it out, the roost post, the 5 gal buckets I decided to use for nest. [An Aside buckets, I got them for FREE at my local grocery store simply by asking a deli/bakery clerk if they had any. ] There is wood to use to hold the buckets in place, little trim boards so the eggs don't roll out, paint, nails,screws,and soon a big slice of plywood that will be used as a roof and covered with tar paper,I think it's called. Josh had post for the wire over at his parent's house. I raided their shed for scrap wood pieces to use for the inside. I bought the wire at Tractor Supply along with water and feeders, and big rubber boots for my sled size feet!

So now, thanks to Joshes cousin splitting an order of Rainbow Assortment Layers from Murry McMurry Hatchery, we will have 12 hens come on or around March 19,2012. We figured we'd get a variety to see what kinds we like,and half the fun of seeing what we gonna git! They have to stay in a brooder box, anything from an actual wood and wire brooder box,a Rubbermaid tub,or just a card board box, for a month. the goal is to have most everything ready by then,but if it's not,there will still be time to finish out the actual chicken yard.

I asked my Father in Law if he thought I was crazy for all this, he being a kind man, just kinda smiled and changed the subject!

The Top picture is the area where the hen house and coop will be. The end of the hen house will be flush against the shed. There will be a door for people to walk in and out of, a chicken yard built and the inside finished.

.....Stay Tuned.

The Clampitts and The Brady's go a Camping!

This year,if we were to get a vacation of any kind,it had to be cheap. Back in the spring my BFF,Jessica,and I decided this was the year we would finally combine our 2 families,and go camping for a few days,make that 4 to be exact. We decided on Land Between the Lakes,on the KY/TN line,b/c it looked like half way for us,near Memphis,Tn,and half way for them near Bardstown,KY. Sure enough,when we mapped it,it was exactly half way. We chose a little known camp ground in the Federal Reserve park called Energy Lake. With the help of the resident keeper,we chose 2 sites perfect for her crew of 8,and mine of 4.

We planned for months,both in person,via email,and on the phone. We Mama's wewre going to make this the best vacation yet for our hard working husbands,and children. We both packed massive amounts of CRAP! Pure crap! Well,mostly ME,since this trip made time #4 camping for me,and the last time was 3 years ago with my inlaws and family. Growing up on a State Resivoir,Arkabutla Lake,we didn't HAVE to go camping! We fished and swam at will growing up.Josh,Henry,and Jessica however were old pro's at this. Joshes family vacations as a kid ment sleeping in a tent,Henry's family have a cabin,and Jessica is a Girl Scout,family camper,and Boy Scout Den Mom. I'd rather have HER in the woods with me than our men...shh..dont tell. We planned what foods to bring,who would bring what gear,and the like. So the day arrived,and we loaded up my FIL's borrowed camper and Tahoe,and set out for the wilds of KY!

We arrived way after our friends did. They already had their tent set up,fire going,and the kids were playing on the near by,{when I say near by,I mean 30 yards away,and we could see all of them there}. We arrived to our huge,shaded spot,and set about making camp ourselves. Granted,I was mainly watching everyone else and following their lead,since I had NO real clue what to do. I did get a lil pissy when Jess told us our sites,didn't have water hookups.well crap! time to figure out plan B on things. turns out,yes it was a pain in the ass for them to haul water up,but Jess brought these huge water cube things that held like ten or 15 gallons of water.And I had picked up a couple cases of bottled water,for drinking. she and I made a clothes line. with 12 ppl,it needed to be a HUGE clothesline.we strung it between 3 or 4 tree's and to be honest,it still wasnt big enough. Josh and Henry got the camper set up,and the AC turned on. We only slept in the camper,and thankfully had AC at night. Jess and them slept in the biggest tent Ive ever seen up close.with a family of 8,it has to be big,I reckon. The kids were hot,and tired from the 3 plus hr drive,so we decided to go swimming! there is a large size of the lake squared off for swimming,complete with teeny sandy/rocky beach.Fun for everyone.We adults could all stand flat footed at the barrier tube,so we rode herd on our young while they swam and frolicked in the brown,murky water. It was great,but felt like a bath tub in most places. Jessica and I figured out quick that since it was a small lake,and only a few boats,we could swim out way past the barrier,and find cool spots. BLISS. being weightless with my back was the first time in forever my back didnt hurt!

