A Period of Adjustment.

So right at a week on the job and i need a vacation,but wait,Im taking one!There has been so much to learn.Im trying to not let those blonde roots show too much.Having never worked in a finacail institution before,its a whole new world for me.I stand there to wait on members and my brain goes totally blank.Can they see the bog question mark above my head I wonder.Sometimes yes.I got a bit teary eyed yesterday b/c Levi is having such a hard time right now with Mommy gone.Hes in good hands,,I know,but they arent mine.Sam siad he cried all day yesterday.the only thing that amused him was Dora the Explorer.And though she didnt mind Dora in moderation,4 hours of Dora yesterday grated on her nerves,who can blame her?I told her I was having just a hard of time too.I cried when I picked him up.Its diffrent with Jake,b/c hes older and is in school.He does his homework when he gets there and plays with her son,and any other child that comes by.Levi not so much.Sam has a daughter that is 6 weeks older than him,so he has a buddy.But still.When we get home he just wnats to be held and is a tyrant!He wants me,then he wants Neil,then he wants me.He does not want to be out of our sights!I feel so bad for the lil guy,whos had me 24/7 since birth.I worked a few weeks last year,but he was so tiny,all he wanted was to be held and changed and a bottle.Now,its difffrent for him too.He KNOWs im not there.God I hate it for my baby.But I also am feeling good about working too.Its like a catch 22.I need to work finacailly right now.No way around that.With the economy,things keep getting mroe expensive and Neils stress keeps going up tp be a good provider.My hosue looks like hurriacane Ike came through.Ive gotten up early to load the dishwasher.theres still a few celan dishes,but its looking bad around here.I'll get into the swing of things.I hope.Neil does not expect me to do everything anymore thank goodness.Hes been cooking dinner and stuff,so hes a big help.And we even had nekkid time last night.Makes twice in one week!that dont happen around here too much!lol.But shortly afterwards,at 9 pm I passed out cold.Im so drained at the end of the day.Not that the job is labor intesnsive,but my brain is in overload.My Pcp is changing my meds agoan too.I cant do Paxil anymore.Made me freak out.So today Im headed to Walmart on my lunhc break to get another 4.00 generic of Celexa.2 of my friends take it.So we shall see how that one works for me.I know things will settle down once I get into a routine.right now im just not in one.Im not leaving my house this weekend.we will eat what we've got!Ife gotta scrub and scrub some more and attmept to start packing.Here I was thinking Id have all this time,a month,to sit on pins and needles before our trip.not so much anymore.Ive gotta work till 4:30 ,aka 5 everyday next week.I swear tursday night im gonna want to go to bed at 7 their time,and Im sure ill get lauhged at,but i wont care.Im hoping to have everything just baout ready to go,on sunday night,save for a few clothes for Levi and me.God is in control,and thats what I have to remeber!