Birthday Complex

Ok,So I have a birthday complex.I always have.SO I know it should be a day to celebrate my arrival into this big bad world,but to me its not.My Mama said Ive always been like this.There are pictures of my screaming and crying at birthday parties and what not.Its always a depressiing time for me.Dont get me wrong Ive had some great ones,ten,14,21 and 25 are great ones I remeber.This year,Monday,I even get a freaking National Holiday.Brings whole new meaning to the words Labor Day,dontcha think?Ive had some not quite so fond memories too.When I turned 16 Princess Diana died.Freaking died.When I turned 24 my friends threw a small supisre party for me where everything was pink.At that time I detested the color,Im still working on that complex.Others have been great.25 found me shaking my butt on the bar at Coyote Ugly and being all fine and skinny for me.Then shortly after I found out I was getting Levi.Talk about being 25 forever.Thats when I knew Neil was the one too.He cleaned up my puke.Not jsut a few drops,But I hurled all the way from downtown Memphis,all over the side of his dads Tahoe.Bad,very bad.My Mama always made me my favorites.Like chicken divan,asparagus casserole,and banana split cake.I dont know what my deal is.Im always down for a few days before hand,day of I sob and after Im better.Like an emotional purge or something of the sorts.