Supper that night was an interesting affair. I had assumed there would be tall grills to cook on. Not this site. We had a round fire ring,with a grate that covered half of it.So Henry and Josh rinsed off taters,and Henry put them directly on the grate. I dont think Ive ever eaten a better tater in my life.This,coming from she who can cook a tater! Then He grilled chicken Jessica had marinating for a day in some yum.And I busted open a bag of salad mix. WaaLaa,Supper. It was So yum! Then after supper,the obligitroy smore fixin's were brought out. Its great being a grown up at smore time! Better n being a kid. B/c with 8 kids around,and dual ended roasting wires{thank you Poppy!} the kids could cook 2 large marshamallows at one time,but only eat 1 smore at a time. So,lightbulb! Get a kid,whichever kid,to roast 2 at a time,and I set up a smore for them,and me,and they got to stand over the fire and roast em. Yes,I AM Smore genious!!! The Super Jumbo marshmallows we found at Walmart were a HUGE hit with the kids too!

Then shower,and dish washing time. Chaos soon commenced in this crudeish bath house. Imagine this,if you will. a small bathroom sink,you have to push the button down to make the water come on,a foot tub full of dirty plates,cups and silverware,a bottle of Palmolive,a large bath towel,a rag,and ingenuity! I had to wash these dishes in that sink that night. I didnt come up with a system that really worked,but somehow none of us got sick,and Jessica,Girl Scout Genious she is,had it all figured out by breakfast. 2 tubs with water,one soapy,one not,whaa laaa,clean dishes!!!

The next morning Jessica made pancakes for breakfast.They had set up the coleman stove,and since we BOTH forgot our griddles,Jess shelled out pancakes for 12 in a 9 inch iron skillet.I made coffee in the camper.My inlaws have this vintage electric percolater coffee pot thing. She brought her's that is metal,that you heat with a flame,but since Im still a novice,I stuck to the ' lectric one. 2 pots that morning were consumed! Thats when Henry told us about the SKUNKS! HUH? Whut,skunks? what the hell? yes,he said. he said he dosed off in his lawn chair after we'd all gone to bed,and awoke to feel something furry around his feet. In his sleepiness,he didnt know what it was,but then shortly realized,in the firelight,it was a pole cat! he said he kinda tensed up and didnt move,for fear of being sprayed. but they didnt bother him,they just rooted around in the trash and ran off. hmmmm.more to come on that later....
She and I had to run into town to pick up some forgotten items. YES,after ALL that,we forgot shit! I had to get NAME brand Dr.Pepper for Josh,she had to get baby wipes and powder. I hit the mother load of cheap UK Wildcat crap at the Dollar General. Came back armed with a new coffee mug,tee shirt,and UK sticker for my soon to be new car! Josh says Im just ate up with Wildcat fever. He's right! So,since we were HONGREY,we hit McDonalds for some lunch,shhh,dont tell the kids.Esp since they ate hot dogs and chips! That afternoon we spent several hours in the lake. It was pure bliss for all of us. We dragged back to camp in time for the Daddies to take a drive,and bring back some oak firewood for supper. on the menu, shuck roasted fresh corn,steak,and baked beans! Yum. Henry,who was the cook pretty much all weekend,can cook a steak!!! Nathan at like 3 ears of corn. He had a tummy ache later,duh,but Henry was impressed at his fierceness in attacking said ears! we learned a bit later,not all the ears made it into the fire!
So after the children were bedded down,we adults enjoyed a ngiht cap under the stars. Thats when we saw them. Them being SKUNKS!!! as in peppy la P-U skunks! One was munching on an ear of corn left under a picnic table by a child. Then,in the street lights,we saw 2 more! these ones were white!!! But obviously SKUNK!!! Josh,the brave man,was able to run the once under the picnic table off! But the sucker came back! I somehow voulunteered myself to chase em away! I grabbed my flashlight and walked over the wood beam into the tree's,praying all the way I didnt get sprayed! I grabbed me a large limb,per Joshes suggestion,and commenced to making vulgararities and waving motions at these vermits! All I could hear behind me was pure laughter from them! Then I saw it. One of them had turned its tail up! SHIT! Im bout to be sprayed! So I threw the limb at them,and RAN! I say I only run if Im being chased,well,now I've added seeing skunk butt to the list as well! They ran off,didn't spray,thankfully,and didnt come back,while we were up. However,at just day break,when I stumbled out of the camper to find a tree,and Henry,unknown to me,was stumbling for a drink of water, we saw em again! They had invaded all the way to the SITE this time. I dont know who was more suprised to see them.Me n Henry,or the skunks who scurried away!

That day,since it was over cast and too muggy for us to just sit around,we decided to visit a place n the park called The Homeplace. Its a real working farm,set in 1850. It was neat,to us adults,but until we got to the workshop,the kids were not really impressed. We adults could appreciate modern times with all of our conviences,like running water,indoor plumbing and TV.

We got back to camp,and swam some more. Poor Josh had gotten fried the day before,so he swam in a shirt. He is still really burned and even in the full ac last night,didnt sleep b/c he's in pain.He's got blisters on him. We adults voted to go out to supper on Saturday night. It seems that our full steam of thursday,had began to sputter by Saturday evening. I think its b/c we werent in our own beds. My mind loved the place,the memories made and what not,but my creaking back was in full on revolt! We went into town and ate at this great Mom n Pop fish house. Being from MS,I know good catfish,and that place has it. I think it was called Willow Pond or some such. We left full,and 2 jars of sorgum in tote! I also stuck some catfish away in a napkin,so I could have skunk bait! My camera died the night before,and I figured I HAD to have some proof of these suckers! I didnt have to get it out though,they came anyway!

Back at the "swamp" we made more smore's,and put the kids to bed early. We wanted some grown up time. Before that could happen,though,Caleb's words rang out! Look!!! Its a white skunk! He's running for your tent!!! Sure enough we look to our left,and see a white skunk scurring towards the Lyver's tent! Henry's oldest daughter flipped out!!! She was so stinking acred. this,a child who had just brought up a baby frog,was scared of the skunks! We told her they were scared of us,and if they wanted to attack us or spray us,they would have done it already! So she FINALLY said she'd go to bed,after we assured her Uncle Josh has a shot gun,and our camper was closer to them,than their tent... So as we adults are sitting there quietly talking,laughing,and carryon,they came BACK!!!and yes,ran towards the tent again.You could hear the boys say,LOOK,he's coming back!!! They thought it was neat,Im glad though that baby girl was on the other end of the tent,and we think was asleep by then. So,I was on a skunk mission that night. My goal was to get close,snap pics,and not get us all sprayed!!! I was mid way through doing just that,when one walked right up to me.I swear it was a mere inches from me.In the half light,I grabbed at anything that could be used as a weapon,I wound up with a scrub brush for veggies! I got a lot of hell for that too,like what were ya gonna do,Sarah,clean his butt?
After that close call,I decided to enjoy my slight buzz,and just simply BE. Not for long. the sucker came back,and crawled on OUR side of the beamed barrier. YEp. ALL of us adults were sitting in a line,and it climbed over by our fire,just rooting around.It LICKED marshmallow off discared wire skewers!!! NO LIE,yall. We ALL sat really still,till I grabbed my camera,thinking NOBODY is going to believe this!!! The skunk posed,as in it looked right at the blinding flash,and stopped. Probably b/c he was blind.but he didnt run off,even after about 8 snaps of the camera!!!
Shortly after that is when i decided to hang it up and go to bed!!! All of us did.

The next morning,chaos commenced. We had to resort our stuffs from each other,round up kids,avoid the massive amounts of yellow jackets that were swarming. half the kids got stung,Jessica wound up stung 3 times,Josh once. It was craziness,to be sure. Took us a full 2 hrs to load up and pick up stuff. Ever the duitiful Boy Scout Mama,Jess was telling the kids to leave no trace. Good idea,and allbut that ment I got to pick up ciggerette butts. not fun half hungover,to be sure. When we arrived,everything was neat,and organized. When we left,shit was thrown in Hefty bags,and slammed in the back of our cars.

We took the scenic route home,and enjoyed the last bit of family time. I know Jess and them made it home too. We've decided to return to the same place,and the same sites this time next year! We had talked about going to the Gulf Coast,but this was cheaper,closer,and just wonderful. We made some new friends along the way,whom we hope will join us again,and we want to bring our friends the White's and family along too. It was surely one of the best vacations I've ever had. All the kids want to return as well.

Lesson's learned. Bring more goldbond,bandaides,and booze.
Casualties of camping, Nate's flip flops,Logan's shoes,and Caleb's glasses!


So watch out Energy Lake,the Clampitts,and the Brady Bunch will be back soon!!!

Father's Day

Today is a day here in America,that has been set on the calander to honor Father's. It's simply called Father's Day. It follow's Mother's Day by about a month. What is Father's day? How did it come about? Those things I do not know,but I'm sure if I googled it,I could find out. I don't want to. Today we will honor the father's in our family with a lunch at my GM inlaw,Nanny's house. Ham will be baked,sides will be served up,and a cheesecake I made will be eaten. All the while the men of the clan are sitting on the porch,shooting the breeze,not really thinking about we who dont have father's to celebrate anymore. The mothers in the family will set out a spread to feed our hungrey men,and maybe say a few words. Myself,my MIL,and GM inlaw ,know what its like to not have a Father on today. This is the first one for me. Today is not much unlike any other Sunday dinner with the Clan. But today is different for me,b/c I'm not calling my Daddy on the phone to say hello on this Hallmark Holiday. Why is so much emphasis put on Mother's day and Father's day. Shouldn't we honor them every other day of the year as well? Shouldn't we cherish memories,make new ones,and enjoy each other's company the rest of the Sunday dinners? I think we should. I read somewhere years ago,that more flowers are sent on Mother's day than on Valentines Day,{another Hallmark holiday that climbs all over me,we boycott it here,b/c our anniversary and Joshes birthday are around that time}. And that more collect calls are made on Father's day than any other day of the year. Is a Father less important than a Mother? I dont think so. I think that society has put Mothers on a rightly earned pedestal,and Father's are the workhorses of our country.
My own husband,is one of those work horses,he gets up everyday and goes to work to provide for us,his family. I tell him I appreciate him in so many ways,every day. He loves his children every day,and they love him. At times,that love means discipline,or cuddling,or teaching them new things,or taking them on adventures in his Jeep. Just he and the boys. They make wonderful Daddy memories every day with him. Memories,that I hope when he is gone,they can look back and say,that He was a great Father,and loved us so much.
I can say that about my own Daddy. He loved me even when I was wrong,even when I was mad at him,when I was down he tried to lift me up,when I was mad,he was mad too,when I couldnt figure things out,he was a phone call away. Now,I dont have that. All I have is my memories to sustain me,till we meet again on God's golden shores. I know that my Daddy is in heaven, along with my 2 grandfathers. While I know they are enjoying a happy reunion,I wonder if its possible to miss us too. Not worry or be troubled over our lives and things that might go on,but I wonder if they too feel the void of us,like we do of them. I've never thought about that till just now,sitting in front of my keyboard.
The way I see it, we should honor,love and show our Father's whoever they may be, be it step,father in law,grandfather or grandfather in law,that we appreciate them every day,in every way.

Seeds planted,Dance done,and Prayer Lifted!

Well, the garden is planted here in the Boonie's of West Tn. Our garden is about the length of 2 Altima's and the width of a Hummer. It was about all the room we had. Josh,and the boys,and I,and even my Mama,aka Nana,got it sewn just 2 days ago. It will probably be a hot mess,but we get an A for family effort. We planted English peas,carrots,beets,cucumbers,{aka pickles},squash,lettuce,and watermellon. the rows arent straight at all! But I've learned that it does not matter,food will grow in crooked rows.Nathan,bless his heart,couldnt follow directions too well,and instead of popping peas in the ground by following me,he went backwards.We will probably end up with a pea,beat hybrid. The tomato's will be bought in plant form,and planted sometime over the busy Easter weekend.Maybe Saturday.
We got the flower bed turned into an herb garden! I planted zenia seeds at the end of the herb bed.they are already sprouting. I planted basil,chive,cilantro,dill,parsely,green onion,rosemary,thyme,and sage. Since I had no clue how to do it,I simply put them in alphabetical order to keep up with what is where. The basil has already sprouted! Im so happy! Nathan planted daisies,and zenia's on the other flower bed.Its got Iris,and lillies,and roses in it too.My MIL and Aunt IL did some awesome work on the flower beds here,when the Grandparents lived here.So there's lots of stuff coming back.There's a rose bush blooming,and a clematis blooming. I wound up redoing another flower bed under a big tree in the front yard. I moved some of the Iris growing in the "herb garden",bought some already blooming pansies and impaitents,and got them swen into Calebs favorite dirt digging place! Its a true challenge keeping him from stomping in the beds.Today he and I walked down the hill to check on the garden.Before we planted,we noticed some river beds,where the water drains down the hill,and straight through the garden spot. I managed to divert the water with some cinder blocks and pieces of wood. I need to put 2 more blocks down,as well. Caleb stomped right through where I think carrots are in the garden.He loves mud! and I guess since he cant SEE the seeds in the dirt,they arent there,we plowed up a fresh mud hole for him! WRONG! It gets tiresome hollering for him to get out of the garden,herbs,and flower bed.
I'm not sure yet just HOW things will grow,I just hope they do! Josh planted the cucumbers and squash,and apparently the little seed packs hold quite a few.they did on basil,carrots,and beets as well.next year i will only buy 1 pack of each! this year Im droping the rest of the seeds in the mail to my friend.shes more poor than we are,so I hope 4 bucks worth of seeds will help them out.Heck,I hope it helps us out too. I want to be able to use cucumbers I grow myself,with dill I grow myself,and garlic my cousin has at our Memaw's house,and make some kick ass pickles.All organic,but the store brand vinegar I use.
I used to be know for doing happy dances,rain dances,dont rain dances,etc. well I used to think it was from my Native American heritage,but NOW,I know its my Celtic heritage.So seeds planted,dance done,and prayer lifted!

Spring Time in the Boonies

So,I know Ive not written on here in months.Greif has a horrible hold on someone at times.I've been trying to cope,and its one day at a time.I've been doing pretty good,but now,I'm back to just ok. I have things to look forward to,and stuff around here to keep me busy. My boys are both playing little leauge this year,and watching them is a blast. We are hosting Easter Dinner here at our home this year,and then,a bridal shower for my friend Melanie who is getting married in May. Its non stop around here. I like that,most days.Keeps my mind occupied,and my hands busy. Yesterday,weee doggie,we worked and worked in the yard. I'm talking big tractor work,not diggin in the flower beds work. We are going to attempt a garden this year. I got all my seeds at the local Dollar General store.Most were 3 packs for a dollar. I'm not expecting prize winning cucumbers here,but I do hope to have enough to make dill pickles.Those are highly requested by our friends,and some family. Our garden patch,as I'm calling it,is not big. We live on a hill,so its at the bottom of our west facing hill.It gets full morning,and mid day till about 4pm sun,so I hope thats enough. We dont have any real level places on our property.except for the front yard,and a little down the hill. My patch is about 12 ft long and about 5 ft wide. I cant remember all the seeds Ive got.I know I do have beets,lettuce,cucumbers,squash,and watermellon. I'm also turning one of the flower beds in front of the house into an herb garden.Its only got a few items that come back in it,so they are going to be moved to other beds.I've got to till the soil with a small tiller today,add some garden soil to it,and some plant food.I got my seeds for the herbs at the D.G> store as well. Basil,thyme,parsley,and dill. My MIL taught me that you can pick the herbs when they come in,and they will keep making.Also,you can wash them,and freeze thm,and just hack off what you need,as you need it.I might try to try some things too.We have another flower bed int he shade under a beautiful old tree in the side yard. Caleb likes to play in it,and dig.Not this year! If he does,it wont be pretty seeing the hissy fit,I will throw.I scraped off more top dirt from the garden patch yesterday to fill in the flower bed. Im going to till in some top soil froma bag into there today too.I've got lavender,pansies,impatitents,and Iris that are going into that one. Iris is the state flower of TN. And they are so beautfiul blooming in my Nanny inlaw's yard right now.They are also my Memaw,in MS,favorite flower. I hope they do well being moved.I had some I got from my MIL,that I moved to our old house,and they did well. Ive got some old bulbs Mama gave me too.Im putting them in the dirt as well. I know this blog is normally kind of humerous,so I will share a story about me driving Uncle Bills big tractor. It has a big bucket on the front.So I filled it up with tree branches and debris from a tree that had fallen in the fall. I go down the hill,and dump my bucket onto the burn pile,and as Im getting ready to make the loop and come back up,I notice Josh waving and hollering. Oh No,what n the sam hell did I do? He was clomping down the hill and pointing at one of the front tires. I noticed it then.The ENTIRE tire had come off the rim!!! I had no clue! I've only driven a tractor once before yesterday {and my wonderful Josh taught me on both tractors}.So he tried his best to get it back on the rim,which he did,with sucess.BUT,then the ded blame thang,wouldnt air up! He had to take the tire to the shop at the GP inlaws house to fix it. It was only a delay in working our butts off yesterday.B/c soon as he got it fixed,it was back to hard work. Im proud of the work,me,Josh and Nate did yesterday.Today will be a repeat,except I DO get to dig in the dirt of my flower beds! So on a wish and a prayer,I hope it all is fruitful!

A Tyraid,if you will

So my {and my 2 sisters and my brother} Daddy died on the morning of dec 19,2010. He was 52 years old ,and died from a pulmonary embolism. It was unexpected,sudden,and yes horrible.
Im shaking as I write this tonight. I dont know if its my nerves,or the wind,or dehydration from the stomach virus we all have in various stages here at my house.

I have to get these thoughts out. Here are some of them in no particular order.

1. loosing a parent is the hardest event I have ever had to try to deal with in my life.

2. It does not matter how old you or your parent is when they pass. there is a hole there. One that you realize the moment it hits you,that will never be filled again.

3. No,you dont understand. that is unless youve lived it yourself. its not like loosing a grandparent or aunt,or dog. So dont tell me you do. you dont

4. While I know ppl have ment well,Im sick of hearing "it must really be hard this time of year" meaning Christmas time. As opposed to when March or April will make it any different? Um no.

5.you find yourself crying. not really sobbing, just tears that you cant explain,nor do you want to.

6. Unless you have just lost a child, I win right now. Yes,life is going on,but for me,right now,its stopped a little bit,and I need some time.

7. I cant be there for anyone else right now. While I can be happy or sad for you during your life or whatever is happening, I cant pay attention to it, b/c yes, Im being self absorbed right now.

8. I do have an excuse for seeming distant and scattered. there is a hole somewhere in me,that I cant explain. and maybe I never will

9. My siblings nad I all reacted pretty much the same way. the reply was screams of NO, not MY Daddy and then mass confusion.

10. You,as a child,expect to bury your parents. but not when you are 29 and your Dad is 52. It is not fair,dammit!!!

11. I feel drawn to my siblings right now in a way I cant explain. Maybe they and only they can help fill that void,since we came from the same place. But yet,Im afraid to talk to them.

12. trying to explain his Grandaddy dying is one of the most difficult things Ive ever experinced as a Mom,and holding my son while he weeps breaks my already broken heart even more.

13. No, you cant ask your Daddy how he felt when his Daddy died. You cant ask him how to get over this and how to move on.

14. Death is only peaceful for the dead. It sucks for everyone else who has to come to terms with it.

15. Embrace the parent you have left. It really,sadly,helps, when they too have lost thier own Daddy pretty unexpectedly.

16. If you were ever still a child, your youth is gone. Reality and mortality really hit home and set in.

17. Im trying to let this make me a better Mom.

18. You can't be Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow. Its the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and the first thing you think about when you wake up.

19. I need space, I think. I need to be left alone in my own thoughts. Im still in schock.

20. Even if you leave a message on that voicemail you play over and over,you KNOW you wont ever be getting a call back.

Operation Make a FruitCake,for the first time

I have literally been craving Fruitcake. I bought all the necesary components.

Currants,

Fruitcake Mix {a bland of citrus particles,and cherries.Comes in a tub and does not taste ANYTHING like fruitcake when you eat it directly from said tub. you live and learn}

Raisins

candied cherries and pineapple

Having never eaten a currant before,it was with the display,so I thought what the heck,its a holiday cake,so why not? I have the other ingridients on hand.

Nuts,

eggs,

butter,

sugar,

flour,

and Nuts.



Ive been researching cookbooks. From Paula Deen's first Lady and Son's, a garden club cookbook,my Memaws garden club printed,and even the "Bible". THe Joy of Cooking. When I found fruitcake recipes they have instructions like this

"Soak a week,, in a dark closet,, under the stairs in rot gut burbon"

" replump raisins in stale coffee for an hour"

"If you have no burbon on hand,use whatever you have!!!" Lightbulb! Best one yet. Plus you dont have to soak the fruit till its rancid and fonkey. Plus,yall know I have no paitence. Remember me making apple butter a while back?

So, I put a few scoops of the citrus stuff in a non stick pan with about 3/4 c of Blue Curcaco Liqueir. Ok, Im all set. Into the steaming blue booze, I add the citrus fruit, some raisins,some currants,a 1/4 cup of water, 1/4 cup of Molasses,and a sprinkle of coconut. Smells a bit like cough syrup. The kind the Dr gives you,makes you feel all warm,but taste like ass.

Its soaking for a few minutes,and now Im going to commence to cream up some butter,vanilla, white and dark sugar...

I didnt like ANY of the recipes I saw either online or in my cookbooks. The Devil on my shoulder is saying
" Suzy FN Homemaker, YOU can do a better job,than even the Queen of Southern cooking herself, Ms.Paula Deen." YOu think? hmmmmm we will see....

The Acutal making and putting in the oven:
Ok,so in my best wanna be the Next Food NextWork Star, I assembled all my ingredients.Some of this and that. inlcluding my brand new super duper Sunbeam standmixer {you too can have one,currently onsale at Walmart for 74.99} I got out my angel food cake pan. For a 1.99 GoodWill special,that pan has served me very well.
Anyway. I creamed
2 sticks of butter. I think one salted,one not
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 large hard glob of dark brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla
a splash of maple flavoring
and 2 eggs
I cremaed it all up with a new little hand mixer, {onsale at your local kroger for 8.99. both my new lectric mixers cost half what the KitchenAid one I wanted does}

Into the Mixer bowl,I put 3 1/2 cups SR flour,but added a dash of sea salt,and baking powder. Some of the following. I used the Racheal Ray method and palmed it. {by the time I was done,my palm was burning,freaking ginger!}
cinnamon,the expensive 1.00 kind,
all spice,ginger,cloves,and I did fresh grate nutmeg. {Ive had the same jar of nutmegs for years,and I just grate it off as needed}

So I got out the bread hooks for this monster job.{BAD IDEA!!!}
I sifted the flour mix with the hooks,and began to add my wet stuff. well,the hooks only made a small well. So I used a silicone scraper in an attmept to slide it all together. THAT did not work. So I grabbed a flat bamboo thingie,and me nad the mixer went to town.

{ASIDE: Caleb and I are still in our jammies. though we have had a wash today.Its easier to wash tees and capri's even in winter than jeans. Plus,they are tons more comfy. He is on a tall stool liking bowls and scrapers and measuring cups.He thinks himself a mini chef,and who am I to tell him no. BUT,the lil sucker grabs my shirt the whole time. i think hes afraid of falling off the stool. Thats gotta be the only thing hes afraid of. So I have a helper elf with me this whole trip.}

Ok, so the hooks were NOT doing the trick. I got to looking for my mixer beaters,I KNEW I had run in the DW earlier today. Um no,they were no where to be found. I turn around from the sink and DW to see Caleb licking yesterdays,now crunchy, cookie dough off one. Check one beater,now where n the sam hell is the other one? OH! There is is,on the floor,under an oven mitt. Best place for em,eeeh? gotta feed the mice!

So into the sink the crusted beaters go. Meanwhile the mixer is running with the bread hooks,and I hear a sound behind me! Caleb has turned on the mini hand mixer. Crap! hes gonna burn it up! So while the beaters are soaking I unplug the mini thingie,and scrape with my bamboo,paddle,shall we say, the fruitcake mix. I add the fruited mixture that had been soaking in Grandpa's cough syrup. I mean Blue Curcaco. More paddle scraping,and fighting. There are terms in Physcology about man vs things,or things vs man. Well, today it was man and machine vs 100 year old fruitcake recipe,idea. My arms are STILL burning.

Ok,so big beaters washed and clamped into the mixer. I crank that bad boy up,scraping as I go. Next thing I know Its a fruitcake batter tornado in the kitchen! In my noviceness with a grown up machine,I cranked it up too high. That green goo shit went everywhere! Me,Caleb,the counter,and back of the mixer.
EASY girl! We will get it done,I tell my mixer. Shes new,and Im a novice at the fruitcake making business,so we learned together.
Into the batter goes some slivered almonds and half a bag of walnut halves {they arent halves anymore though,b/c I made something or other last week,and whacked the whole bag with my industrial meat mallett Josh MADE me for Christmas last year.

Anyway. So, tornado over,nuts in with the fruits. I spray my pan,and a small bread pan. This stuff is looking like Fiona, Shrek's wife made it. CRAP! I forgot to add the candied cherries and pineapple. So I hack them up on a small board, mixer still humming away. Oh,yeah, I GOT THIS!
Note to fellow cooks, when using candied cherries,they WILL roll off onto the floor. So a rinse they got and chopped and bowled up they went.
It looks and smells like fruitcake to me! Gone is the cough syrupness,replaced by spicey molasses scent.

I stop the mixer,and pan up my dough. This was the heaviest dough Ive ever panned before,yall. I tried,once again to use my scraper.But no avail,so me and the bamboo paddle got it into the prepared pans.

Its now in the oven on 350 with the timer set for an hr. We shall see how it turns out. But if licking the goo off me and Caleb is any indication, well,its gonna be quite tasty if I do say so myself.
I've blogged on how I did this for a few reasons:
1. if it taste like ass,I will know what NOT to do,and follow somebody's grandma's recipe
2.If its good,Ive got it written down!
3. Im making this so other wont have to this year,and in the words of Johnny Carson, there is only one fruitcake and everyone just keeps passing it along. Well in West TN,today, I will know where it came from!